Is punishment the antidote to bad grades?

Schools have resumed for a new term, and every parent’s advice to their kids is to make sure they focus on their studies so as to enable them come out in flying colours in their final examinations.Do you punish your kids for getting bad grades? If this question was asked in an examination it would […]

Schools have resumed for a new term, and every parent’s advice to their kids is to make sure they focus on their studies so as to enable them come out in flying colours in their final examinations.Do you punish your kids for getting bad grades? If this question was asked in an examination it would not be surprising that the answer would be an overwhelming yes.
Many parents believe that punishing or beating a child when he or she scores low grades is the antidote to the contentious problem. When bad grades occur we tend to forget that there is a role that discipline and other factors play in the situation. Womanhood sought the opinions of some parents on the issue.
Mrs Remi Adewunmi says sometimes parents transfer aggression from their personal problems on their kids: “We all forget that we were once kids and had issues too with our studies. We are not all born to be geniuses. Nigerian parents only want to see good grades notwithstanding how you go about getting them. That is why we have children paying their way to success these days because they want to have a good result to present to their parents.When a child comes with a bad grade, as parents we should sit the child down and ask why he got such a result and not resort to beating the child immediately. That has not and will never bring about a better result.”
Discipline should be done with love and not out of frustration, irritation or transferred aggression from your spouse or boss, which the child ends up being the victim if he presents a bad result.
Matilda Mutale, a mother of three, is of the opinion that it depends on the attitude of the child: “If the child is one that is remorseful about his grades and is willing to take to correction then there is absolutely no need to punish that child. Instead, the child should be encouraged to work harder. Then as a parent we should try to put in some extra lessons to help the child. Punishment and torture in the form of beating will only disturb the kids more and this might even make them lose interest in education.”
Mr Daniel Paul, a civil servant, says as parents there is the need to put restriction to serve as punishment for bringing in a bad result: “In my house if you bring a bad result you are sure not to have access to the television throughout your holiday and not only that, but also some privileges like outings and special treats would be denied that child. This is the only way the child gets to understand that without hard work he/she cannot enjoy the good things of life. So if he wants to get back his privileges then he has to work harder and bring a better result next time.”
.Folashade Junaid says if the child is putting in efforts she will encourage him/her if not it is punishment all the way:“It depends on the situation of the child, if I see that he is putting in efforts and it’s still a bit difficult for him I will encourage him by telling him that he can still do better but if I notice that it is only with the cane that he brings in good grades then it is going to be the hard way all the way for such a child because Mama’s cane will always be handy to smack him back to brilliance. Don’t see it as wickedness as some children only understand the hard way.”
Mercy Kpnaja Okon says punishment has never resulted in anything good:“Why should I beat or punish the child? No child would deliberately want to bring in a bad result, they all want to be tops in their class. Even if the child brings in a good result, I will commend them for their efforts and reassure them that they could do better if they work harder. I make a follow up by assisting them at home with school work and even having a chat with his teacher to know the actual problem my child might be facing.
“Punishing them only makes them lose confidence in themselves, even the ones they were confident of before instantly flies out of their brain when we torture then. Encourage them and you will be surprised that you will soon see the best manifesting in them.”
Jemima Johnson interestingly says the whole problem boils down to culture, stressing that the African child learns the hard way: “Yes, the African child learns the hard way. We need to start training them from a tender age that life is not easy. Whatever we wish to reap in future we need to sow it now, and properly. If we do  not do this, one day in future the children will ask us what efforts we put in when they were young to make them better people. If you think I am joking just sit and watch your child continue to churn in bad results and you just sit and do nothing.  As for me I will shout, beat and restrict and enjoy a better child in future.”
Mark Raymond says there is actually no need for beating and punishment: “All parents need to do is to talk and let them know the importance of education now and in the future. It will make the child more confused. I once did such with my daughter and I noticed that she couldn’t answer any question including the ones she knew. She was scared that I would punish her if she said the wrong answer; she began to detest study time and that wasn’t what I wanted for my child. Encouragement is the only positive way to respond to bad grades. Trust me, it works.”
Hannah Mona says it is best for parents to first sit down and do all revision with the child, after that every silly mistake should be greeted with a stroke of the cane, but that if the examinationis challenging, then encouragement and support needs to be actively used.
Adaugo Agbo on the other hand says: “I remember when I was in primary one, first term I came 6th, second term I came 11th and I got the flogging of my life. From the next term till I left primary school I always came second in class and I think the person who always took the first position was also under threat from his parents at home.”
Before stressing yourself over an inconsistent report card, consider whether the grades reflect your child’s strengths. Grades might not be a big deal as long as your child is making progress and can express himself/herself in the midst of his/her peers.
Parents should avoid negativity. You can be upset but never call them a failure. Such degrading remarks can hurt. Remember it is just a bad grade and not a bad child. Don’t forget that you are also killing the self-esteem of the child by your negative words.
Parents can work out a plan with their children to get back on track.This can be achieved by talking with your child, the teacher and also yourself, in terms that you are setting realistic expectations for your child and not over evaluating him/her.
The issue of punishment should be treated with caution if you feel necessary. Make sure it is not too extreme however. Taking away phone, TV, or computer privileges is always an option.Most importantly, every child is different. Not every child can excel in all areas so as parents we should learn to accept our children the way they are and not compare them to others.