1,000 Kano widows, divorcees to wed
Plans by the Kano State government to give out 1,000 divorcees and widows in marriage is creating frenzied of interest from men It is billed to be Kano’s biggest wedding ever, as 1,000 grooms will be smiling home with new brides. And for added effect, the highly respected Emir of Kano, Alhaji Ado Bayero […]
Plans by the Kano State government to give out 1,000 divorcees and widows in marriage is creating frenzied of interest from men
It is billed to be Kano’s biggest wedding ever, as 1,000 grooms will be smiling home with new brides. And for added effect, the highly respected Emir of Kano, Alhaji Ado Bayero will be giving out the brides while Kano State governor, Alhaji Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso will be standing in for the grooms.
The impending marriage had set Kano agog as a jostle has begun to win the hands of the damsels in marriage. While some will say the grooms are not so lucky because they are all either divorcees or widows who are making another chance at finding marital happiness, it probably feels so good to the ladies to once more discover that they have become the recipients of such attention from men after years of being single.
Interestingly, not only Kano residents showed interest in the arranged marriages but those from neighbouring states have also been trooping to the Hisbah Board, the Kano State agency that oversees decent behavior in the society, to take advantage of the opportunity. Nazifi Mohammed, 30, came all the way from Lere in Kaduna State in search of a wife. He told Weekly Trust that his ambition is to get a beautiful, fair and tall lady in her early twenties. “When I heard of the development, I felt it was a welcome development and it came to my mind that that might be a wonderful opportunity for me to get a life partner and that is why I am here all the way from Lere with the hope of getting an obedient life partner.”
Mohammed scoffs at concerns expressed in some quarters that the couples to be joined together in marriage hardly know each other saying, “My perception of the planned marriage is that since it is done with the purpose of addressing the issue of increasing number of divorcees and undisciplined children due to broken homes, the women in this planned marriage must have been coached on the best ways to stay in matrimony. So, I am optimistic that things will work out fine.” Asked whether he will treat his bride well if he is married to one of the ladies he exclaimed, “Why not? I feel it is even more secure than for one to marry on his own where the woman may be disobedient or even insult one whenever there is a little misunderstanding.”
Kano, like most states in the north, has high divorce rates, a phenomenon that had given rise to increase in the number of women who are single and with no-one to look after them. The Kano Hisbah Board came up with the idea as a way of checking the break out of immorality, as the women, most of whom lack skills to take up paid employment, are left to resort to desperate means to survive. In addition, children of widows are left without care and children from broken homes become open to vices. The Kano State government will foot all expenses for the proposed marriages and also empower the women.
While Mohammed aspires to get a pretty, fair woman from the match-making, 34-year-old Abdurrahman Alhassan from Zaria said he had a bitter experience of matrimony in the past and is prayerful that this will be a better chance for him to get the wife of his dreams. “I initially sourced for and got married to my ex-wife but it was a bitter experience,” says Alhassan. “What was contracted out of love and affection turned into hatred and our 18-months-old marriage broke. Since then, I have been scared of even talking to women but I feel this could be a chance for me to get my dream wife. All I am praying for is to have that religious woman who will conduct herself based on the dictates of Islam and I believe I will succeed with prayers.”
Since the Kano State government made public its intention to marry off 1,000 divorcees, many men had registered their interest in fulfilling long-dreamt-of romantic expectations, just like Mohammed and Alhassan. The Hisbah Board’s initiative was a response to the agitation of an NGO, Voice of Widows, Orphans and Divorcees Association of Nigeria (VOWAN) on the increasing number of divorcees and its attendant consequences on the society.
Tracing the genesis of the planned marriage, the Director-General, Kano State Hisbah Board, Malam Abba Sa’idu Sufi says the need for the marriages came up in reaction to the alarming rate of divorce in the state. “VOWAN as an organization threatened a one-million march protest on the fact that men do not seek the hand of the divorcees in marriage, creating problems for vulnerable women with no one to take care of them,” he said.
The Director-General, who spoke through the spokesperson of the board, Musa Tanko adds, “We at Hisbah also established that most cases brought before us are matrimonial or are results of consequences of broken homes. It was based on these and other factors that the state government brought together all stakeholders to work out best ways to solving the problem and after deliberations, the idea of marrying off 1,000 divorcees and widows came up. Now we are on track to marry off the first batch to be contracted by the end of April.”
Weekly Trust gathered that at least 2,000 men have turned up to indicate their interest in the planned wedding where 248 men and 124 women out of the thousands that registered have been screened as at Wednesday last week. The screening is done by making the intending men and divorcees answer a 30-question form which includes their bio data and other relevant information. Most of the men, Weekly Trust gathered, are family men with ages ranging from early twenties up to those in their eighties. The ages of the women varies from those in their early twenties up to those in their sixties.
Chairman of the screening committee Malam Auwalu Ubaidullah spoke on the progress they have recorded so far. “We have screened up to 400 men and we are doing our best to conclude all formalities before the proposed date of the wedding fatiha which hopefully will take place at the end of this month,” he said. “The turnout is really overwhelming and therefore we are doing our best to see that all formalities are concluded before the end of the month, we are even planning to work during the Easter break in order to hasten the process and get the first batch of the marriages done by the stipulated time of the marriage.”
One of the hopeful grooms that have gathered the most attention is an 85-year-old man who also came for screening with the hope of finding a wife. Malam Ubaidullah said of him, “I can remember I had to help him sit on the chair because he was very weak and tired. He told us that he lost his old wife some years back and doesn’t have any child or relative, all he wants, he said, was to get a companion, someone to support him and live with him in case he needs help, especially considering his age. He said he wouldn’t want to die a single man.”
The potential spouses, Weekly Trust learnt have already started matching themselves. A number of them come up to say they met at the screening venue and found themselves befitting for each other. “In such cases, we feel our work has been made easy,” says Mallam Ubaidulah. “All we do is staple their forms together so that once they go through the blood test and other medical check-ups, they only await the wedding fatihah. More interesting is the way some of the intending spouses disclose their HIV status and that way, we will create a kind of forum for acquaintance between the people of same status and they can make their choices among themselves.”
The 85-year-old man is seen as a likely match for 65-year-old Hauwa Isma’il whom everyone in the committee was skeptical about her chances of getting a groom considering the fact that the men in most instances go for younger women. “God in his mercy, the old man in search for a companion might end up with the 65-year-old woman who also came for screening,” says Ubaidullahi. He says, “As for others, we are going to give them the free will to match themselves during a seminar session we are going to organise before the actual marriage is done. But even now, many of them see themselves and get acquaintances when they come for screening. We have in fact already started stapling their forms together since they have shown interest and intend to marry.”
For VOWAN, the development shouldn’t just stop at arranging marriages for divorcees and widows but also be backed up with concrete laws that will ensure sustainability of the marriages and responsibility on the part of all the parties involved. Hajiya Altine Abdullahi is the National President of the organization, she says, “What we want is for marriages to be backed up with concrete and enforceable laws that will guarantee sustainability. Let the law provide that divorce be more expensive than the wedding itself and all marriages should be certified before a court of law.”
Altine says, “The law should ensure that couples obtain a certificate before a Shari’ah court and when divorce becomes the last option in settling any problem between the couples, the fine for the divorce should be made more expensive than the cost of dowry. For instance, if the dowry is N10, 000, the fine for divorce should be up to N250, 000.”
Asked if she would be getting married too in the planned ceremony considering that she too is a divorcee Altine says she and other officials of her organization have since registered and if they find befitting husbands among the suitors, they will also be part of the planned marriages. Presently, VOWAN has registered 100 divorcees and widows in the scheme.
Jamila Haruna is an official of VOWAN and has also turned up to register under the planned marriage program and have been screened. She spoke on ways they are trying to ensure sustainability in the marriages saying, “Apart from the screening by Hisbah board, VOWAN has also initiated a training program for women where they are taught best ways to treat their husbands and sustain their marriages. During the training sessions, issues of obedience, cleanliness, self respect and entrepreneurship are emphasised.
Jamila added: “One thing we have noticed is the attitude of women towards sustaining marriages has improved. Now most of the problems lie with the men, most of them find it difficult to adjust when their wives try to initiate ways of expressing their love to them and try to make the home a happy one. I have heard of a man who beat up his wife for hugging him when he came back home, he said she was behaving like a prostitute. So I think more has to be done on the part of men for the aim of the marriages to be achieved.” If you listen well, you’ll probably hear a thousand brides-to-be chorusing “Amen!”