A long path to Kanuri traditional marriage
Every memorable human act is not without a reason and the Kanuri traditional marriage is not an exception. Dr. Bulama Mali Gubio, a custodian of Kanuri traditional heritage sums it thus: “we marry to enhance our race, sustain mental peace, love and affection and promote unity among extended families, because our culture abhors immorality, especially […]
Every memorable human act is not without a reason and the Kanuri traditional marriage is not an exception. Dr. Bulama Mali Gubio, a custodian of Kanuri traditional heritage sums it thus: “we marry to enhance our race, sustain mental peace, love and affection and promote unity among extended families, because our culture abhors immorality, especially among the female. And all these aim at fulfilling Islamic obligations of keeping faith and sustaining legal family system towards ensuring chastity and promoting moral excellence.”
Interestingly, the Kanuri marriage process begins with Rawo – the process of falling in love. Yes, love! Surprised? They employ variety of ability testing processes like Askil (traditional dance between young people where girls clap and boys dance vigorously to show their physical fitness); nguwa, traditional wrestling to display physical power; Kadi, tracing of the footsteps of thieves to retrieve stolen items, an indication of a young man’s capability to defend his people; Surwa, collective free labour to help members build houses, till and cultivate farmlands; Ngmur, (sallah festivities); Sawaram, coming together of the bride’s and groom’s friends to engage in ceremonial performances; Zuwu, Qur’anic school graduation ceremony; and Kasuwu, weekly market days to impress the family of a chosen loved one.
Ra’aski, the act of ‘being in love’ is next where gifts like clothes and cosmetics are sent through a delegation. The process is called ‘Gawo’ meaning, formal presentation of the boy to the girl and leads to Kworo, where the official consent of the girl is sought. A delegation of dignitaries comprising men and women visit the girl’s family, and they in turn wait to receive the visitors. Kola nuts, sweets, etc are presented by the boy’s family in return for items like clothes, cosmetics, money, etc. Kworo literally means ‘to take’ and the girl’s acceptance or refusal is signaled through expression of smiles, happiness, sadness or denial.
Sarte and Sadawu follow. Sarte, the fixing of a marriage date, is usually agreed upon after deliberations on: the loneness of the suitor, refund for previous suitors, confirmation of medical history of the two families (also a modern trend) and the agreement of the payment of Sadawu (dowry). To complete the process, payment of dowry, a compulsory act is the most important of the all rites. Islamically and according to Kanuri tradition, without dowry the marriage is prohibited.
Traditionally, the preferred marriage for a man is to a young virgin, 10 to 14 years of age. But this form of marriage is very expensive, and most men cannot afford it as a first marriage when they are themselves usually in their late teens to mid-twenties. Divorcee marriage attracts less expenditures, while marriage between cousins reduces the required bride-price.
It is unthinkable in the Kanuri tradition and culture for the bride to appear in public. She will never be seen in public from the day her marriage is fixed. Only her friends will be assessable to her for a whole year until the traditional marriage rites and ceremonies are concluded. She will not even visit her family members . It is only when she is transformed from childhood to womanhood that she goes to rejoice with her family and stays for one week. This is called ‘fato kuru.’ Her family will celebrate her one year successful marriage, and if she is lucky with a pregnancy or baby.
Right now, in the rural areas, some families still observe this tradition. Unfortunately greater population live in the urban centres, where so many things like cutting of wedding cake, floating gowns at luncheons, while the bride and groom dance to music adorned in gorgeous dresses are becoming the norm.
The Kanuri marriage ceremony, as prescribed in Islam observes the walimat (wuskru). When the marriage ceremony takes place on Saturday, dishes are prepared on Sunday and dignitaries, friends and well wishers are invited to the homes of the bride and groom to dine. Also, there is the traditional singing and dancing to entertain women who gather, sing and dance; but without mingling with men.
A girl at birth is labeled ‘fatu’ and is transformed into womanhood through stages. After her naming ceremony, she is addressed as ‘tiwal’ and as she circles at the age of 3-4, she will be called ‘kurkumi’, where she realises her gender and begins to know her worth by covering up her nakedness.
At the age between 7 and 8, she is called ‘njoima’, and her hair is divided into three parts of small patches of undeveloped hair: one in front, one at the middle and the other at the back. Even if her hair is fully developed, it will be trimmed to guard against public attention. Between the ages of 10-12, she is now called ‘klyasku’. Her hair will be allowed to grow in full, maintaining the three divisions. Thereon, she is ready for marriage. Traditionally, parents will never allow a child to grow beyond 14 years without marriage because it is a mark of shame or lack of good fortune to allow her experience her first menstrual period in her parent’s house. So, parents hasten before she attains the age of 15, so that she can let her first blood as a virgin on her husband’s bed. When she gets married, she will stay in the husband’s house for one year. Afterward, the process of transforming her hair to a woman called ‘gotto’ takes place. But nowadays, right from the time they attend nursery or primary schools, they plait their hair as if they are grown up women, in pattern with foreign cultures.
Presently, in urban centres, girls at marriage plait their hair as ‘klyasku’, but it is defeatist and only a formality, because their hair has already been plaited on several occasions, a deviation from the Kanuri culture of transforming a girl through the six stages of womanhood.
After marriage, she becomes ‘ngimsuri.’ That is, someone who has been disvirgined by her husband and develops into ‘amida’, a young lady. Thereon, she becomes ‘kalekale’, a coinage from a bird who is regarded as having seen it all by visiting every tree. Now a fearless woman, she metamorphoses into a woman – ‘kamu’. She becomes ‘dapchi’ – a woman that has mastered the art of communication and association between male and female gender and graduates to ‘gudum’ – a well trained woman who knows all the arts of womanhood – child bearing/rearing, men caring and situation managing. Thereon, she becomes ‘njita’ – pepper, at the age of 45-50, and becomes a woman who now assumes authority, talking with audacity without any form of fear. Finally, she becomes ‘kumurso’ – an old woman and transcend to ‘awulumdu’, like a child, now retracing the stages of transformation in Kanuri women.
Nowadays, the dynamics of urbanisation, the expensive nature of the traditional rites and the influence of western education are major factors contributing towards non-observance of Kanuri traditional marriage. In urban centres like Maiduguri , one can hardly distinguish between the western, Hausa and the Kanuri culture, which are now all mixed up. Alien cultures have taken prominence over the Kanuri culture, which if strictly observed is very beautiful, but unfortunately, very costly culture, which is presumably why people are running away from it.
Expected rites in Kanuri traditional marriages are very simple and in line with Islamic injunctions to express ‘love’ between the couple; respect for the ‘waliyyi’, the giver, who could be her father or guardian; observance of ‘sadau’, which is the dowry; ‘sigga’, the act of asking and acceptance between the family of the bride and groom; and their witnesses. The minimum dowry in Kanuri marriage is a quarter of a dinar . So if a dinar costs N10,000 , the dowry will be about N2,500, which could be said to be cheap.
When the groom’s family brings gifts to the bride-to-be, they also bring so many items for the bride’s mother, aunt(s), uncle(s), sister(s), grandfather(s) and mother(s). Finally, when the bride is leaving for her husband’s house, things like the foam from the water used to wash her hair; the ‘kaulu’, which is washing of the hand and feet with palm oil and milk; and carrying her to the car which will convey her to her husband’s house will all be paid for by the groom’s friends.
All these aim at showing the value and love for the bride and to exploit her blessings. Traditionally, the success of her marriage is believed to be largely dependent on the quantum of blessings realised from these activities.
Aminah Ummi Yusuf writes from the Department of Mass Communication, University of Maiduguri, Borno State