Bilal exceeds his brief

My younger brother Bilal had made much progress with the Governor’s sister since Maikahon Karo and Tsinin Kusa ordered him to court and eventually marry her as part of our strategy to neutralise His Excellency’s preference for Goshin Bauna as his successor in next year’s elections. Even though Bilal initially objected to the idea on […]

My younger brother Bilal had made much progress with the Governor’s sister since Maikahon Karo and Tsinin Kusa ordered him to court and eventually marry her as part of our strategy to neutralise His Excellency’s preference for Goshin Bauna as his successor in next year’s elections. Even though Bilal initially objected to the idea on the grounds that “the girl is not cool,” he later warmed up to it and he quickly made more progress than we thought was possible.
Bilal’s progress often meant a dent in my wallet. He kept coming to Maikaho for money, saying he promised to take the girl and her friends to this spot today and to that spot tomorrow. He was always buying chocolates, pizzas, yogurberry, kebabs and ice creams. He was all over the city’s pastries, fruit shops and cosmetic stores. One day he demanded to buy a Blackberry; within days he came and said he needed the Z 10 model because the one he bought does not download large music files. Maikahon Karo soon learnt from his inside agents that Bilal had made it inside the Government House’s living quarters. One day he was seen ensconced in the First Lady’s living room, sipping tea and pastries with several butlers attending to him. One of Maikaho’s agents overheard the First Lady telling a maid that her in-law was sitting in the living room, that they should attend to him very well.
One day, from my upper floor bedroom I heard a car honking incessantly by the gate. When I peeped through the window, I saw that the car had Government House number plates, TFGH 33. A man came out of the car; he was holding a big paper carton. Our gateman collected it and brought it inside. When I went down to the living room, I saw that it was a four-storey birthday cake for Bilal. The last time I remembered his birthday was when he was a year old but today, Government House is marking his birthday in grand style. Bilal soon emerged from his room behind the house and said I should lend to him my Mercedes 450 because he was going to one of the guest chalets in Government House for his birthday party.
Initially, my campaign managers and I were happy. We thought our plan was working well so I did not mind the money I was spending to finance Bilal’s politically motivated courtship. However, we soon realised that rather than pursuing the girl as part of our political plan, Bilal was off on his own in a whirlwind romance. He has completely forgotten the purpose of the courtship. He was becoming so close to the girl and her family that he was beginning to take part in their political machinations against me, his elder brother.
It was my third wife Goggon Abuja that first alerted me to the danger. She said Bilal entered her living room while she was admiring a new lace material that she ordered from Austria. He asked her what it was for, and she playfully told him that she intends to wear it on the day of my inauguration. To her horror Bilal said, “Why won’t Alhaji forget about his aspiration? If Goshin Bauna wins the election it is all the same to us. Huraira told me that Antie Uwani [Goshin Bauna’s wife] said when her husband becomes the governor, she will give Huraira and I a guest chalet in the Government House to live in when we marry.”
Before I even digested that one, another more ominous story was brought by Tsinin Kusa. He said Bilal was seen at Point of No Return, Goshin Bauna’s campaign office, and he was helping to distribute campaign posters to different local governments. When Tsinin Kusa accosted him and asked him why, Bilal said it was Huraira that said they should go there to see Antie Uwani, and when they found her distributing posters, they decided to help her.
 There and then, Maikahon Karo said we must stop that unholy affair. He called Bilal many unprintable names, saying he had forgotten so soon the reason why he was told to pursue the girl and now she had sucked him into Goshin Bauna’s campaign. That night, Maikaho and Tsinin Kusa together called Bilal and told him to stop courting the Governor’s sister, that we are no longer interested in the marriage. But Bilal said, “Uncle Maikaho, I am already in love with that girl and she loves me too. Please allow me to go ahead and marry her. I don’t want to break her heart. All her friends are looking forward to our marriage. They will be very sad if they hear that I am quitting.”
Maikaho looked at Bilal angrily and said, “You are not going to marry that girl, you hear? Don’t talk to me about useless love. Love din banza! Am I not the one who said you should chase her so it will help our politics? But the foolish boy that you are, you are even allowing her to drag you to Goshin Bauna’s office. You should forget about her, you hear? If I hear that you are seen with her again, see what I will do to you. Foolish boy!”
In the end Bilal had to be taught a lesson. Only two days after he was warned, he slipped out of his room in the night, took Goggon Abuja’s Peugeot 307 car and disappeared. Unknown to Bilal, our Youth Wing leader Maitawaye had arranged for his boys to follow him. At around 11 o’clock that night they found Bilal with Huraira and two of her friends at Pizza Hut. They were laughing and gisting and sipping ice cream. Suddenly two rough looking boys walked in. One of them yanked the music earphones off Bilal’s ears, smashed the large ice cream pack on the table and confiscated the MP3 music player. The other one pushed Bilal to the ground and slapped him. Before you could say pizza, the three girls jumped from their seats and fled in all directions.