Between a wife or child, who should be next of kin?

A person’s next of kin is usually his or her closest living blood relative or relatives. It has legal definition in some countries and does not have in some countries.According to the General Secretary of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Abuja chapter, Damilola Awesu there is no hard and fast rule about who […]

A person’s next of kin is usually his or her closest living blood relative or relatives. It has legal definition in some countries and does not have in some countries.
According to the General Secretary of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Abuja chapter, Damilola Awesu there is no hard and fast rule about who should be a next-of-kin but when one looks at it from the perspective that one has sweated for an organisation and there is something to be gained the immediate relative of the person should be the ones to benefit and these can include his wife, children, siblings and parents among others.
She adds it is a question of relationship and you are entitled to choose whoever you prefer.
Asked if one can use many people as next of kin, she said usually one person is used to avoid confusion.
In Nigeria most people use either their child who is most of the time their first son, their wife or brothers and other relatives and even friends. Decades ago because many women were not lettered, people used their brothers or any male relative as next of kin.
However, there were several cases of suspicion and misunderstandings where brothers or any male relatives were used with the wives and children of the deceased complaining of such relatives taking everything or giving them very little of what is their entitlement.
So these days most men choose either their wives or children. However, some men still face the dilemma of who to choose between the two. Wife or child in this story also refers to wives and children in a polygamous setting.
Francis Udemezue said a man’s wife should be his next of kin and in his Will, he can then write who should own what between his wife, children and other people.
Hajiya Salamatu on her part said it should neither be the wife nor child of the man but his brother.
She said: “In our place, we don’t see the next of kin as the person who will inherit the property but someone who will help the deceased’s wife and children process his entitlements especially when the wife is not exposed.”
Austine Oche said it depends on the relationship between the man and his wife. He said ideally it should be the man’s wife as she is the one to take care of the children when he is gone but some women are bad so using a wife as next of kin should be subject to the woman’s character.
“ If the woman is nice and kind, she should be used as the next of kin, so that she doesn’t face problem with the man’s relatives when something happens to him and freely support the children with the inheritance,” he said.
He said some children are very bad and may not share the money with their siblings when used as next of kin.
Mallam Auwal said a man’s child should be used as his next of kin and not his wife because, “his child will always remain his child but his wife could be someone’s wife one day after he divorces her or he dies.”
Alex Enemali said a man’s wife can be his next of kin while his children are still young but as life progresses and they have children, it should be changed to their children once they are becoming matured.
Alhaji Mohammed Sidi said naturally a man’s wife should be his next of kin because when he dies she becomes the head of the family but he should do that based on what he anticipates to be the problem his wife is likely to face when he is no more.
He said if his wife is educated and powerful it will be a smooth ride but if she is not, she may face problems. He adds that who should be next of kin also depends on the circumstances around the wife or child.
Asked what happens in situations where the man has more than one wife, he said it is allowed for the man to put more than one next of kin but he should stipulate the percentage of each person in his Will.
According to him Islam allows an adherent to write a will before he dies but limits you to the maximum you can ascribe to an individual. “You are not allowed to ascribe more than fifty percent of the property to an individual. Also in Islam once you have children no one has any right to touch your property except your living parent,” he said.
Chinyere Abam, a mother said it depends on the family concerned. She said some feel more comfortable using their children especially where the man knows his wife is likely to face problems with his relatives when he is no more. They believe if their son is the next of kin the family will then not fight his wife over his property.
Maria Ejolo said it should be the wife because they are in better position to take care of the children with money adding that out of 100 women less than five percent of them will mismanage the money or neglect the children.
She said another relative on the other hand will put his or her interests and that of his own children above those of the deceased even when he knows it is their father’s money.
Pastor DB Smith of God’s Universal Spirit Outreach Ministry (GUSOM) Minna , Niger State said the man’s child and that is his first son should be a man’s next of kin.
He said the scripture stipulates in the books of Deuteronomy and Leviticus that a man’s first son, who also has his blood should inherit his property adding that he can share it with his siblings, mother and other persons.
He said where the man has no son his daughter should be his next of kin and when he has no children his brother should be his next of kin.
The Director and Imam of Al-Habibiyah Islamic Society of Nigeria, Sheik Fuad Adeyemi, said it is the children that should be the next of kin as far as Islam is concerned.
“If one is having one wife, it may be a different case. But for one with more than one wife, there has to be other considerations. Also the children may likely live longer and be more trust worthy,” Adeyemi said.
Next week we shall look at it from the married woman point of view.