5 books in tribute for James Ocholi (SAN), Fatima Ocholi, Joshua Ocholi and their driver

The sun set on a Sunday afternoon for Barrister James Ocholi (SAN), his wife Fatima and his son Joshua Ocholi. Leaving home to participate in a church event at Kaduna, nothing prepared anyone for what happened next on their way back to Abuja. A tragic accident that claimed the life of all occupants of the […]

The sun set on a Sunday afternoon for Barrister James Ocholi (SAN), his wife Fatima and his son Joshua Ocholi. Leaving home to participate in a church event at Kaduna, nothing prepared anyone for what happened next on their way back to Abuja. A tragic accident that claimed the life of all occupants of the car. The story of mortal man, the way of every living being. Barrister Ocholi and I had many conversations once he became minister and one of them was about a handwritten congratulatory letter I sent him. “People still do that?” He was intrigued, Small gestures touched him as much as big ones and he was appreciative of everyone. 
He was a man whose brilliance shone through and yet he wore his faith and his religion like a second skin. In today’s world where it seems brilliance and faith do not go together, Ocholi maintained the heart of both and excelled in their balance. The passing of any individual is daunting for family and friends. The loss of three members of the same family along with their driver is tragic. We join family and friends of the late Ocholis in remembering them with fondness. May their souls rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Here is a collection to remember them by and to give those of us alive a time, a moment for sober reflection.

John Donne: Metaphysical poems. As a literature student in my A-Levels at Murtala College of Arts and Science Makurdi we were introduced to the metaphysical poets including John Donne whose poems I found particularly amazing. His poem on death lines speak directly to death in ways so profound, so thought provoking. Whenever I lose a dear one, I reference this poem which is well some kind of comfort. This sonnet written by John Donne captures his deep religious faith. His earlier poems were mainly based on romance. Here is the poem in full dedicated to Hon. Minister of state Ocholi, his devoted wife Fatima, his amiable son Joshua and their loyal driver.  
“Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.”

2) Chicken soup for the grieving soul: Stories about life, death and overcoming the loss of a loved one by Jack Carfield and Mark Victor Hansen. This is a book for which I am eternally grateful. This book a bestseller with its other chicken soup series have 100 million copies in print in over 47 languages. Each essay in this book is like cool water over an open sore when grieving. When my mum died, it was a valued book by my bedside. Every contributor touches you with their grief story in very many different ways. From the story of the young lady who saw her father off to a train station knowing she was seeing him for the last time, to the little boy who describes his late mum as changing her address since her new address is now in heaven, to a couple who had met at a funeral. This book will make us cry and make us smile a little through our grief. But more than anything else it will make us think and pray for our loved ones and for ourselves.

3) Paula by Isabelle Allende. This is the haunting story of the loss of a daughter by the Chilean writer Isabelle Allende. One day her daughter Paula was not feeling well, the next moment she was in coma. Before you could say Jack she was dead from a blood related disease. This book is the letter Isabelle Allende wrote to her dying daughter as she sat beside her day in day out. A book that tells us that life is transient and we should live everyday as if it were our last. Let us take stock of our lives, how good have you been to your neighbour? How many persons have you smiled at? How kind have you been? Thoughts as the Ocholi family members were buried this weekend.

4) The Holy books are extremely useful and highly desired at this time. Let us look at the Holy bible.
Matthew 5: 4  “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Romans 8:18  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
Psalm 34:18  “ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Lamentations 3:31-33 “For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.  Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.  For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.”
In times of grief Moslems look to the Holy Quran 2: 155-157 
“We will surely test you with something of fear and huger, and the loss of wealth and lives and the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say-when afflicted with calamity-“To God We belong, and to Him we shall return!”  They are on those whom descend blessings from their Lord, and Mercy.  Such are the rightly guided.”

5) Death be not proud by John Gunther chronicles Johnny Gunther’s gallant struggle against the malignant brain timor that killed his son at the age of seventeen. A beautiful book about the courage of his son Johnny. The heart of the book is a description of the agonised months during which Gunther and his former wife Frances struggled hard to halt the spread of Johnny’s cancer and to make him as comfortable as possible and as happy as possible. Throughout the entire book Johnny maintained his courage, wit and quiet friendliness up to the end of his life. He died on June 30, 1947, less than a month after graduating from school.