The new temptation

‘I went back to my room to do my Qur’an recitation but the moment I finished, my doubts came back. Did he tell me the truth? Everything I read in those WhatsApp messages tells me the contrary. In the end I decided to see you and discuss. What do you think Aunty Bint?’ My niece […]

‘I went back to my room to do my Qur’an recitation but the moment I finished, my doubts came back. Did he tell me the truth? Everything I read in those WhatsApp messages tells me the contrary. In the end I decided to see you and discuss. What do you think Aunty Bint?’ My niece Laila asked.
‘I think you should believe him.’ I replied cautiously.
‘But why Aunty, what did he say that was convincing enough to make me forget what I saw? I mean looking back on it, I realized that it’s not possible to share the kind of lewd and licentious texts he and Sweetie were sharing if they only ran into each other at the airport, after having worked together a long time ago. People have to be particularly close and familiar with each other to be able to confidently share such correspondence without shame.’ She alleged.
‘Well you have to remember that you have no proof of what you are thinking while on the other hand he has given you a plausible explanation. That should count more than your doubts and suspicions.’ I urged.
‘A plausible explanation? You call that Sweetie theory plausible? Haba
 Aunty, what kind of a colleague gets to be called Sweetie by all her co-workers and for what reason? It just doesn’t add up.’ She argued.
‘Maybe it doesn’t but remember what the ancient Muslim sage quoted in Imam Ghazali’sIhya said. He advised that you should give 70 excuses for your brother’s behavior before you finally accuse him of wrongdoing. From what I’ve seen you are not even ready to give your  husband a single excuse even though he had tried to defend himself.’ I accused.
‘I may be willing to make excuses for Habu in order to believe him but what if I see something again? It will devastate me.’ Laila emphasized.
‘Well then keep away from his telephone. No matter how tempting it is, don’t touch it. Even if it happened like the last time when a message came in while you were trying to put it off.  Go ahead and put it off.
Prevent yourself from any more heartache please.’ I advised.
‘I will try Aunty but even if I keep away from checking his phone and have no idea whether those tempting messages are still coming, how can I help the situation if he continues to drift towards immorality? I mean Sweetie sounded like a real temptress, you need to see her messages to him. And the few friends I’d spoken to before coming here all told me that they have seen similar messages in their husbands’ WhatsApp and BBM. It seems to be a growing epidemic and if we don’t monitor them how will we know how far they’ve gone?’ Laila insisted, finally sitting down on the chair opposite mine.
‘Are you sure your friends were telling you the truth? You know some people make up stories just to make you feel that you are not alone.’ I queried.
‘They were telling me the truth, in fact all of them had forwarded some of the lewd messages their husbands shared with strange women to their own phones. I saw stuff very similar to the ones Habu had been receiving in my friends’ phones. And who knows, may be if you were to check Uncle Tahir’s phone you just might see one or too. Don’t get me wrong Aunty, I’m not trying to say that he will be replying them like Habu but he might have received such messages from women who want to ensnare him.’ She offered.
‘You may be right but you know what, I save myself that needless heartache by keeping well away from Tahir’s mobile phones. From the early days of GSM to date, I never felt the temptation to pick his phone and check anything. Many of my friends who were into phone-checking got more than they bargained for. In those days it was just the text messages yet some were so devastating they got my friends into emotional and mental crisis.
One of them actually swooned after reading what she saw. It was that bad. But apart from the pain and heart break they got at the end of their snooping nothing positive was achieved. You know, they will usually confront their husbands and up quarreling; then cry out their hearts over the pain of betrayal and lastly continue with their lives but on a shattered platform. This is why I don’t find it particularly worthwhile to snoop in the first place. In any case the Holy Qur’an specifically warns us not to suspect one another and not to spy on one another, so I try to abide by that.’ I explained.
‘Huh, its not as easy as you are making it sound Aunty Bint. I mean maybe it was easy for you because you are determined not to court any heartache but I have already courted it and have seen what he is capable of doing, how can I overcome the need to know more? And with so many desperate, unmarried women out there hoping to clinch a happily married man, how can we tell that they won’t drag our men into sin without them realizing it?’ Laila wailed.
‘Yes you have a point there. I think what we will need to do is to make it a subject of public discourse. Let us send word to the imams in our local and juma’ah mosques to talk to their congregation about this new temptation called social media. We will write to them with our ‘Ladies Parliament’ letterhead and urge them to make special lectures/sermons on the issue. We will ask them to remind men that Rasulillah SAW had said that there are three lower stages of adultery which include adultery of the eyes, that of the mouth and that of the heart. That of the eyes happens when we allow ourselves to view forbidden things, that is why we are encouraged to lower our gaze.
That of the mouth is when we utter forbidden things, either verbally or in writing which can lead to sin, like these text messages and images. And adultery of the heart is when you harbour forbidden thoughts and desires towards someone. Now these three are the lower stages but they are harbingers and pathways to the real thing. So we must avoid them. In any case the warning from the holy Qur’an is ‘Go not near adultery.’ These sharing of lewd and graphic messages is nothing but a glide towards adultery, our men must be weaned off them.’ I declared.
‘Yes Aunty Bint, I like this proactive approach. I hope it works. But additionally, they must be made to understand that any woman who can share such crude messages with a male friend or suitor is immoral and will very likely share it with other men, in a bid to entice them.
Husbands must be reminded that shyness is a virtue to be cherished in a wife so when a woman loses all that and is willing to share some shameless messages with strange men, then they should avoid her like the plague because there is no telling what else she can do in her shamelessness.’ Laila argued, passionately.
‘That is true Laila, we will include all these arguments and then remind men to remember that Allah SWT sees them at all times, so even if their wives don’t see them, for sure their All-seeing Lord does.’ I agreed.
‘Let’s just hope that the imams will be willing to lecture well on this burning issue.’ Laila observed, skeptically.
‘Of course they will, what have they got to lose?’ I wondered aloud. ‘If some of them are into these kinds of relationships, they may not be keen to speak against it.’ She replied.
‘Oh poor, heartbroken and doubtful Laila.’ I said laughing at my niece. ‘Sweetie has so destroyed your faith in men that you can’t even
trust the imams. But don’t worry, if the imams fail, we will organise lectures and print handbills in order to get our message across.
InshaAllah we will salvage your Habu and others like him from the jaws of Sweetie and Co, trust me.’ I assured her.
Concluded.