Buhari: New Andrews may check out

Ekpendu heads the Naija Prisons Service. He comes fully loaded like the 2015 Range Rover Sports having obtained both a Masters and a PhD from the University of Nsukka. His PhD was acquired before Pius Adesanmi concluded it meant Port Harcourt Degree. It is important to make the distinction because with a Port Harcourt Degree […]

Ekpendu heads the Naija Prisons Service. He comes fully loaded like the 2015 Range Rover Sports having obtained both a Masters and a PhD from the University of Nsukka.
His PhD was acquired before Pius Adesanmi concluded it meant Port Harcourt Degree. It is important to make the distinction because with a Port Harcourt Degree you are not qualified to access any Canadian higher institution or apply as a skilled worker. The World Education Services, WES, a group that evaluates degrees for the Canadian market pointedly does not evaluate Port Harcourt degrees. I wouldn’t know if it had anything to do with a certain zoologist who claimed to have a degree from there and whose thesis has not been cited by anyone. It may be that the opposition visited their Toronto office just like they visited Jacob Zuma and stopped the arms sale.
Dr. Ekpendu’s appointment comes at a time when the prisons needed reform. The presidential decree announcing his appointment was so eager to showcase his PhD that they forgot to tell us his discipline. Not to worry, anyone who obtained a PhD in 1988 from Nsukka must have a brain infused with grey matter and not shekpe.
Most of us would be closely watching Dr Ekpendu’s performance now that the incorruptible one has won the primaries at the Teslim Balogun Stadium in Lagos. The man who is described as a serial loser by one Egba bastard (he asked to be so-called before anyone sends hired killers after me), is a known anti- corruption crusader. For those whose anti-graft barometer makes a clear distinction between ordinary stealing and corruption, they may need to befriend Dr. Ekpendu if Buhari wins in 2015. It would not matter whether they have mansions in Lekki, Aja, Maitama or Asokoro, Dr. Ekpendu would be their new landlord.
Buhari’s Channelstv interview showed that the ‘converted democrat’ has not lost his anti-graft posture. He has not promised to send a bill to the Irrational Assembly to tinker with the controversial immunity clause, no, he has the patience of the vulture. That means that rather than retire to a life of dozing in the day and chasing their grandchildren at night, blatantly corrupt governors may have serious problems retiring to the red chamber in 2015. State governors are known to assist the police in their efforts to curtail the excesses of the opposition, it is time to start doing more for the prisons if they envisage a peaceful retirement.
Last weekend shifted the tectonic plate of the political bedrock of the nation. It became evident that the fear of prison is the beginning of wisdom. The forces of impunity and mbunity are set to clash with the forces of prudence and accountability. It is now in the hands of the people to wait for the day President Jones redeems his latest pledge not to disappoint the people or vote for change. Yes, a lot of people have not been disappointed in the past six years. Among them, ex-convicts who became patron saints of the ruining party, ex-ministers and offspring of corrupt rulers whose charges were eased off their necks like ripe mangoes.
Yes, Naija people have disappointed General Buhari twice and have been TANned so much they now have skin cancer and kwashiorkor, the power to make change is not in heaven, it is actually in our thumbs and our PVC.  It looks to me that VIPs need not fear a Buhari presidency, their titles would be kept intact in Dr Ekpendu’s estate – yes – very important prisoners.  
It may not be advertised on billboards, but the fear of Buhari is the beginning of wisdom, the installation of Buhari is the institutionalization of prudence and accountability. On this Sunday, may I wear my prophetic toga and predict with TB accuracy that a new set of Andrews would be checking out soon – the emergency billionaires without a visible means of livelihood. These new set would make Enebeli Elebuwa’s Andrew look like a saint. What more, it would make the late Thespian adjust in his grave and sleep well. I predict, that the Naija Immigration Service would be very busy in the campaigning months issuing new passports or renewing abandoned ones. I predict that some foreign embassies would see a boost in business as the camels of sleaze attempt to pass through the needle eye of prosecution with their ill-gotten gains. Looking at the Crystal Ball over the weekend, I see all those who received honour for their stealing throwing up all over the place. The thumb of enlightened Naija voters shall accomplish this.