Biafra: How I locked myself in a hotel in Enugu

About four weeks ago, just before Ramadan, I locked myself in an Enugu hotel room – interestingly, the name of the beautiful hotel is The Hotel. It was my birthday. I was fasting. It was around the time of the sit-at-home order issued by IPOB. But trouble found me even before I stepped into Enugu. […]

About four weeks ago, just before Ramadan, I locked myself in an Enugu hotel room – interestingly, the name of the beautiful hotel is The Hotel. It was my birthday. I was fasting. It was around the time of the sit-at-home order issued by IPOB.

But trouble found me even before I stepped into Enugu.  The departure from Abuja was scheduled for 12 noon.  But my colleague called that the travel agent called that the airline brought the flight forward to 10am. So I missed the flight.

I’ve heard of delays.  But never heard of a flight leaving two hours earlier than the departure time.  I bet even the International Air Transport Association (IATA) doesn’t have a regulation for this.

So I marched to the airport.  The airline tossed me from one person to the other.  Until I settled on the desk of one manager, a lovely lady.  So I told her: “You created this problem, solve it.”

She apologized and changed my flight to the next day.  But the damage had been done: Uber taxi from the city to the airport is N3,000.  During peak period, which can be any time, it’s N6,000.  So if you came to the airport, missed your flight and go back to the city, that is N6,000 in wasted transportation.  If you were unfortunate to come during peak period, that is N12,000 down the drain.

But I was lucky my friends took me to the airport. Great guys, Bashir Abe and Ibrahim Yarima.

So I landed in Enugu.

Even on the plane, I viewed every person as potential possession grabber.  After all, the southeast is a place where armed robbery takes place in day light.

I suspiciously eyed the guy at the reception who was asked to help with my luggage and show me my room.  “Give me my bag!”  I didn’t say.  But after he left me in the room, the feeling that he would come back and rob me lingered.

I had two papers to present in two days. But because of the glitch in the itinerary, I was allowed to take both in one day.

After the presentations, I went back to the room.  Sunset.  It was time for iftar.  With what would I break my fast?  Order room service?  That would take too long and would grant an opportunity for someone to come into my room and rob me. Go out to eat?  Am I crazy?

Fortunately, during a short break, during my presentation, food was shared.  I took mine to go. Problem was, the food was meat-pie and a coke.  But I don’t take Coke. Once addicted to it, I no longer care for it.

However, I had not eaten for 14 hours.  I checked the fridge.  They forgot to put a bottle of water in there. But there’s tea and a kettle.  And sugar. I don’t take sugar.  Also, once addicted to it, I no longer care for it. Milk is even out of the question, because I’m lactose intolerant.  I learned 25% of men are. I belong to the unfortunate quarter.  So I usually squeeze lime into my tea so that I can swallow it.  

What to do?

Why don’t you add some of the Coke to the tea?  So Coke and tea would be tasteful enough to wash down the meat-pie.  The meat pie! There’s the little matter of the meat pie  – is the meat in it halal?

However, I persuaded my mind not to think like that.  Just eat the food.  So I ate the food.  Laid a towel on the floor and said my prayers.  Later I went straight to sleep after clicking around in the laptop.

Soon it was a beautiful morning.  A gentleman has been found to take me to the airport.

It was on the way to the airport that I became a rational human being and reflected on the previous day of paranoia.  Did anyone grab your stash (the stash was only a laptop and a few clothes)?  

On the contrary, people were nice to me, including The Hotel staff. 

For example, take the driver who took me to airport, he chatted non-stop. He accepted to take me to the airport for N3,000 even though they usually charge N3,500.  Yet, before I came to my senses,  when I arrived at the airport the day before and asked the taxi service how much to my hotel and they said N3,500, I interpreted that as a confirmation that they wanted to cheat me  – because I looked like a northerner!

My friendly driver educated me about the city.  He said there are different layouts.  Where the hotel is located  is called Independence Layout.  I asked him about the coal mines.  He also showed me the Mercedes plant.

Two, while landing in Enugu, I looked through the window and loved the green vegetation under us. I thought it was beautiful.  But more importantly I saw some beautiful buildings and some poor ones – just like any city in Nigeria.  Just like the north.  They are human beings too!

Three, when taking off from Abuja, I was worried that the Igbo chief sitting with me didn’t switch off his mobile phones.  When I looked at what he was doing, he was obviously quickly emailing his “field staff.”  I studied him for the second time; he looked respectable.  Out of self-preservation and the uncertainty of the next few hours, I told myself: “make him your friend!”

So when we landed and asked him if the N3,500 the taxi service was charging me was justified he said yes. However, if I wasn’t in hurry, I could ride with him. So, he told his driver to drop me off at my hotel before taking him to his own hotel!  That’s generous!

When he learned that I was in Malaysia, he said he visited the country too. And conceded that “my brothers from the Southeast are messing up the place.”

He told me he had been to Minna, and complained of our bad roads. He also said he thought I was a medical doctor because he thought I was too young to be a PhD. But I heard that as a compliment. We discussed our corrupt leaders, etc. Generally, a normal conversation.

The point of this story is that we are all humans and therefore, absent our specific idiosyncrasies, we are not too different.  

That said, are the Igbos sometimes too aggressive to notice that they grate the sensibilities of their compatriots and others? Yes.  Is that enough to make trouble over? No. Should they be given Biafra? Why not?