Accommodating relatives: At what cost?

An anonymous housewife shared this on social media recently: “My husband’s nephew lives with us and he has caused so many problems in our home. He is very stubborn, and recently my nine-year-old daughter complained of how he touches her at night in odd places. My problem is that anytime I rebuke him, my husband […]

An anonymous housewife shared this on social media recently: “My husband’s nephew lives with us and he has caused so many problems in our home. He is very stubborn, and recently my nine-year-old daughter complained of how he touches her at night in odd places. My problem is that anytime I rebuke him, my husband picks offence and fights me. Even with my daughter’s complaints about his notorious acts towards her, my husband still sees nothing wrong. I have decided to separate them from sleeping together by telling him to sleep in the living room, and my husband isn’t happy about it. He is rather asking I return him to the bedroom or leave our house as he wouldn’t tolerate me maltreating his nephew. My question is: should I be too accommodating at my own detriment?”
If you were to advise her, what would you say to this disturbed lady?
Thirty-seven-year-old teacher, Maryam Adamu, thinks though marriage for many is the ultimate in life, this type is certainly not it. “Your child’s life and safety comes first. If for simply trying to protect your daughter your husband sends you packing, then you should also threaten to leave him because you now know better. That boy has to get his acts right or leave. Right now, all she has to do is act like a mother hen to protect her child.”
Angela Nwachukwu, a 39-year-old human rights activist, says: “This can’t even happen in my home, tufiakwa! Any man who hears that his young daughter is being molested will take drastic action. Why is the husband in question so cold about the situation in his home? I suggest she calls in his family, though it will be tough to convince them knowing the African mentality.”
She added that: “The rubbish women endure in the name of marriage should be stopped. This is a nine-year-old child we are talking about for God’s sake.”
Social welfare officer, Amina Saleh, 39, believes the woman should share the blame for the crisis in her home. “What on earth was she thinking when she allowed her daughter and her husband’s nephew share the same bedroom and if I’m not wrong, possibly the same bed?  No matter what, boys and girls should not sleep in the same room, especially when they are not siblings.”
She advises that the troubled housewife that her daughter should be her number one priority. “It’s one thing to be called a mother and another to act as one. If you ask me, she didn’t act like a mother in this case. No woman should ever put pleasing a husband or family over the security of her children. No religion allows this,” Amina stressed.
Forty-year-old civil servant, Fatima Ibrahim, thinks there is more to the story. “I still find it hard to believe this story. A friend told me about it last week and I just asked myself, ‘what kind of world are we living in now?’ No matter how irresponsible a man may be, he will not keep quiet on hearing that his nephew is touching his daughter. I think there is more to this story.”
She noted that: “What kind of man is comfortable knowing fully well the daughter is being molested. But looking at the society we live in, everything is taking a dramatic change. As parents, we are to be blamed for some of the things children do these days.”
Fatima laments that parents allow children watch all kinds of movies without adult supervision, and browse the internet where they see all sorts of things, stressing that the children would want to experiment whatever they see on television and social media.
The civil servant however, advises that: “No woman should be too accommodating at her own detriment or her children’s. These children will one day ask what measures we took to protect them.”