Breadths of maturity

Maturity is an English word that could be used to denote several meanings depending on the context in which it is used. While it ordinarily means attainment of adulthood in the life of an individual, it could mean ripeness when used in relation to plants. In both, it refers to the state of being fully […]

Maturity is an English word that could be used to denote several meanings depending on the context in which it is used. While it ordinarily means attainment of adulthood in the life of an individual, it could mean ripeness when used in relation to plants. In both, it refers to the state of being fully grown and developed. It could also infer wisdom, responsibility, expertise or experience in a particular field of knowledge. A writer who, for instance, does not mince words in his writings could be said to be a matured writer. In this wise, it signifies “the quality of thinking or behaviour in a sensible, adult manner”. In business, maturity would mean the time when money invested shall be ready for payment.

Maturity in age is defined by Islam as the period when one becomes absolutely responsible for all his/her actions. This is the time Islam places certain restrictions upon the individual to regulate his movement within the family circle especially as he interacts with persons of the opposite gender. It is within the context of this delineation that Allah  says in Qur’an 24:59 “But when the children among you come of age, let them (also) ask for permission, as do those older than them (in age); …”

Now, how does or should a man utilize maturity as a function of inter-personal relationships that exist between him and other members of the social groups in which he lives? A good sense of maturity should guide a son/daughter to accept without any complaints the favourable as well bitter decisions of his/her parents. A mature child does all that is expected of him/her without being told to do so. Without waiting for instructions, a mature son follows his father to the farm, washes his father’s clothes, cut the bushes around the house and does not wait until resumption date to remind his father about his school fees. A mature daughter helps her mother in the kitchen, keeps the home tidy, and cares much about the type of friends she makes. She actively helps her mother in all house duties. Without mincing words, a father or mother who, out of ‘love’, takes orders from his/her son or daughter has no sense of maturity. Such parents are physically adults but psychologically childish, and therefore, immature.

It is maturity for a husband to refuse to react violently or with a letter of divorce when extremely provoked by his wife. Maturity is the ability to control anger without causing harm to anyone. It’s maturity, not cowardice, for a husband to say: “I’m sorry” to his wife when he’s at fault. Maturity is the ability of a wife to know the likes and dislikes of her husband. Maturity prevents a wife from doing anything to the dislike of her husband. Maturity guides a woman to understand and live peacefully not only with the other wives of her husband but also with her husband’s relations. Like conscience, maturity makes both the husband and the wife sincerely committed to things that hold their marriage together.

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Life has never been as challenging to Nigerians as experienced in recent years. While the burdens of survival keep increasing every day, the resources get fewer and devaluated; making life more difficult every hour every minute every second. Yet, a good sense of maturity could lessen the pains of a deregulated economy; making life worth living. Maturity is the capacity to face challenges and realities of life without being bitter over anything. With maturity, one does not give up his perseverance until he is able to extract the elements of greatness from the depths of hardship and defeat. 

Maturity enables one to live above worries and depressions. It makes us worry less about things we naturally do not have any solutions. Maturity is the capacity to admit the fact that whatever is without remedy should be without regard. Maturity guarantees our safe landing in the face of irresistible challenges of modern life. It gives us relief from anxieties. Maturity involves the ability to live in peace with people and things we cannot change. Maturity means peace with neighbours and respect for constituted authority. It is also not maturity to transfer aggression from its source to another. We need maturity to make peace between people.

It is not maturity to shout people’s names from distance. To visit people at odd hours is not maturity. To be lousy or quarrelsome is not an attribute of a mature person. Maturity requires the most intelligent to listen and tolerate the divergent opinions of others, without holding any prejudices. Anyone who fights in the public is deficient in maturity. The teacher who beats his student out of anger lacks maturity. A friend who cannot overlook the shortcomings of a close confidant has no maturity. Politicians who slap themselves, scatter documents, or fight during plenary sessions are juvenile leaders. The driver who shouts at passengers and the trader who insults customers both lack maturity. The wealthy that gives only to be praised or flattered has no maturity.

Maturity inspires contentment, kindness, courtesy, sympathy and a general feeling of humility. Maturity makes a responsible father and mother. And only with maturity could an individual make a name and sustain it. We need maturity to learn or teach effectively. Meaningful co-operation requires maturity. We need maturity to perfect all that we do in the breadth of maturity. Whenever we talk, let’s therefore talk with maturity, listen with maturity, look with maturity, think with maturity, eat with maturity, smell with maturity, walk with maturity, play with maturity, read with maturity, write with maturity, and act with a sense of maturity in all circumstances. May Allah grant us the aptitude to think and act with maturity, at all times and in all places, amin.