365 days in a year

You are welcome Aunty. I also agonised over what to bring to you as Ramadan greetings because there is so much that Uncle Tahir doesn’t eat and one has to be careful not to bring one of those processed contrabands. Then I remembered fruits and said to myself well that’s one thing nobody turns down […]

You are welcome Aunty. I also agonised over what to bring to you as Ramadan greetings because there is so much that Uncle Tahir doesn’t eat and one has to be careful not to bring one of those processed contrabands. Then I remembered fruits and said to myself well that’s one thing nobody turns down in this house, so I rushed and arranged this mini-basket.’ Mariya explained.

‘How very thoughtful of you, Jazakillah khairan. Your uncle isn’t back from work but he’ll surely appreciate this gift when he comes. The children are on school holiday aren’t they, why didn’t you come along with them?’ I asked her.

‘I have a few other things to do including going to the tailor’s for their Sallah clothes. That’s why I didn’t bring them along. They’ll be a distraction.’ She explained, rising up from her chair.

‘Yes it’s that time of the year when the tailors are kings. Good luck with them. For all you know those clothes may not be ready and you’ ll have to make your way to their shops again.’ I warned.

‘I am already prepared for that Aunty, I‘ve been their victim for years. But do you know the irony of it all? There is nothing there for me. I mean every year I toil up and down to ensure that Sallah clothes are sewn but not one of them is for me.’ Mariya complained.

‘Not one for you, why not?’ I asked

‘Because my husband doesn’t believe in it or so he claims.’ She responded.

‘I don’t understand, what does it take to believe in making new clothes to celebrate the Eid?’ I enquired.

‘Well he claims that it is a childish thing to demand Sallah clothes. And so I should outgrow it by now.’ Mariya replied.

‘Oh I see you are talking about that ‘you are too old to need Sallah clothes excuse’ I had been through that with your uncle. Usually it means they don’t have enough to buy yours so you should act matured and understand but somehow they don’t put it so eloquently.’ I explained.

‘You mean there was a time when Uncle Tahir wasn’t buying your Sallah clothes?’ she asked incredulously.

‘Yes, in fact for years after our marriage he will say that I didn’t need Sallah clothes because I had enough clothes, then the excuse became that I was an adult and didn’t need to wear something new on Eid day. Then if I complained he will say since I earn my own money why don’t I just buy for myself.     And that went on for years. But when he felt he could afford it he began to give even before I asked for it. That was how I got to understand that he was only using those excuses then because he couldn’t afford to buy my clothes. And because luckily enough I could afford to I continued to buy for myself. Today it’s an entirely different story.’ I concluded.

‘But it isn’t fair Anti Bint, Almighty God asked them to feed, house and cloth us. How can they be short changing us under whatever excuse? Personally I think I deserve Sallah clothes no matter what I earn. After all it’s all I ask for after giving him true love 365 days in a year, is it too much to ask?’ she asked rhetorically.

‘No it isn’t dear Anita Baker. But men will be men no matter what the religious injunction is. And in many ways we have to be grateful if they can only meet the real obligatory duties and ignore them for failing us in the supererogatory ones. So learn from me, buy yourself Sallah clothes and any other clothes for that matter as long as you can afford it. When the time comes that he can afford it without pressure he will gladly buy it I assure you.’ I said.

‘Do you think that time will ever come for me? I mean I have no reason to believe he isn’t doing it now because he can’t afford it, which means he just might not bother even if he gets more economically comfortable.’ Mariya insisted.

‘Take it from me Mariya, that time will come. You just need to be a little more patient and to appreciate his other efforts where the kids and your other bills are concerned. If it can happen in this house, be sure it can happen in yours. Just trust in him and do your best.’ I urged.