A hoodwinking wife

‘Stunning Bint, you look stunning in this new dress.‘ He answered raising his eyes from his Ipad. Moving from the centre of the room to his side on the bed, I stopped right there and said: ‘Thanks hubby dearest I went to great lengths to sew it, l’m glad you like it.’ I said giving […]

‘Stunning Bint, you look stunning in this new dress.‘ He answered raising his eyes from his Ipad. Moving from the centre of the room to his side on the bed, I stopped right there and said:

‘Thanks hubby dearest I went to great lengths to sew it, l’m glad you like it.’ I said giving him a peck on the cheek.

‘Yes I do, though I can’t help feeling that the frills and frippery is a bit too much for you. Wouldn’t these extra designs better on Ummi and co?’ he observed.

‘No, certainly not on Ummi and co. This, my dear, is a bridal outfit. It is an item I saw in Ovation magazine when a young lady got married to her heartthrob recently. I told my tailor to dub it so that I too can pose for my heartthrob.’ I explained.

‘But that’s the point Bint. I think it’s too bridal for you. A bride of almost 20 years can’t possibly be comfortable in this top-fashion item.’ Tahir responded.

‘Well, you know the saying- if you always look like a bride you just might end up with an eternal groom.’ I said.

‘Really? I have never heard this saying before.’ He replied.

‘May be you haven’t, remember there’s a first time to everything. And it’s quite possible that this saying just originated right here in this room.’ I declared.

‘It figures, now if the fashion parade is over I have a deadline to beat so I have to get back to work.’ He said pointing at the page on his Ipad.

‘’Yes, fashion parade is over, but can you spare me a few minutes before you return to your work?’ I asked, finally sitting opposite him on the bed.

‘Yes, why not?’ he answered.

‘if I were to try so hard in my role as your wife that you hardly find anything to complain about and you find yourself always happy in this house, will you think that’s natural?’ I asked.

‘Of course, that will be the most natural thing in the world. But I can’t afford to hope that high can I?’ Tahir asked, his mischievous grin at play.

‘Sure you can afford to. Am I not trying hard enough already?’ I grinned back. ‘However the problem is that some men believe it’s not natural when you find no fault in your wife. The other day, my niece Asiya came here with bloodshot eyes. Her husband had been told by a friend that it wasn’t normal that he saw nothing bad in her. That if Abdul believed Asiya was perfect and he had no reason to complain, then she must have charmed him, you know by using supernatural means, into believing so.’ I explained.

‘And did he believe that?’

‘Yes, he did. He believed it so much that when he was given an antidote to her supernatural charms, he agreed to use. Asiya returned from dropping the children at school to see him sprinkling some brown powder all over the house. When she asked why he said it was for protection against jinns and other sources of evil. She believed his explanation and just went her own way. But later that evening, she overheard him saying to someone how he was looking forward to the day his antidote will break her charms, so he could deal with her.’ I concluded.

‘By God this is shocking. What did she do then?’ Tahir asked amazed.

‘She went to her room to absorb the shock before she walked over to his room and told him that she had heard everything. He had the grace to deny it at first, then he gave in and admitted that he was indeed talking about her on phone. Abdul explained that the normal thing at their chat joint was for men to complain about their wives. Most of them describe their wives as nothing other than necessary irritants, but he never seemed to have a reason to complain. Apparently one of them had noticed, so he called him aside and said it wasn’t natural for him to be entirely happy with his wife. That whenever a man sees his wife like an angel then she had to have charmed him. This man offered him that antidote to break, so to speak, her charms. ’ I responded.

‘I would have found this hard to believe, if I hadn’t been a living witness to Asabe and Mansur’s divorce saga.‘  Tahir said adjusting his pillow to support his back on the bed headrest. ‘You know it’s more or less the same thing. The only difference being that Mansur went on his own to seers who told him that Asabe was behind his political and financial woes, while Abdul was apparently confronted by a ‘Good Samaritan’ who wanted to save him from a hoodwinking wife. What I can’t understand is how someone can walk up to you and say things about a person whom you know better, and yet you will choose to believe what this total stranger had to say about someone he never met. Personally, I think if there is anyone using charms it has to be these same people who are accusing others. I mean imagine how easily they wreak havoc in the society. It’s just not natural. ’ he added.

‘Yes, I feel the same way too. I’ve always told Asabe that those spiritualists who told Mansur to divorce her must have taken full control of his thinking faculty before they even made their prescription. If not how could he resort to a thrice-pronounced irrevocable divorce, without trying any of the rules of marital conflict management prescribed in Islam? Now look at the result, seven innocent children are products of a broken home, the two of them are lonely, unhappy adults. Tell me who would choose such a future if he wasn’t under a spell of sorts.’ I argued.

‘It really doesn’t make sense how easily they convince their victims. So what did you advice Asiya to do when she came here crying?’ he asked.

‘Alhamdulillah Asiya is a learned young lady, who is also equipped with a convincing tongue. She actually solved her problem before coming here. She told Abdul that she has never believed nor patronised seers and spiritualists. She said she know that in Islam, who ever patronised them has lost forty days of worship as a result, so she would never compromise her spiritual achievement for anything in the world, adding that she always resorted to intense personal prayers to solve any problem in her life. Abdul accepted her defence, apologised for the heartache he caused her and immediately resolved to throw away the remaining powder and boycott their chat joint. She only came here because she wanted to share the pain of betrayal she felt and also to discuss her worry that it could happen again if he were to meet another evil-minded adviser.  So I urged her to stop worrying and leave everything to Almighty God. I also said she should continue praying hard for protection against all evil.’

‘That’s a good advice. If I were in a position to, I’d ban all spiritualists and seers from practicing in this country. They are causing too much unhappiness to innocent people. ‘Tahir declared.

‘Well thank God you are not in a position to, because while that will not entirely stop them it will only send them underground and make them more expensive.’ I said.

‘Bint, what do you know about the operations of seers and what they cost?’ He asked in alarm. ‘Are you admitting something?’

‘I am not admitting anything and you know it. It’s simple commonsense to know that when you ban something certain some people can’t do without, it goes underground and becomes big business for the vendors. However, if I were ever into this unholy business you would have known by now. And if my niece can so categorically reject the practice on the grounds of its spiritual danger, you must know that this philosophy runs in the family.’ I defended.

‘Cool down Bint, just pulling your legs. I’m sure that if you are to ever cast a spell on me, it will be through your lovely bridal dresses and other hush-hush romantic skills, it wouldn’t be the result of supernatural charms.’ He answered with a smile.

‘Thanks so much, for this vote of confidence.’ I replied, smiling back.