An additional burden

I mean, I know it’s neither of your birthdays and it’s definitely not your wedding anniversary. It’s also not any of the Sallah Eid days, so what are we celebrating?’ I asked, looking from one to the other.‘Frankly, I don’t know.’ Sa’a, my sister-in-law replied. ‘All he said to me was that he was expecting […]

I mean, I know it’s neither of your birthdays and it’s definitely not your wedding anniversary. It’s also not any of the Sallah Eid days, so what are we celebrating?’ I asked, looking from one to the other.
‘Frankly, I don’t know.’ Sa’a, my sister-in-law replied. ‘All he said to me was that he was expecting his sisters for dinner so I should cook something special.’ She added.
‘Don’t I have the right to invite you all to dinner with no reason?’ Ahmad asked, smiling.
‘Well, it will be a good idea to do this more often and to occasionally invite our siblings who live out of town. We can be hosting it in turns. This is surely one great way to keep in touch and also have all our children bond more with their cousins.’ I enthused.
‘Stop there Bint. Before you rhapsodize more about this, I better confess the real reason we are here.’ My brother responded.
‘Or, so we are celebrating something?’ my younger sister Mariya asked, smiling.
‘Well, this isn’t really a celebration but it might lead to one if you people do your homework well.’ He answered, enigmatically smiling.
‘Our homework?’ I enquired.
‘Yes, I want you two to set out and quickly get me a second wife.’ He replied seriously.
‘A second wife Yaya?’ Mariya and I echoed in confusion. Looking at his wife, I added ‘Surely this is a joke between you two, isn’t it?’
‘If it’s a joke, I’m hearing it for the first time and it’s certainly in bad taste.’ Sa’a replied, her face a mask of anger.
‘Believe me I’ve never been more serious in my life. I am looking for a new wife and at the age of sixty, I can’t go around knocking doors in the name of courtship. I want you to help me find a suitable, young wife as soon as possible. Not too young of course but someone who can provide the company I need.’ Ahmad explained.
 ‘But you have a wife who has been doing that for the last thirty years, why would you complicate your life by going for another?’ I asked.
‘Who said that’s what she has been doing? Well ask her yourself. Ask her who has been caring for me since I retired six months ago? It is the many house-helps she keeps around that do so. I have looked forward to retirement like nothing else in my life. I was counting the days till we can wake up together and keep each other company without any need to rush to work.
All our married life I’ve been working while she was minding our home-front. There was never enough time or enough money to sit back and relax. Then my retirement approached and of course I have grown more financially comfortable, so all I wanted was to be with her and make up for lost time. I hadn’t bargain with the fact that I was no longer her priority. Now, she has saddled her servants with the responsibility of seeing that I am well taken care of.
In fairness to Sa’a, she has trained them well. Everything works with clock-like precision. My fruits and tea are there on the table the moment I come down for breakfast. Then from the breakfast menu she pasted on the kitchen wall, I will be asked what I would like to eat, so that as soon as I ordered, it will be ready in 15 minutes. I will then be served to eat alone while she slept till noon.’ Yaya Ahmad paused, as if to let that sink in.
‘Sleep till noon, Anti Sa’a why do you sleep that long?’ I asked.
‘Because I never go to bed as early as he does. Therefore, as soon as I pray subhi and woke up the house-girls, I have to get back to sleep. Otherwise I won’t be able to go to my shop later. But don’t let his complains fool you. It’s obvious to me that Ahmad has made up his mind to take another wife, he is making up all these excuses to get you to support him.’ She alleged.
‘So you call the fact that you are never there when I eat breakfast and lunch seeking an excuse to get married; you call the fact that you always come to bed long after I have slept, claiming that you remained awake to make sure all our kids were at home and in bed, seeking an excuse to marry again? I suppose the fact you don’t even bring me a glass of water because your house-helps are trained to do that is also another figment of my imagination?’ Ahmad demanded angrily.
‘I am not saying these are not true, what I am saying is that it didn’t bother you before so the only reason it’s bothering you now is because your mind is made up to go polygamous.’ Sa’a defended herself.
‘But it did bother me from the moment I retired and saw how you planned to deal with the new me. At first I thought it will be temporary, till you get used to me being at home most of the time. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that you have shared your time evenly between your shop and your children and that I was nothing but an additional burden you were not prepared to shoulder.’ He argued.
‘But what did you want me to do? Abandon the shop that took me years to build in order to keep you company? Or join you in bed by 10pm when my boys are still outside with their friends? I have to be a responsible mother who makes sure that all her children are in bed before locking up and retiring for the night.’ Sa’a countered.
‘And who said you cannot make them go to sleep by 10pm. Yes, they are working young men who are aged 29 and 27 years old. But as long as they are under our roof, they should live by our rules. If you insist that our sons must be home by 10pm, be sure they will have no choice but to comply. But because it suits your plans to keep late hours, you chose to indulge them.
Anyway, my mind is made up. So Bint and Mariya, please find me a decent, young, pretty, religious, educated and humble wife in the next two months. Tell your older sisters to join in the search as well. I want to feel loved and wanted, not be considered an unbearable burden.’ He concluded.
‘I don’t think you’ll have to take this drastic step Yaya.’ I said in response. ‘Let’s talk this over with Anti Sa’a and see what changes can be done around here. She already said she didn’t know it bothered you, maybe now that she knows she will be willing to change.’ I offered.
‘Do you think so? I am not a blind optimist Bint and from what I have seen, Sa’a does not even have a sense of wrongdoing.’ Ahmad answered. But ignoring that comment, Sa’a looked at me and asked:
‘What else am I expected to do apart from closing down my shop?’
‘No one is asking you to close down your shop, least of all me who encouraged you to open it and gave you the money to start the business.’ Her husband replied. ‘Or have you forgotten that it was I who brought up the whole idea because you were a full-time house wife whom I felt should be empowered? I still remember the year I dedicated all my housing allowance to setting up the shop because luckily for you, I didn’t have to pay rent since I inherited this house.
At the time, I was the one saying that you needed to go out and earn something so that you won’t be totally dependent on me. I argued that it was additional security for the family if you were in a position to fend for yourself in my absence. Today you are using that same gesture of goodwill to haunt me.’ Ahmad accused.
‘Well you heard that Anti Sa’a. I think the way out of all this is to start paying more attention to my brother. I agree that you can get the boys to be returning home by 10pm. After all, as workers, they should be going to bed early so as to rise refreshed enough to go to office in the morning. You have to be joining him for all his meals and avoid letting him be at the mercy of your house-helps.’ I advised.
‘And she must be in bed by 10.15 since the boys will be in by 10pm. In fact when the two get married later this year, since they’ve both found young women they want to settle with, you will have no excuse to say you are waiting up for them. The younger ones always go to bed by 9pm so they do not contribute to our problem.’ Yaya Ahmad disclosed.
‘Ok, that is settled then. Anti Sa’a, do you agree with our suggestions?’ I asked.
‘Do I have a choice?’ she answered.
‘Yes you do, you can stick to your old ways and let me take a new wife.’ Yaya Ahmad replied, teasing her.
‘Over my dead body’ she replied, smiling back at him.