Can you be a true friend?

The test of true friendship is when faced with realities of life. That is when we know the sincerity of our friends. We all have relatives and families, however, some people feel more comfortable with their friends than their relations for advice and inspiration. When can we call a friend a true friend, can the […]

The test of true friendship is when faced with realities of life. That is when we know the sincerity of our friends. We all have relatives and families, however, some people feel more comfortable with their friends than their relations for advice and inspiration.
When can we call a friend a true friend, can the other fellow call us a true friend too? Have you ever put the integrity of your friendship with your partner to test, or have you ever felt used by your friends? Many people are continually faced by these questions and the difficult challenge in finding true friends. So, you are not alone in this dilemma.
Last week a friend narrated how she was hurt   was because she felt stabbed in the back by someone she held so dear to her heart. In a way she felt rejected and betrayed. She   said she   confided in her friend sensitive issues,  but was surprised that these same issues were used against her. Now, she is facing the dilemma of her life trying to safe her career.
The simple question on the mind of this lady is who are our true friends? Would they always be there for us and even defend our dignity in our darkest hour?  The value of friendship has been eroded by those who have taken advantage of the true meaning of the word ‘friendship’.  Most of those we see as friends are mostly manipulative and deceitful people who abuse the trust of their supposed friends for their own selfish needs. This is a problem mostly associated with women.
“We all have friends we interact with everyday, but what kind of friend would go on using whatever you have told her in confidence to dent or tarnish your image. And at the same time will come back and tell you supposed things that have been said about you. To me, that is not a friend, but a devil in human skin. I would dine with such a friend with a very long spoon, because such a person does not have your interest at heart. Such a friend will surely not stand by you at a time of need,” Zainab Ismaila an educationist said.
Friendship is something that is different for everyone, but for most it is something that has been nurtured and cherished and is mostly believed to last a life time. Friendship is with someone you can share your deepest thought with, someone you can trust explicitly. A true friend would be concerned about what happens to you and all assuring that everything will be alright and not bugging you with questions about how you ended up in whatever circumstances   you find yourself.
“A true friend will hold and comfort you when you need someone to talk to, a friend would give you a shoulder to lean on when you need to cry, they will never judge your actions instead they will advise when you take a wrong step, they will share every emotion you are going trough in life likewise will they share whatever burden that you have. A true friend would never scorn you or look down on you. A true friend would never embarrass you publicly neither will she/he expose whatever you told her/him in confidence. Any friend that does any of these isn’t worthy of being your friend,” says Hafsat Abdulamalik, a medical consultant.
Do you have a true friend who fits into all these? Knowing what being a true friend entails, assessing yourself, can you say you are a true friend to any one of your friends you consider to be worthy of the friendship? Abandoning our friends in times of their darkest hour is one flaw most of us have either consciously or subconsciously. Our friends are an extension of our lives and happiness, with them we share our greatest moments and happiness in times of needs and lean on them in times of our deepest despair, friends are a chosen extension of our families by us, so why abandon them at the time when they need us most in our lives. Friends are our choosing so we need to cherish them even more knowing very well that they have equally chosen to be our true friends.
A true friend is a little more than a very good friend as someone once said “if you have a true friend count yourself lucky and if you can also become a true friend to someone, you are blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give.” This statement is very true of the kind of friendship most of us have. True friendship is challenging and exciting, it overlook faults but also involves being truthful even if the truth might hurt sometimes. Beyond true friendship involves shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see each other grow and develop and hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his or her own interest, a true friend will come forth and help without being asked and without expecting anything in return. In your hour of depression a true friend will support you even if the whole world is against you. A true friend will go out of their way to bring happiness and understanding no matter the cost.
Through the years friends will come and go but a true friend will always be there forever no matter what. So the question remains what kind of friend will or are you? Are you the type that will stick to yours or one that will eventually abandon them when they need you most in their trial period in life?