AND NOW…BARKA DA SALLAH!

Though a few days have gone after Sallah, it is customary with this page during this festive season, a time for merriment, for laughter to accompany whatever dishes we have being served. Those same dishes that, a few years ago, caused some keen observers to conclude your Columnist is (or has) a ‘Tomato Face’. The […]

Though a few days have gone after Sallah, it is customary with this page during this festive season, a time for merriment, for laughter to accompany whatever dishes we have being served. Those same dishes that, a few years ago, caused some keen observers to conclude your Columnist is (or has) a ‘Tomato Face’. The ‘tuwon shinkafa and miyar taushe’ (they still have got no English equivalents) and all delicacies in between.

We are fortunate that this year we have escaped the shock of the murders that occurred in Kano last year and, except for a certain ‘wuju-wuju’ (a story for another day) that nearly marred our Emir’s Sallah Durbar, the season went by pleasantly eventfully. Therefore, as usual, we should have some laughter today to take us through this Sallah weekend.

In an article titled ‘Bringing More Humour and Laughter into Your Life’ written by Melinda Smith and others, and hosted as a chapter on www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm and presented on this page a few years ago, it was said:

“Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that is innate and inborn. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born. Even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life.

“Begin by setting aside special times to seek out humour and laughter, as you might with working out, and build from there. Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humour and laughter into the fabric of your life, finding it naturally in everything you do.

“Here are some ways to start:

• Smile. Smiling is the beginning of laughter. Like laughter, it’s contagious. Pioneers in ‘laugh therapy,’ find it’s possible to laugh without even experiencing a funny event. The same holds for smiling. When you look at someone or see something even mildly pleasing, practice smiling.

• Count your blessings. Literally make a list. The simple act of considering the good things in your life will distance you from negative thoughts that are a barrier to humour and laughter. When in a state of sadness, we have further to travel to get to humour and laughter.

• When you hear laughter, move toward it. Sometimes humour and laughter are private, a shared joke among a small group, but usually not. More often, people are very happy to share something funny because it gives them an opportunity to laugh again and feed off the humour you find in it. When you hear laughter, seek it out and ask, ‘What’s funny?’

• Spend time with fun, playful people. These are people who laugh easily–both at themselves and at life’s absurdities–and who routinely find the humour in everyday events. Their playful point of view and laughter are contagious.

• Bring humour into conversations. Ask people, ‘What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week? In your life?”

As espoused several times in the past, your Columnist recommends two sources to get a good laughter; the magazine Reader’s Digest and the Stories of Mullah Nasruddin. Today, we shall present some jokes from both, one interspaced by the other. The original submitters of the RD jokes are in parenthesis. Enjoy:

A woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy along with her seven-year-old son. Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, ‘Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?’ ‘What do you say?’ she said. He replied, ‘You’re thin and beautiful.’ The woman reached into her purse and gave her son the money. (Mercury Nickse)

Nasruddin had two wives. The second was much younger than the first. One evening he came home to find them quarrelling about which of them their husband loved more. At first, Nasruddin told them he loved them both equally, but neither of them was satisfied with his answer. Then the older one asked, ‘Well, just suppose the three of us were in a boat, and it started to sink. Which of us would you try to save?’ Nasruddin thought for a moment, and then said to his older wife, ‘My dear, you know how to swim, don’t you?’

While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl’s hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. ‘What do you think?’ he asked his girlfriend. ‘Take them off!’ she howled. ‘They make you look ridiculous.’ (Audrey Kelly)

One day the King invited Nasruddin to his palace for dinner. The royal chef prepared, among others, a cabbage recipe for the occasion. After the dinner, the King asked, ‘How did you like the cabbage?’ ‘It was very delicious,’ complimented Nasruddin. ‘I thought it tasted awful,’ said the King. ‘You’re right,’ said Nasruddin, ‘it was very bland.’ ‘But you just said it tasted delicious,’ the King noted. ‘Yes, but I’m the servant of His Majesty, not of the cabbage,’ Nasruddin replied.

I feel inadequate when talking with a mechanic, so when my vehicle started making a strange noise, I sought help from a friend. A car nut, he told me how to explain the difficulty when I took it in for repair. At the shop, I proudly recited, ‘The timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves.’ As I smugly glanced over the mechanic’s shoulder, I saw him write on his clipboard, ‘Lady says it makes a funny noise.’ (Kate Kellogg)

Nasruddin loved his  donkey. One day the villagers came running, ‘Nasruddin! Nasruddin! Your donkey is lost!’ To which Nasruddin replied:  ‘Praise be to Allah! Why, if I was on him I would have been lost too!’

Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. ‘I’m going to be away for a long time,’ I told him. ‘I’m going to Iraq.’ ‘Why?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you know there’s a war going on over there?’ (Thomas Cioppa)

The villagers asked the Mullah: ‘How old are you, Nasruddin?’ ‘Forty,’ he replied. ‘But you said that two years ago when we asked.’ ‘That’s right. I always stand by my word!’

I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, ‘Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds.’ ‘Sweetheart,’ my mother gently chided, ‘this is not the Internet. (M.M.)

That was the time Mullah Nasruddin’s family was very poor. One day Nasruddin’s wife woke him in the middle of the night and whispered,

‘Nasruddin, there is a thief in the kitchen!’ ‘Shhh…don’t make a noise, woman!’ whispered Nasruddin, ‘let the thief be. Perhaps he finds

something then we seize it!’

We rushed our four-year-old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever, and vomitting. The doctor did an exam, then asked Ben what bothered him the most. After thinking it over, Ben said hoarsely, ‘I would have to say my little sister.’ (Angela Schmid)

One day Nasruddin was asked the secret to longevity. He said: ‘Keep your feet warm, your head cool, be careful what you eat and don’t think too much.’

So there. And so again, Barka da Sallah. Allah maimaita mana!