Are you your own best advocate or toughest critic?

Do you have trouble standing your ground? Do you tend to see both sides of every single situation? How often do you advocate for yourself, or rather how often do you criticize yourself? Well, if you often criticize yourself, then it means you lack self confidence.Most people do not see anything good in themselves and […]

Do you have trouble standing your ground? Do you tend to see both sides of every single situation? How often do you advocate for yourself, or rather how often do you criticize yourself? Well, if you often criticize yourself, then it means you lack self confidence.
Most people do not see anything good in themselves and tend to be their own toughest critic and making life difficult for themselves. So, why do we often give ourselves unnecessary conditions to speak or do things to ourselves that ordinarily we would not do to others? Shouldn’t we be our own best friends. Why criticize ourselves?
So, how do you advocate more for yourself? Self-promotion or advocacy doesn’t mean being cocky or over-confident. But maybe next time someone offers you a compliment, just smile and say ‘thank you,’ instead of following it up with a “but …”
I’m definitely my toughest critic. I’ve made many mistakes in my life and I am always the one that can’t forgive myself for them. I think it’s partially because I’m terrified of what other people would think. Sometimes I give up so easily on myself that I ever wonder if I would be of any general good to the society.”
“Time and time over people have said to me that if I do not believe or give credit to myself, no one will do it for me. Then, I realized that if I continue to criticize myself, where do I intend to get the desired encouragement I so desire to move on in life? I’m living a better and positive life now but it all had to start with me being my own best advocate. I tell you, if you do not advocate for yourself no one will do it on your behalf. There are a very few people out there who claim to be your friends who will not really stand up and advocate for you,” says Amina Bello Usman.
Honestly, I think being your own advocate does get easier with time. The earlier you learn that if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will….or you realize that things are solved much more quickly when the communication lines are open within you.
Yes, communication within you goes a long way in easing some of the stress. You talk to yourself and try to make yourself see reasons and adjust to some of the facts and realities of life. Understand that not all realities are facts and not all facts are realities. You and only you can decode these things, when to advocate and when to antagonize yourself.
“I am definitely my toughest critic when it comes to certain things in life but I do advocate for myself in situations I feel I am being treated unfairly in both my personal and professional life. I used to worry so much what other people thought about me, but around the time I turned 30, that slowly started fading away and I learned to trust my instincts more. No one does it better than ourselves. We need to stand up to what we believe in and fight for it in a mature way,” says Farouk Jubril.
Ultimately, our husbands, boyfriends, best friends, moms, sisters, children can love us and advocate for us all we want, but if we don’t love ourselves and value ourselves enough to advocate for ourselves then we’re only hurting ourselves personally or professionally. Whatever positivity we intend to come our way, we must first initiate it and it starts with advocating for ourselves no matter what others feel. So, try to focus any ‘critical’ energy towards an ‘advocacy’ energy.