Appreciating gifts from your spouse

Mrs. Haruna (not real name) says: “My husband likes buying things like shoes and clothes for me but I don’t like them because they are not my style. I’ve told him to give me the money so I can buy what I like and what suits me but he won’t bulge. Now, I have a […]

Mrs. Haruna (not real name) says: “My husband likes buying things like shoes and clothes for me but I don’t like them because they are not my style. I’ve told him to give me the money so I can buy what I like and what suits me but he won’t bulge. Now, I have a whole lot of shoes and clothes that I dislike and don’t wear. How do I handle this amicably as I don’t want to hurt his feelings or quarrel over his buying me things that I don’t like?”
Adaeze Ezeoka, a 38-year-old nurse, who was once in a similar situation, offered this advice: “We all have different tastes and styles, but keep telling him he will eventually adjust. However, since you don’t like the items, sell them to your friends or relatives who are interested or use them to sow seed into people’s lives. That way you will get God’s blessings instead of piling them up without wearing them. Always remember to thank him and appreciate him for what he gives you as a gift though.”
But Vivian Ameh, a 40-year-old nurse, disagrees with the idea of selling whatever a spouse gifts one. “Please, selling them is not the best advice anyone should give in this situation. This attitude will hurt the man and aggravate issues in the family. I think the best thing to do is to wear them even if you don’t like them and with time, you will get to like them,” she observed.
“Hubby bought a pair of shoes for me two months ago and it wasn’t my taste. I had to keep on wearing them because he likes the shoes and looks happy anytime I wear them. Guess what, for the fact that he loves it when I wear the shoes, the shoes are now one of my favourites, because anything that makes my husband happy also makes me happy and gives my home peace,” Vivian remarked.
Thirty-seven-year-old accountant, Aisha Yahaya, says: “Its different strokes for different folks in this situation. I am always in high spirits anytime my husband buys anything for me. I always dance, hug, kiss, praise him and prepare his favourite dish that day or the following day. I can’t remember telling my hubby I dislike what he bought for me and that motivates him to always buy things for me. If you don’t like what he buys, you can politely tell him what you need when he is in a good mood. I pray it will not stop him from buying next time. Men hate it when they are not appreciated.”
Sa’adatu Adamu, a 39-year-old biochemist, advises the concerned lady to first appreciate whatever her husband buys for then tell him about her choices or go directly him to where she does her shopping. “Tell him it’s easier and cheaper there and that the qualities are good at that particular place, but appreciate his efforts first,” she remarked.
Sa’adatu added that: “As for me, we go together if hubby is shopping for me. But please be thankful for anything he buys for you. I have a friend who always complained about what her husband got for her but today she is the one begging him to get her anything of his choice because he stopped buying for her. I’m sure you wouldn’t want things to go that way for you?”