Are women really their own enemies?

Just few days ago, the international day of the girl child was celebrated. Different speeches were delivered on why the girl child should be given all opportunities to excel in life. While attending one of the events to mark the day, someone made a seemingly innocent comment. “Look how innocent they are today; when they […]

Just few days ago, the international day of the girl child was celebrated. Different speeches were delivered on why the girl child should be given all opportunities to excel in life. While attending one of the events to mark the day, someone made a seemingly innocent comment.
“Look how innocent they are today; when they become successful in future, it is their fellow women that will champion the pull-her-down (PHD) campaign.” This lady went on to ask, “At what point in life does the female child lose all sense of oneness and become selfish and wanting everything to be all about her?” All I could give her was a smile but I said to myself, ‘she has a point’. Why are women their own enemies?
Bilkisu Bello, 39-year-old accountant, says it’s hurtful to see women oppose themselves all in the name of greed and jealousy. “The rate at which women oppose themselves with hurtful words is alarming. I never believed women are the greatest enemy of themselves till I fell a victim. The painful part was that this came from someone I considered my friend. Since then I have wondered why women never like to see their fellow women progress in life.”
Rita Henry, 40-year-old medical personnel, says “Women have always been their own enemy since God knows when. They tend to be jealous of their fellow women’s clothes, shoes, hair, nails, physical endowment, skin colour, in fact virtually everything is an item for jealousy. That’s why it’s almost impossible for a woman to rise to certain positions in the society, because her fellow women will be the first to pull her down (PHD) as it is mostly called these days. We fight and pull each other down a lot and that’s one of the reasons why patriarchy is still very prevalent in our society. Our hate for one another gives men the leverage to see and treat us like second class citizens. So, to a large extent, women contribute a whole lot to their problems.”
Zainab Abdulazeez, 39-year-old lawyer, says contentment is the key word here. “If you are satisfied with what you have and who you are and where you are, you sure won’t have time to grudge over someone else’s success. My mum trained me to be content with whatever situation I find myself. The right time is now, to start teaching our children, especially girls, that the other girl is better than she is because of what she has and what her family has attained. Women should love and support themselves since men have failed to make this world better. One thing I learnt growing up is if you can’t help someone’s situation do not make the person feel more miserable by pulling her down.”
Rakiya Ahmadu, 40-year-old civil servant, says “We have self-hate as women. Where there are women only, there can never be peace! There is jealousy, backstabbing, malice and hatred. All these I know because where I work, I’m presently facing it. The women prefer to support the men than support their fellow women all because of jealousy. I pray that one day we will walk away from this self-hate and begin to love, only then can we make headway as women.”
I just want to use this medium to advice women to love themselves and never use people’s situation against them. Everything in life happens for a reason and is destined to happen.  We should learn to stand up for each other. Love and unity should be our watch word. It will do us a lot of good if we learnt to stop bringing down our fellow women.