Better Naija than Venezuela

As they say in these climes, every cloud has a silver lining. The wicked believe that Naija is at its lowest under the Canji government.  The Naira is unlikely to recover from the mortal wounds inflicted by the pugilistically superior American dollar, the pound sterling, the Euro and even the Chinese Yuan. Too many blows […]

As they say in these climes, every cloud has a silver lining. The wicked believe that Naija is at its lowest under the Canji government.  The Naira is unlikely to recover from the mortal wounds inflicted by the pugilistically superior American dollar, the pound sterling, the Euro and even the Chinese Yuan. Too many blows for one young currency. Super minister Raji Fashola has more troubles on his hands than the rashes on his pubescent children’s butt as electricity dipped to zero but may soon be climbing. Naija companies understand that necessity is the mother of invention; they generate their own power staying clear of the shameful national grid.
In Naija, we don’t complain about what could be helped, we innovate. We may not be doing our environment any good as pictures from the UTC Shopping Complex in Abuja testifies, but we were in the front row at the last Climate Change conference in Paris. Give thanks! A thinking nation would have rallied the shop owners to buy one big power set or install solar panels for the complex, but thinking is a hard job that pays little dividends.
Early in the year when Sai Baba reserved the scarce foreign exchange for his foreign junkets, some industrialists complained might shut down, as they would not be able to source for the raw materials at black market rate. It was an empty threat – they are surviving simply by improvising. Parents, including state governments training students abroad have found ingenious ways of meeting school fees without bothering the Central Bank. Such resilience reminds you of the tagline – can’t kill the beetle.
Government houses would rather starve workers or run without commissioners than reduce their governor’s convoy. On May Day, most governors appealed to their workers to be calm and considerate. They even dressed down for a few hours and brazed the scorching sun to take solidarity salute. It is one of the sacrifices they make for their self-preservation. State assemblies have displayed come-raid understanding.
If you think Naija is toast, try Venezuela for size. Why did I remember that? Well, one beautiful October morning in 2010, the late Dora Akunyili appealed to Venezuela for help with Naija refineries. The ambassador, Enrique Fernando Arundeli threw diplomatic caution to the winds and took Naija to the cleaners. He gloated about how Venezuela has managed its oil resources by investing in free education, health and improving social infrastructure. Years later, Hugo Chavez its president died seeking help from Cuban doctors. It turned out; Arundeli was being economical with the truth, which is not unusual in diplomacy.
As workers marked May Day last week, while Naija’s interior ministry declared one-day public holiday, the Venezuela working week shrunk from five to two days a week. While Naija NLC officials were singing songs in churches, Venezuelan workers and citizens moved their clock one hour forward to save on power. Of course, Nicolas Maduro, Venezuela’s new president blames his country’s energy crisis on drought. Apparently the drought has also affected schools, which now run four days a week. It affected malls now mandated to generate their own electricity and to open for half their normal hours. Apparently in Venezuela, the drought has also affected essential commodities as citizens now spend seven hours to buy soaps, milk and toilet paper – blame the drought, blame America.
So, for all the trouble of Naija, here is a candid reason why both Kemi Adeosun and Ndoma Udo Udoma should send a message to their pastors to organize a thanksgiving service. Raji Fashola should talk to his Imam to follow suit. The Naija economy is bad, but at least we have not reduced the number of cars in the president’s convoy nor do we have plans to auction planes from the presidential air fleet.
Some states might not have paid their workers salary but not Edo. Not long ago, Edo secured a $75 million development loan from the World Bank to pilot development, create employment and generate revenue. I am glad to inform that it is yielding dividends although Edolites might not understand how the magic works. As he approaches the eve of his come-raid departure, Oshio Baba has declared an Eldorado for Edo workers – a N25,000 minimum wage. The way things are going, Oshiomole can offer Maduro some advice on turning stagnated economies around.
Edo is not alone, since paying salaries is now a monumental achievement in Naija; some governors have found ingenious ways of satisfying that yearning. Cross-Rivers’ Governor Ayade, accused of running his state from abroad (as if that is an offense) has made his critics eat their own tongues.  While celebrating May Day with them, he arranged for banks to make sure they got the ‘alert’ for their May salary. This may be the first sign that Cross Rivers would be paying salaries in advance. This is another exportable commodity that can benefit Caracas. Next time you see Ambassador Arundeli, tell him – better Naija’s real hell than Venezuela’s imaginary heaven! In case he hasn’t been paid his salary, he should swallow his pride and talk to Kemi Adeosun!