A guru comes to help

Almost no one around calls him by his real name. Instead, people call him Mai kahon karo, that is, the one with horns for fighting. He is not called Mai kahon karo for nothing. He had been involved in most of the toughest political contests around here and he had the special knack of salvaging […]

Almost no one around calls him by his real name. Instead, people call him Mai kahon karo, that is, the one with horns for fighting. He is not called Mai kahon karo for nothing. He had been involved in most of the toughest political contests around here and he had the special knack of salvaging victory from the jaws of defeat. Many politicians who were not given a dog’s chance when they went into the contest had their fortunes turned around by Mai kaho. He knows everyone around and everyone knows him. They said he acquired his near invincible standing in the local politics of Tsibiri Local Government because of a combination of qualities. Number one, he is indefatigable. He is always on the move, from one occasion to another. He does not miss any marriage or naming ceremony and he never misses the chance to go and condole with anyone who lost someone. They said there is no day that he does not go to the hospital to visit a sick person. 
Mai kaho also gives away everything he gets. They say that money leaves his hands the way water passes through a sieve. All the money he gets through his elaborate political connections, he immediately shares it out to youths by the street corners, touts, small traders and even women of easy virtue. As soon as they see his red Volkswagen Golf approaching, youths will abandon street corners and rush to him, and soon you see naira notes flying through the window. Quite often he does not have a kobo by the time he reaches his own home, but that is how he has maintained his invincible political standing. He has no other trade but politics. Even during the days of the military when all the politicians went underground and were pursuing various businesses, Mai kaho was still politicking. The people of surrounding villages say that when you have a naming ceremony in your house, Mai kaho will arrive before you. When you open your door in the morning, you will find him sitting there, like a ghost. 
The man he came with to my house, Malam Isa, preferred to sit on the floor. He said that he has back pains and he does not like sitting in a cushion chair, that he would rather sit on the carpet and lean his back on a chair. Malam Isa also has a nickname. They call him Isa tsinin kusa, that is, Isa the sharp point of a nail. I don’t know why they gave him that nickname. All I hear is that he is Mai kahon karo’s top sidekick. They are always together. I also noticed that whatever Mai kaho does, Isa will do. They drank the zobo drink that my wife brought; they took a bite at apples but they did not touch the food. They said they were coming from another house where they ate lunch. Both of them also chewed kola nut. Both of them also asked me if they can smoke in my parlour. Even though I stopped smoking many years ago and these days I don’t even like cigarette smoke, I told them it was okay to smoke. Mai kaho brought out a packet of Benson and Hedges while Isa brought out a pack of Rothmans. Smoke quickly filled my parlour.
We had finished exchanging pleasantries and it was now time to talk. So I said, “Mai kahon karo, I invited you to my house today in order to seek your help with my political aspiration. It is God that helps people but it is also you that can help me realize this ambition. When I decided to enter politics, people told me that in this Tsibiri Local Government, no one knows politics better than you. That is why I am seeking your help. My promise to you is that during this campaign and also when our dream is fulfilled, you will never regret supporting me.”
The eyes of Mai kahon karo appeared to be closed all the time I was talking. I even thought he had dozed off. But as soon as I reached a full stop, he sat up and wringed his hands. He said, “Alhaji, you are my brother. You are my brother not because of your own conduct and not because you took us to be your brothers during your years in the civil service. If it is because of that one, maybe we will not even respond to this invitation to come to your house. But Malam Isa and I, we don’t do our things because of anything recent, no. We do our things because of the old ties of blood and kinship and compassion and kindness and affection that were invented and nurtured and bred and upheld and purified and perfected in this community by the men and women of old, may Allah have mercy on their departed souls.”
He continued, “If it because of the habits of the people of nowadays, I will never deprive my eyes of sleep and ran around helping people to fulfill their aspirations. I will never do that! However, I am not the person who will allow an act of kindness done to my grandfather or my great grandfather by anyone’s grandfather to go without repayment. Never! When your grandfather was alive in this community his kindness and compassion knew no bounds, and all our parents and grandparents were beneficiaries of his boundless generousity. So if today his grandson says he wants something, we must stand up and pursue it until our energy is exhausted.” 
“We are not going to do this because of money or because of what we may get when you get this office, no. Far from it. We are going to do this task in order to honour the memory of our grandparents and to please them in their graves by upholding and continuing with the dignity, the honour, the sincerity and the spirit of being your brother’s keeper that they taught us. That is why we are going to do this work.”