Are women their own worst enemies?

The strength of women is admirable when they gather to address social misconduct but how genuine are these shows of concern bearing in mind that women are accused of being their own worst enemies? In recent times, there has been this craze for 35% affirmative action for women but political developments point to the futility […]

The strength of women is admirable when they gather to address social misconduct but how genuine are these shows of concern bearing in mind that women are accused of being their own worst enemies? In recent times, there has been this craze for 35% affirmative action for women but political developments point to the futility of this demand, while increasingly becoming obvious that women are the major reason why they might not attain that feat.  For instance how many of them gave support to the only woman who stood in the race for the presidential slot?  How many are still ready to go against all odds to support Pauline Tallen or Gbemisola Saraki to win the gubernatorial contest in their individual states?

Social commentators say most women would rather prefer a man to occupy higher positions in places of work than have their fellow women there. They point to comments such as “she slept her way to that post” as an indication of this lack of trust and support to each other. Women, they opine, compete with open rivalry against one another whether in the shopping arena, school, places of work etc.

Look around and see how many women would rather not want another woman to be their boss in places of work but prefer a man to fit in that place.

“I would like the situation to change but before then, I will continue to always employ a guy to serve me where possible because they serve without sentiments and bias”, says Angela Johnson, a pharmacist.

Some people hold the belief that women relate to men better than they do with their fellow women, not necessarily because of something the other woman has done wrong but just because she is a female! If this is indeed true, then it’s really absurd.

“Germaine Greer, a philosopher, would have us think that when a female rises to a higher position that bond of ‘sisterhood’ should make her encourage other females to emulate her. From experience though, this rarely happens. “Most women that make it to the top reluctantly want other females usurping their position.  They seem too uncomfortable with the thought of another woman occupying that position thus distracting attention from them. They treat their female employees with suspicion and dismiss them as being inexperienced and incapable”, says Jamila Abdulsalam, a media practioner.

Some studies show that women’s competitiveness with each other is natural. They cite the example of little girls competing with their mothers for their father’s attention, and then they compete with their mothers for their brother’s attention. As these girls grow older, they continue to compete with each other for boyfriends, friends and jobs while men sit back enjoying all the attention. When will we realize our stupidity? For how long are we going to continue to bring each other down?

Many female friendships have ended due to jealousy and insecurity. And when a man is concerned, it’s appalling. Women ought to be the ones who understand one another best. They are the only ones who understand the pain a woman goes through in any situation because they are made the same; emotionally as well as biologically. We go through the same problems. Hence, why not stick together?

What benefit do women derive by pulling each other down? Contest over trivial things do not make anyone greater than the other. Why wouldn’t women take a cue from men and learn to support one another so long that person is doing the right thing.

I read a quote recently which said that men find allies in each other while women compete against each other. So much truth in so few lines!

“Yes, I agree and I must admit that it is very sad the way things are. It is very sad but true. Men over- power women in the society because they bond better. Women have not learnt how to do that yet. Men are staying in power by using our stupidity against us. Its stupidity because, women are busy fighting each other to realise that they are being dominated. We need to understand this because there will be no woman power in this country until women stop making fools of themselves”, opines Amina Garba, a gynecologist.

“I think the major problem with women is jealousy, I can’t really understand why they find it difficult to work hand in hand. I have many female friends that would rather have a guy as her confidant than a lady. I find it really absurd. For me, it is a fellow guy anytime, any day. I think women should learn to appreciate themselves more, it will really help them”, Bello Raji, a civil servant in Abuja said.

Women should realize that we need each other and not to judge each other negatively without reason. Rather than trying to compete with each other, women should try and help one another and put aside differences, jealousy and bias. Let’s learn something from the lyrics, “we’re family, I’ve got all my sisters with me”. Only then can we form a united front. Imagine the things we can achieve if we do that! It’s up to you and I to start the revolution.