Amazing story of paralympic DJ: ‘winning my wife’s heart was easy’

I have had a good life regardless of the fact that I am physically-challenged. My growing up was beautiful. I was involved in a train accident at age nine in Ebute Metta in Lagos, which rendered me challenged. I’ve been living with it for the past 30-something years now. I have four children – the […]

I have had a good life regardless of the fact that I am physically-challenged. My growing up was beautiful. I was involved in a train accident at age nine in Ebute Metta in Lagos, which rendered me challenged. I’ve been living with it for the past 30-something years now.

I have four children – the first is in the University of Ife, the other two are in secondary school and the last is in nursery. Although people avoided and shied away from associating with me before they got to know me, but now, I can say I’m as good as anybody else with the way I am perceived and received.

Did you have a regular life growing up?

The people around me were supportive and showed me love. These were the major blocks that helped and encouraged me to go on. Not for once in those times have I felt cheated by nature or felt that I have lost something, because what the two-legged man has and enjoys I have also. In fact, I think I have gained more.

Why do you say so?

I participated in the USA 1994 Paralympics games where I won a silver medal for swimming and a bronze for table tennis. And during the Abacha regime, I was recognised and awarded with the MON (Member Order of the Niger) title.

Did you think you deserved it or you think it was something given to you based on your being a Paralympics?

(Laughing) Oh yes. I deserved it absolutely. I worked and my hard work produced results. That was service to my nation. In fact, when I was going for the competition, my aim was not to go and win a medal but to see the almighty America that everybody was making so much noise about. But when I saw how others were exercising and preparing, I had a change of heart and joined them.

When we came back, we were given prize money. At General Marwa’s insistence, we invested it in something tangible which we would depend on in the future as we were not likely to remain in sports for 10 years. So I bought a piece of land in Lagos and built a house. Unfortunately, with the development taking place under Fashola’s regime, the house was knocked down because it was close to the canal.

I have had to relocate my family to my parents’ house and I came here to Abuja in search of help and to see if I can perform and raise some money.

How did you meet your wife and how were you able to convince her to marry you?

Hmm… it was a tough one. I chased and toasted her but lucky enough didn’t run out of words and saliva before she agreed.

The first time I noticed her, I made my move and said hi. She looked at me somehow, but later went to get me a drink. In that time, I took a good survey of her and liked what I saw crowned with the kindness she had just exhibited.

I forged on and we started dating. Sometimes, she would feel embarrassed being seen with me, but as time went on and the relationship progressed, her family and friends began to accept and appreciate me. It was not long after that we got married.

How long have you been married to her?

For 25 years now. Twenty five years of good partnership, faithfulness and love like I never imagined. I am married to my soul mate. I couldn’t ever ask for a better deal than what I have now.

What kind of difficulties do you face as a physically-challenged?

They’re many. Not on my part as regards what I can or cannot do but on the part of the society. A landlord doesn’t want to rent his house to you because you have a physical problem. They think you can’t afford to pay the rent or you are associated with evil which will wipe their wealth and good luck away.

You seem to be multi-talented; how did you get into music?

As a child, I used to go to Victor Olaiya’s studio where I would assist them in carrying his instruments and sneak in to play them whenever I could. But being the only disabled in their midst, he kept saying I shouldn’t be allowed to touch his instruments. So whenever I saw him approaching, I would run off as fast as my legs could carry me. Luckily, he never caught me.

It was in that time I discovered I could sing as well and nurtured it to the extent that now I have my own studio and equipment.

Did you think you had a good voice?

No, except that people were saying so.

You weren’t convinced in yourself you could sing?

(Shaking his head and laughing) Not even till today.

How did you start sports?

At Yaba, we used to go and swim as children and play table tennis. There was a lawyer who was a regular there at the time, Babasola Rhodes, who suggested they put me on the national sports team. That was what gingered my continuity in sports until this level.

How do you feel when you are performing and the crowd comes all over you…

(Cuts in) I feel like I am close to heaven. The excitement and contentment I feel is beyond words. I appreciate it.

Do you think you have lost anything in life?

No, I don’t. It is not easy for someone in my situation to achieve as much as I have in Nigeria. People see me on the street and recognise me as the man who won a gold medal. I always have to correct them that I won silver and bronze. I have a family which full-bodied men of my peers still desire to have. My marriage is as stable and blissful as one could desire. My only problem is being homeless at the moment.

The structure was not illegal. The only reason they gave for demolishing it is because it was close to the canal. I have made several efforts to reach Governor Fashola through his press secretary but still nothing has come out of it; which is the reason I decided to come to this way (Abuja). Ali Baba (the boxing champion) brought me with the hope that I will be exposed through my performance here and be able to raise some money to meet my needs.

What do you think of people in your situation who would rather beg than make an effort?

I think background has a lot to do with it. My father was a military man and would never hear of it. We were not even allowed to eat from neighbours and things like that. At a very early age, he taught us self-discipline and independence. He didn’t believe anybody was too disabled to make an effort at survival.

Did you expect to win medal at the Paralympics?

As I said, my intention for the USA was to satisfy my curiosity. As the competition started and blacks were winning the medals, the officials started discouraging us as was obvious in many of the recent football matches where black nations played against other races. But I was undeterred and instead put in more efforts. Of the 98 of us who went, I am happy to have come home with something.

What do you do presently?

I am a DJ and have my gadgets and equipment.

How are you able to impact on your kids?

I am quite a strict father and don’t mince words when they do wrong. I beat them when they are stubborn and naughty, but try to balance it out with the friendship I share with them. It may surprise you that they are closer to me than they are to their mum. They are a sight of envy for my neighbours.

I encourage them when they do well and like to give them surprises which may surprise you too. Like my son when he gained admission into the university, I bought him a packet of sugar which I wrapped up nicely and presented to him with some fanfare. He opened it excitedly but was disappointed to find just a packet of sugar. But by the time I explained how valuable sugar is to life as a material and symbol and how that translated to my feelings for him, he said a sincere thanks to me.

I enjoyed their growing-up years, chasing them when they were naughty and they used to play pranks on me. I used to get angry, but thinking about it now, I think they are the things that have made my life so beautiful and full of fond memories.