A different kind of valentine

I know, I know. February. The month of love. We are all supposed to let our “SO” (significant other) know how much they mean to us.  Dripping with red dresses, chocolate and teddy bears, the stores are banking on it. Before we even shared our Christmas love with our partner, retail outlets were already reminding […]

I know, I know. February. The month of love. We are all supposed to let our “SO” (significant other) know how much they mean to us.  Dripping with red dresses, chocolate and teddy bears, the stores are banking on it. Before we even shared our Christmas love with our partner, retail outlets were already reminding us of how we better “think ahead to Valentine’s Day” as if our Christmas offering would not suffice.
And, really, that’s all good and fine. Some couples thrive on surprises and giggle at the very mention of love coupons. I have no problem with that. In fact, good for you. There is something, though, that in my 48 years I have learned. Being in love is fun… and that feeling can take us places where we have never been. But no relationship is as important as the one you have with yourself.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Thanks Oprah.” But really, there are a few things that I have learned. You are your soul mate. You are the one you should spend most of your time energy and working on.
Loving yourself means saying “no.” I work in a field that is dominated by men, so every time there was something that needed to be done I was right there with the “yes.”  Here’s what saying yes to EVERYTHING does. It makes it so you can’t really master any one task. Saying no is an important part of taking care of and becoming the best YOU. When you are selective, you can truly give your “yes” your all.
Loving yourself means stepping back. This is the hardest thing for me. I am one of those obnoxious women who think that MY opinion is the most important. Ooh, ooh, I know, I know pick me, pick me! I have the answers to EVERYTHING. I have to actually say to myself, “Step back. W.W.J.O.D?” What would Jackie O do here? Would she jump in with HER voice or would she step back, sit back and listen? Being secure in your thoughts and not always voicing every one of them means being secured with you.
Loving yourself means not accepting the bad words that somebody who doesn’t love you wants to throw at you.  I had a boss one time take a step at me as he was yelling at me about something. He was a bully. I was scared, took a deep breath and at the end of it said, “You are just a guy I worked with… an occurrence in my life.” Nothing more. It instantly took his power away. Now, my family and those I love have the right to set me straight in that manner, not somebody who is not interested in my well-being.
And this one is a tough one for me- loving yourself means keeping your promises to others AND yourself. After all, if you can’t rely on you… who can? This means when you set a goal…(weight-loss, exercise, spending less) keep it. Make smaller goals, and the several little victories will add up!  Keeping your word means not being late, doing what you say, and following through.
So this St. Valentine’s day, when you are pondering a love coupon for your partner, be sure to plan one for the true love of your life too, You.