Before the boy child becomes endangered

By Elijah Udofia   So much has been written and said about violence against the female gender and most especially, the girl child. We have heard of how the girl child is abused sexually, physically and emotionally. We have heard of how brothers, uncles and even fathers sexually abused their sisters, nieces and daughters. A […]

By Elijah Udofia

 

So much has been written and said about violence against the female gender and most especially, the girl child. We have heard of how the girl child is abused sexually, physically and emotionally. We have heard of how brothers, uncles and even fathers sexually abused their sisters, nieces and daughters.

A girl child is one who possesses unique traits and characteristics, which make her not only a woman, but also a force to be reckoned with, in a world where strength and virtue are deteriorating on a daily basis.

When society gives the girl child her rightful place, everybody benefits. Girls who are educated, healthy and free can transform their communities when they become mothers and consequently pass on the benefits to their children and even generations yet unborn. And this is why the girl child must be empowered because it is her right.

In Nigeria, one major problem facing the girl child is gender discrimination. Girls are discriminated against based on their gender, both in their communities and in schools, their achievements are not considered as significant as the boys’. Less attention is ever paid to educating girls on topics of their body and health. In some parts of the country, they are often forced into early marriage.

Be that as it may, one noticeable thing is that the plight of the girl child has over the years, received attention from governments, non-governmental organisations, corporate bodies and individuals.

However, it should be said here that what is happening to the girl child, is also happening to the boy child, even in a greater proportion. 

The 2014 report of Violence Against Children Survey showed that 25 per cent of female and 11 per cent of male experienced sexual violence in childhood. This goes to show that the male child also experiences abuse.

The reason why the abuse on the boy child seems not to gain prominence is due to the fact that boys, like men, are seen by the society as stronger sex. 

In African setting, boys are expected to be strong, bear pain and are not expected to show any sign of weakness even at the point of great discomfort.

It is an incontrovertible fact that in some parts of Nigeria, a woman who is unable to give birth to a male child, could lose her matrimonial home. This is because the male child is seen as one who would keep the family’s name going. On the other hand, some sections  see the birth of a male child as a curse and this accounts for why they are left uncared for and eventually turned into tools of destruction by enemies of the society.

While the uncared boys are turning into street urchins, kidnappers, robbers and fraudster in the south, in the north they are turned into almajiris, bandits and terrorists.

When we look at the society today, majority of those who commit suicide  are mainly the male. Talk of drug addicts, miscreants, robbers, kidnappers, terrorists and fraudster, the male child leads. The question now is, why is it that little or no attention is paid to issues that pertain to the male child? Are we saying that the lives of these young men do not matter or the society can do without them?  

While problems faced by the girl child have been brought to the front burners, those of the male child have been overlooked and unrecognised. National Crime Records Bureau statistics for 2018 recorded 21,605 child rapes, of which 204 were of boys. UNICEF in its 2015 report also stated that one in four girls and one in 10 boys in Nigeria experienced sexual abuse.

In the northern part of this country, where there is an Almajiri system, parents shift their responsibilities of caring and educating their male children to religious teachers who in turn send them out to beg for alms to cater for their upkeep. These boys in most cases are the ones used for destruction during the period of crises, especially religious. They become the expendables and cannon feeders that politicians use to achieve their political ends. 

In the Southern part, the case is not different as the street urchins (area boys), now including boys as young as nine and ten years, are used by both the political class and the rich to cause havoc in the country.

Boys, just like girls, also suffer high level of violence, including sexual abuse. The experience they get from this, in turn, makes them more prone to violence as they grow into adults. Boys are easier targets for predators in many ways as they are not as supervised or protected as girls are. There is considerable shame and stigma attached to the abuse of the boy child — he is expected to be strong in a patriarchal society. Such a society deters the boy child from being given help; it is something he is left to deal with by himself.

Male child who has suffered sexual abuse may end up with trauma, depression, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts and always have tendencies for violence. Many of them, especially those without parental or other adult supervision, don’t even understand that they have been sexually abused. These issues are hardly talked about even though they have a bearing on male violence towards the female folks later in life.

While the world is busy fighting the cause of the girl child by ensuring that they are protected and made to attain the best in life, the question is, who is fighting for the right of the boy child? When the girls are all grown up, highly placed in the society and ready for marriage, who will marry them? Is it the uncared boys who would be street urchins in the future that will marry them?

Wouldn’t it be nice if children, irrespective of gender, be equally taken care of, after all, the female needs the male and vice-versa. If we want to maintain the original plan of the Creator, which is the existence of both gender, then issues that affect one should not be given priority over the other.

It is time the issue of abuse of the male child be brought into the discourse and parents, teachers and the community should be more involved in addressing this menace. Boys should not only be taught about what constitutes abuse, but also to voice out when abused.

Governments at all levels, Non-governmental organisations, Corporate bodies and well to do individuals can help by identifying those innocent boys who have been abused and abandoned for rehabilitation. The street urchins, I believe are not beyond redemption as they would be rehabilitated and made to become useful to the society.

Before the male child becomes an endangered species, now is the right time to end the silence on their abuse and neglect.

Udofia, Laderin Estate, Abeokuta.