…AND TO EAGLE SQUARE! (II)

Sadly, No! Too many lives have been lost already and, may Allah protect us, many more lives may be lost before a new President is sworn in on May 29 at Eagle Square. Lives lost just because of the desperation of the Nigerian politician. Sadly, the Nigerian media are not keeping tabs and statistics on […]

Sadly, No! Too many lives have been lost already and, may Allah protect us, many more lives may be lost before a new President is sworn in on May 29 at Eagle Square. Lives lost just because of the desperation of the Nigerian politician. Sadly, the Nigerian media are not keeping tabs and statistics on how many lives have so far been lost for no just cause. Beats you what reporters and their editors consider ‘news’.

From today, Nigeria will return to the polls again, following the botched attempt last week. The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) and its Chairman Professor Attahiru Jega have already announced that there would be no elections in several senatorial and house of representatives districts nationwide. INEC announced that, apart from the fact that ballot papers need to be printed for the districts where elections had started before the cancellation last week, the logos of some parties were MISSING in some ballot papers across many states.

Makes one wonder: Who gave the printing job? Who is the printer? Who is INEC’s proof-reader before the packaging? And in this age of Information Technology, didn’t anyone send advance copies of the ballots electronically and securely for final vetting? Wasn’t there a manual count of the logos on each ballot paper before wrapping? Are these printers the same guys who print our currency notes? Do we need to look at our currencies much closer again, lest that Eagle may have flown away? Is it the printer’s devil? Or is the printer the devil? Many questions!

Perhaps had the National Assembly elections taken place last week, with the obvious flaws now seen by INEC and all, and with the absence of those Result Sheets (the original reason for cancellation), by now there would have been so much uproar and tumult that the subsequent weeks’ elections would have been put in jeopardy. Luckily, the polls were cancelled, to the chagrin of many, but to a general sigh of relief for most: INEC understands that ‘he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day’. That ‘another day’ is today.

Perhaps the most disturbing statements I heard this week are related to the fact that incumbent President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan is being accused by many in his own party, the Peoples’ Democratic Party, PDP (she of the ‘umblera’), for ‘anti-party’ activities. Many top-notchers of this ruling party, ‘the biggest party in Africa’, ‘the party that is poised to rule for sixty years’, are said to be bitterly complaining that the way the President is allowing (in fact encouraging) INEC and Professor Jega to try to get it right in our elections this time around is tantamount to crippling the chances of PDP, which may not win again in free and fair elections.

To wit, two particular statements of the President give much hope to Nigerians, and much fear to the PDP: that ‘every vote must count’; and that ‘no politician’s ambition is worth the blood of any Nigerian’. If only the President would put teeth to these statements and ensure that mongers and harbingers of violence are quickly brought to book, and are incarcerated until after the election period. Alas, though some of the opposition parties may be culprits in this, most of the perpetrators of election violence belong to the President’s own party, and many are untouchable.

As is usual with this column, it shares the trending bits and pieces making the rounds in cyberspace. This week, ‘The Value of My Vote’ is trending in most of Nigeria’s internet discussion groups. If you haven’t yet read it, here it is in first person narrative:

“As the general elections draw closer, politicians are getting desperate to get more people to cast their votes in their favour. Last week, I witnessed an amazing drama unfold as a politician tried frantically to convince my neighbour to cast his vote for a particular party. When the politician realised that his effort was getting him nowhere, he decided to use the power in his pocket. He brought out a bundle of N200 notes and dangled it in my neighbour’s face, basically the same way you would dangle some bait to an animal you are trying to catch.

“How much is your vote?’ the politician asked, with a deceptive smile on his face. My neighbour hesitated for a moment, and then he grabbed a piece of paper and began to scribble down something. When he finished writing, he handed the piece of paper to the politician saying, “This is the value of my vote.”

“The politician went through the paper briefly and then squeezed and threw it away, in my direction. He hurried away, saying that my neighbour was crazy. My neighbour, realising I was watching, picked up the piece of paper and said, waving the paper at me, “Am I being irrational?”

I took the piece of paper and looked at it. My neighbour had written on the paper the breakdown of his family’s expenses which the government (according to him) had so far failed to provide him. He then multiplied everything by four years:

“Security at N20,000 per month for 12 months for four years = N960,000; One electric generator every two years at N40,000 each = N80,000; Fuel for generator at N1,000 daily for 365 days for four years = N1,460,000; Potable water at N500 daily for 365 days for four years = N730,000; Healthcare at N10,000 per month for 12 months for four years = N480,000; Child’s Education at N5,000 per month for 12 months for four years = N240,000; Housing at N500,000 per year for four years = N2,000,000. Total N5,950,000 (Five Million Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand Naira) only.

“Well,’ he explained as I continued to stare at his breakdown, ‘if asking for the basic necessities of life is being irrational, I wonder what is rational? I wasn’t trying to be difficult; I believe this is a modest breakdown of expenses considering I have a wife and a kid. And if you have a larger family, the value of your vote may be much higher than this,’ my neighbour concluded.

If wishes were horses! (And this column hopes they will be!) For those who underwent Nursery Rhymes in school, says Wikipedia, ‘If wishes were horses, beggars would ride’ is an English language proverb and nursery rhyme originating in the 16th century. It is usually used to suggest that it is useless to wish and that better results will be achieved through action. The rhyme goes:

If wishes were horses

Beggars would ride:

If turnips were watches

I would wear one by my side.

And if ifs and ans were pots and pans,

The tinker would never work!

So if wishes were horses, Nigerians would see a new face being sworn in as President come May 29 at Eagle Square; if wishes were horses, most of the crooked and wicked godfathers of Nigerian politics would be swept aside by the tide of popular choice; if wishes were horses, the Ayes of the Chambers of Horrors (for those school children) would be jettisoned by the electorate for a more purposeful legislature. If only wishes were horses. And they could well be, for Nigerians are ready to act, and ride! So don’t just wish, ACT! So, again, to Eagle Square!