And all’s well that ends well (II)

‘But your sister has always been a beautiful young lady.’ I said. ‘The little extra attention to her looks just brought out what has always been there. But check out your brother, he certainly looks great in his own attire. They are no doubt the most beautiful couple in the room, which is as it […]

‘But your sister has always been a beautiful young lady.’ I said. ‘The little extra attention to her looks just brought out what has always been there. But check out your brother, he certainly looks great in his own attire. They are no doubt the most beautiful couple in the room, which is as it should be.’ I observed.

‘Please Bint, don’t call them my brother and sister anymore. It brings back all my worries and anxiety I had over how people will see their marriage. Already I get nightmares worrying over what their children will ask when they learn that their mother and father are my direct siblings.’ She lamented.

‘Really, well you can simply explain that they are your half siblings on different sides and are totally unrelated. We have been through this before Maryam, you have no reason to dwell on it.’ I cautioned.

‘But why should I be the one to explain? Why must the onus be on me to make people understand?’ Maryam moaned.

‘Yes precisely, why should it be you? Let me tell you why it seems like it has to be you. It’s because you are the only one worrying about it. It’s because you are obsessed enough to worry about what even unborn children might ask you concerning a matter that is neither sinful nor unlawful. Why are you tormenting yourself so? And to think that you were the same person who, a few weeks ago, was going up and down trying to convince your parents to let them wed. Who would believe you have been harbouring the bride for a fortnight just so her father will not abduct her to force her into another marriage? Now you have allowed yourself to develop cold feet and all you can think about is what people will say after all your struggles have come to fruition? What is wrong with you?’ I demanded, passionately.

‘I’m sorry Bint, I suppose I am just a born worrier, I will have to work hard to chase the habit. Aha, the event is starting my God they are calling me to give the opening prayer. Excuse me Bint, I’ll soon be back.’ And with that she rose and walked to the podium.

‘MashaAllah, that was a nice, all-encompassing prayer you made for the couple and the rest of us. May Almighty Allah accept it on our behalf.’ I said as soon as Maryam returned to her seat.

‘Thank you and you better prepare for your own role too. A glimpse at the programme says you will be the first to give advice to the newly-weds.’ She replied.

‘Really? I’m surprised we didn’t bother to look at the programme when we came in. Oh yes here is my name. But what do you expect me to say that others can’t say?’ I asked.

‘Anything Bint, anything at all. With you marriage seems like an easy topic to discuss. You talk and analyse it like a pro, indeed I think you are a pro. So just go over there and give it to us.’ She encouraged.

‘Well I’ll try my best. I usually reserve my empty-box theory for newlyweds. It is what I will use as the spring board for my advice now inshaAllah.’ I concurred, looking up to see the bride’s and groom’s best friends getting set to give their verbal testimonies on them.

‘Yes, I like the empty box theory very much. In fact I never get tired of hearing you say it. Can you please do so now, it will give you a dress rehearsal before you are called upon to talk.’ Maryam urged.

‘Yes, that’s a good idea. An elderly couple was celebrating it’s 50th wedding anniversary when a reporter approached the man and asked him what was the secret of their long and successful marriage. The man answered that a marriage must be seen like an empty box in which you will need to put everything you want. If you put love, laughter, understanding and respect, you will see them all there. While if you put the opposite of these that is also what you will find. There is no way you should consider marriage a full institution complete with all you need. No it is rather an empty box waiting to be filled by the couple. That old man considered this the secret of his successful marriage.’ I narrated.

‘It’s always nice and reassuring to hear it from you Bint. But do you think it is really true?’ She asked.

‘Yes it is, at least up to some extent. By this I mean as long as there are no third parties interfering or playing a role in your relationship. Once there are, you can forget about your empty box, because anything you put there will be catapulted out by them. But of course I can’t mention that here, yet the empty box can only work when couples are on their own, working to make each other happy. Once others are involved, God save that empty box.’ I warned.

‘Wow, marriage is so without guarantees, sometimes I wonder why we make such a big fuss of celebrating it. I mean since the whole idea is to uphold The Prophet’s (SAW) practice, let us just make it as modest as possible and just wish for the best.’ Maryam suggested.

‘I say ‘amen’ to that, because ostentatious weddings are discouraged in Islam even if marriages can be guaranteed to last happily ever after. Any way before they call me for my impromptu lecture, how do you plan to tell your father now that the deed is done? I shudder to think how he will react, knowing that he had been outsmarted.’ I said.

‘Oh father already knows, sorry I forgot to tell you. I only got to hear about it last night after you’d left. Apparently his cousin Alhaji Ahmed thought the marriage had father’s consent. So the moment he received his invitation Kolanut, you know we dared not publish an IV for the wedding Fatiha, he called father to congratulate him. He discovered his mistake on time when Abba said to him that he had no idea what he was talking about. He then rushed to Uncle Isa’s house to find out what was going on because he had been told that was the venue of the wedding Fatiha, and there he heard the whole story. Alhaji Ahmed advised Uncle Isa to let father know before the Fatiha is held today, otherwise it can only worsen their relationship. He agreed and assigned Ahmed to go and tell father that as his elder brother he had decided to marry off his niece to the man of her choice. And that he was only informing father, not seeking his permission. Predictably Abba raved and ranted and finally said he wants to have nothing to do with them if they developed problems in their unusual marriage.  The good thing is he didn’t say he had disowned her or even me, whom he knew as an accomplice. He also didn’t say anything about not wishing to see them. So we consider this a good signal. Next week I plan to accompany them to greet him. We hope he would have sufficiently cooled down by then. And this is the latest on Abba.’ Maryam concluded.

‘MashaAllah, it is really a good signal. May Allah bless their union. By the time he sees a cute little boy named after him, I think his cold front will melt down completely, inshaAllah.’ I said smiling towards the newly-weds.

‘Yes it will, inshaAllah. And now it’s your turn to go up there and tell us just how to have the romance of a lifetime.’ Maryam said urging me up.

‘I wish I know Maryam dearest, I wish I know.’ I replied, rising up.