How real can wives be?

She thinks my wife is lazy and only gets to watch Telemundo at home. As long as my wife is happy, I really don’t have a problem with this. But really, is there anything wrong with this?” An embattled and confused husband asks. “Why should anyone be angry that you treat your wife the way […]

She thinks my wife is lazy and only gets to watch Telemundo at home. As long as my wife is happy, I really don’t have a problem with this. But really, is there anything wrong with this?” An embattled and confused husband asks.
“Why should anyone be angry that you treat your wife the way you do? Any lady who is not happy about the way he treats his wife should pray for a husband who will treat them like a queen. I will suggest to the man in question to continue whatever he feels like doing for his wife as long as he loves her. If you have the money to spoil her let him flaunt it well there is nothing wrong with that. It is the best way he feels he can show her he loves her,” says Amaka Ikechukwu
Oluwafunsho Olabisi says as long as there is peace in the home it supersedes all other things in the home: “Why are some people saying the maids are too much? A woman has been married for 35 years and she has never cooked yet their marriage is peaceful and united. Once a man loves you he can do anything. If any of us find ourselves in that woman’s shoes, we won’t think of opening a business and we will not wish our husbands dead. There’s no big deal in being a stay-at-home mum. Once the husband is the one who provides all and he is very much comfortable with it. His mum is having issues out of jealousy, I can’t say she cares about the wife but she is just seeing her son as the only one who does everything. There’s nothing like peace in a home and it supersedes all others. The woman might not be working but her husband comes home every day as a happy man. Do you know how she started with her husband? She might be working when they just got married but since the man is now very stable financially, he has decided to make life comfortable for his wife. Even if he opens a supermarket for her, she will have sales attendants there and she can decide to be at home. From the look of things, the man can establish her but he might just want a very comfortable life for his wife. I would advise he follows his heart and do what he feels like as doing contrary might rid his home of the peace he enjoys now.”
Nkechi Ogbonna Okechukwu believes that: “There is absolutely nothing wrong. In the Bible, Sarah (Abraham’s wife) and other women had their maids too. If you can afford it keep it up. That is the way it should be. It’s the Telemundo watching aspect I am not too comfortable with. I hope she doesn’t sit all day with her eyes glued to the TV. Running the home and domestic staff is enough work. She should be in charge and give directions. She should see her home as her company and run it well.”
Ugonna Ochuba notes that if the man can afford it, it should not be an issue: “He did all that for her and it has not generated any problems in the home. As long as he comes home to a well-rested and fresh wife and not one worn out with work in the office, it shouldn’t be anyone’s problem. If both husband and wife are happy that is all that matters.”
Facing reality is what should matter in this circumstance says Uchechi Lilian: “Let’s forget the comforts and face reality. One might be rich today but have we really thought about tomorrow? I pray to have a good husband but not a careless one. I believe this husband is careless because he is not looking at the future of his family when he is not there tomorrow.
“Establishing his wife will be of great deal to the family and it would greatly benefit them. Let her prepare your food and do your washing at least that will be her own way of showing you care not being a house wife watching Telemundo and waiting for you to come back for sex and get ready to take in and give birth. To be sincere, this is not marriage because time will come when you will get tired of paying the maids by then she will be so weak to do something reasonable for the family.”
Adewumi Adeleke says it is a potential danger waiting to explode: “This is dangerous for the children and himself.  If the situation changes tomorrow what will happen. I am not saying he should not pamper her but let her know how to take care of you and her children with the assistance of the maids not leaving everything for the maids to do; those maids are also human too. This isn’t the real life we only see such things in movies. I advise he comes back to reality and live in one too.”
For Salma Ibrahim: “There’s nothing wrong with making life comfortable for her but what happens when it’s no longer rosy is that when she will start learning how to sustain herself and family? Nothing is permanent in this life. Get a source of income for her where you guys can always fall back on. Encourage her to be independent.”
Oluwatomi Deborah Abraham says a woman earning an income is productive and proactive: “She will value the stress her husband goes through and manage his income better and in case of fatality can bounce back easily. It is stupidity to leave your life to chance. Nothing lasts forever, even in life there is rainy and dry seasons. Protect your home against the storms of life.”
Maryam Abubakar Hassan, speaking from experience says: “You should come ask my dad who was a top shot in the country but an early retirement allowed him face the realities of life. Life is not always this straight-forward so let your wife develop a sense of independence. It is really not about the money she makes but the sense of independence. I was in his children’s shoes years back and can confidently say a change in economic and social status can be quite emotional if you and your partner do not have a safety net. All these are the vanities of life and nothing more.”
Everyone is free to show love to his/her partner in whatever way they want to. Many might argue that there’s everything wrong with this arrangement, though he never said he doesn’t have plans for his family. So we cannot conclude that he hasn’t made any arrangements in terms of securing their future. Notwithstanding all said, the husband needs to understand that a driver and a maid are okay, but he needs to get his wife involved with the running of the home and taking care of the kids.
Has he thought about the future? What if you can’t provide anymore or if you leave her a limited inheritance, can she manage and grow your investments? He is only fanning a little fire now. And believe me it will grow into a wild fire you might not be able to control. It wouldn’t have been an issue if she was an independent woman who was always busy but a house-wife with maids and drivers for all occasions and purposes isn’t really helping her in any way. Not now and surely not in the future.