A meaty kind of sorcery

‘No it came out very well.’ She replied, unenthusiastically. ‘Then why do you sound so down and out? I thought you’d be on top of the world that our labour of love had paid off.’ I scolded Asabe’s younger sister. ‘Well that’s because despite coming out well, it still failed Anti Bint.’ Saghira explained, mysteriously. […]

‘No it came out very well.’ She replied, unenthusiastically.

‘Then why do you sound so down and out? I thought you’d be on top of the world that our labour of love had paid off.’ I scolded Asabe’s younger sister.

‘Well that’s because despite coming out well, it still failed Anti Bint.’ Saghira explained, mysteriously.

‘How can it come out well and then fail? Just what are you trying to say Saghira?’ I demanded, impatiently.

‘He didn’t like it Anti, Lawal turned it down flat.’ She stated.

‘But how can he, didn’t you tell me he loves Dambun nama (shredded fried meat) so much and you had to learn how to do it this Sallah?’ I asked, perplexed.

‘Everything I told you was correct until last night. Lawal looked at my several hours of work and said it wasn’t what he wanted.’ Saghira sighed sadly.

‘But what happened to make him change so suddenly? I mean are you sure you didn’t offend him in some other way and he is taking out on the Dambu? You know men can be like that sometimes.’ I offered.

‘As far as I’m concerned nothing went wrong at all in that house throughout yesterday. Even though the Sallah visitors were trooping in and I had to oversee the meat-sharing, I still did everything well and on time. I made his small iftar for the morning voluntary fast. I looked my best in my new clothes and fashionable henna design as well as my lovely hairstyle. You know I told you the reason I had to learn how to make the dambu two days to Sallah day was because I was expecting the hair/dresser versus henna designer on Sallah eve. She came and did a good job on me. My house is thoroughly cleaned and the incense burned nicely throughout the day. My two children were also looking their best in their Sallah clothes. In short Anti Bint I can’t recall a thing that could make him unhappy. In any case in the years we’ve been together he usually says his mind when something disturbs him. So it was a shock to me when he suddenly said he wasn’t interested in eating Dambu.’ She concluded.

‘Tell me exactly how he put it we might get a clue as to what is wrong.’ I urged.

‘Well I finished frying the Dambu just before Magrib prayer. So I packed everything in and went to pray. By the time Lawal returned from the mosque I had it packaged in one of my beautiful porcelain dishes. I carried it to his room and said ‘Guess what this is’. He smiled my way and simply said ‘I have no idea.’ So I moved closer and said ‘A whole dish of Dambun nama.’ To my great surprise, the smile immediately left his face. He looked distinctly uncomfortable before he finally said:

“I see, I hope you have more of the normal fried meat because I don’t particularly like Dambu.”

‘You don’t like what? Do you have any idea how many hours I spent yesterday trying to learn how to do it perfectly? Since when did you stop liking it? Only last week you were rhapsodising over the one my sister sent to me and were joking that I may only remain an eater and not a maker of dambu because I hadn’t yet learnt to do it. Galvanised by your words I rushed out and called Anti Bint, then told her that I will be coming to learn how to make it from her. How can you now tell me you don’t like it, what happened?’ I demanded.

‘Nothing, except the fact that I just don’t like it anymore. And please don’t make a big fuss out of it. Like I’ve said, if you have any more of the raw meat, please fry normal fried meat for me tomorrow.” And with that he turned his face away, not even bothering to taste the dambu. Needless to say, it broke my heart. I quickly called Anti Asabe and told her what happened. I offered to share the shredded delicacy between you and her because even keeping it in my house is too painful to bear. She heard me out and said there was no mystery to it at all. Anti Asabe explained that she thinks Lawal is listening to those people who allege that their wives add concoctions into their meals. Such men are scared into believing that once they make known to their wives what their favourite meal is, then the wives will always use it to feed them spiritual additives in order to dominate them. Anyway this is my sister’s theory. I find it so hard to believe because my husband isn’t like that. He is so refined he won’t listen to such tales, and he is so trusting he will not believe I could do a thing like that. Yet nothing else can explain the sudden way he switched off Dambun nama. What am I to believe Anti Bint? I am so confused.’ She ended her narration, dejectedly.

‘It is confusing really’ I replied, ‘and there may be truth in what Asabe said. Men listen to all kinds of anti-women tales from their friends. People like to believe that only women gossip, but today men gossip as much as, if not more than us. Additionally their kind of gossip is worse because it can break a marriage since they always allege that women are into sorcery. Some months ago my niece came and told me about an incident that happened in her house. She just returned from dropping her children in school when she saw what looked like tea all over their corridor right up to her room door. Thinking that one of the children had spilt his tea. She just got a mop and mopped it up.

Later that evening she overheard her husband telling a friend that he had done as instructed, that he had mixed that powder with water and sprinkled it all over the house right up to her room door, when she went out in the morning. He boasted to the friend that there is no way she will be getting her way with him from now on. Habiba could not believe what she heard. She thought they had a good marriage, were living peacefully together. But she gathered enough courage and confronted him with what she saw and heard.  After claiming she heard him wrong, he finally admitted that his friends had advised him to do something about her because she was enjoying too much freedom, and it almost seems like she is the one in charge. Apparently the powder was given to him to undo her sorcery, because his attachment to her was not natural. So if a trained engineer can think this way what stops your own husband from believing his friends?’ I asked.

‘Kai, but it is so disappointing. I just can’t see Lawal believing such stuff. But what can I do now, how do I find out for sure if that was what put him off his favourite meaty snack?’ Saghira asked.

‘You just have to confront him with what we’ve said and ask whether that was his reason for turning down a recipe he literally forced you to go and learn. You might be lucky he will confess to being warned against ‘meaty sorcery.’ Then you can assure him that you are no such wife. On the other hand if he denies that bit, then he might still be willing to tell you what really put him off dambun nama. Either way, you need to get him to believe that you can never harm him and you have never and will never subscribe to sorcery.’ I advised.

‘Thanks very much Anti Bint. I will talk to him tonight, inshAllah.’ She replied, hanging up.