Anatomy of sleaze

If you thought President Buhari was being unnecessarily puritanical in the way he insisted that the doctored 2016 budget sent to him be cleaned of any kind of padding, and if you were sold on the fat lies being peddled by many a Rep or Senator that the legislators were merely doing their ‘patriotic duty’ […]

If you thought President Buhari was being unnecessarily puritanical in the way he insisted that the doctored 2016 budget sent to him be cleaned of any kind of padding, and if you were sold on the fat lies being peddled by many a Rep or Senator that the legislators were merely doing their ‘patriotic duty’ to deliver a credible budget for Nigeria, now you know better. The budgeting process as presently designed by the eminent crooks in our legislature is an elaborate scam.
When some of us said that the legislature had no right to introduce new items into the budget and that the so-called constituency projects were just a ruse for democratisation of sleaze, some critics sided with the legislators. Some even went as far as equating the legislature with the executive arm, ignoring the fact that lawmakers were not elected to execute. The question we won’t ever tire of asking is, if you are so enchanted by the role of the executive, why not find your way there and quit the legislature? To remain in the legislature and blackmail the executive to cede some powers and projects so that you can all put your soiled fingers in the gravy tray, is nothing but a crime by another name.
Representative Abdulmumin Jibrin, erstwhile chair of the appropriations committee of the House suddenly became an anti-corruption crusader the moment he was separated from his office. Before that, his voice was the shrillest in the defence of the legislature in the heat of the public outcry over the padding of the 2016 budget. Now he is unsaying everything he had said and pointing fingers at Speaker Yakubu Dogara as the original Capo di tutt’i capi among the band of budget-padding pirates. As allegations flew back and forth, their political party, the All Progressives Congress (APC) was so embarrassed that it ordered a ceasefire.
Alas, there is no better adhesive to glue political opponents across generations together than good old sleaze! And to think that the bulk of the dramatis personae are in their thirties and forties! And to show how far gone he is, the ethically challenged Dogara had the temerity to say, “Padding!” is not corruption”! Now you see the landlord of Paddington Street? Whither the hype that the younger generation is better than the old?
An old war horse, former President Olusegun Obasanjo, who had always been of the view that the national legislature had more than its fair share of misfits, congratulated himself when the revelations became public. He had famously said, “Today, rogues, armed robbers are in the state houses of assembly and the national assembly. What sort of laws will they make?” Last week, he reiterated the same line of argument: “It is not a question of investigation; we should get men and women of integrity in the place and the president should be very vigilant. Whatever should not pass should not pass!”
What to do next? The security agencies must thoroughly investigate this subversion of our national spending plan and prosecute all those indicted across party lines. Now that the wind has blown to expose the ugly rear quarters of the fowl, it shouldn’t be too difficult for President Buhari to delete henceforth the budget item euphemistically tagged “Constituency Projects”. Let all projects flow from the same source saddled with the task by the constitution – the executive arm of government.
If you notice, all the major and minor tribes are fully represented in the padding exercise. Even those who were reduced to onlookers in the conspiracy acquiesced with the hope that they could benefit from the crumbs. Loot-sharing time is unity time. If the loot goes round and every robber keeps his end of the bargain, it will all ‘digest’ peacefully; otherwise it will lead to ‘constipation’.
Let the probes and prosecutions begin and let the indicted be brought to justice. If we allow this scandal to be swept under the carpet under whatever guise, we shall be contributing to making this democracy come to grief.

Re: PMB’s missed opportunity
I am no spokesman for president Buhari, but I do not recall the federal government doing anything about the 50th anniversary of the January 15, 1966, coup d’etat. It was organisations and the media that marked the occasion with publications, conferences, etc. It would therefore be untenable for government or the president himself to do or say anything on the other anniversary. Surely you would not be saying that the July coup was more significant than the January one. Or that the lives lost then were more precious.
I read the edition of the Drum magazine at the time of issue and do not share in the exculpation of Nelson Ottah. The article and the picture were hurtful in the extreme.
The healing that will help the country is one which acknowledges the hurt suffered by all sides without grading one above the others. This July 29 cannot be a landmark ahead of January 15, 1966.
M. T. Usman, [email protected]

Reply: Well said, Usman. No attempt was made to suggest that one tragedy was superior to another. Tragedy is tragedy. There is no reason the president wouldn’t address the nation on January 15 either. He is, after all, the symbol of our collective aspirations. In other climes, such anniversaries are used to advance some national ethos. The Drum article you referred to was absolutely in bad taste but there is a book titled “The Beats of Drum”, published by the proprietor, Jim Bailey, where Nelson Ottah disclaimed ownership of the offensive article and finger-pointed Bailey as the ghost who planted it. Bailey did not deny! I worked in Drum in later years. In the mid-80s when I edited Monthly Life where Ottah kept a column, he repeated his denial to me. Having said that, it must be clear to us all that Nigeria would have fared much better if we didn’t have the gruesome events of January 1966 and the subsequent litany of blood-letting.