Candidates for grave sand

‘I thought Mahmoud was the only person sitting for WASC in this house,’ Tahir said, standing behind me at my writing table. ‘However, here you are with pen and paper, a calculator and some newspapers, looking like you too have an exam to sit for at any moment.’ ‘Ha ha ha, no one calls it […]

‘I thought Mahmoud was the only person sitting for WASC in this house,’ Tahir said, standing behind me at my writing table. ‘However, here you are with pen and paper, a calculator and some newspapers, looking like you too have an exam to sit for at any moment.’
‘Ha ha ha, no one calls it WASC these days, hubby dearest. They all know it as WAEC. So take note, unless you are talking to oldies like me, the new generation doesn’t know what WASC means.’ I replied, laughing.
‘But WASC is the correct name because it stands for West African school certificate. WAEC however is the name of the education council which organizes the exams and stands for West African Examinations council. How can the two be interchangeable?’ Tahir wondered.
‘Well they are not only interchangeable but one has already taken over the other. Except for you and a few others, no one says WASC anymore and few know what it means.’ I replied having turned back to look at him.
‘I see, so why are looking like someone preparing for an exam, or are you making research for a paper presentation?’ he asked, sitting on my bedroom chair.
‘No I was just doing some calculations based on this news report.’ I replied showing a newspaper headline.
‘But on a cool Saturday morning when you should think of more important things to do than that?’ he asked.
‘More important things to do like what?’ I asked, smiling.
‘Like joining me for a weekend morning cuddle, for instance.’ He answered, smiling back.
‘Well, from what I know, every Saturday you leave for golf as soon as you round up your morning devotions with two raka’ats after sunrise.’
I declared.
‘But not on a cool rainy morning like today. Indeed when I finished those two raka’ats and rose to look at the light rain on my window, the first thing I remembered was your favourite love song. And that was why I decided to come looking for you.’ He confessed.
‘My favourite love song?’ I asked wondering which song he meant.
‘Yes, you know it has the image of rain, window morning etc.’ he recalled.
‘Or you mean ‘Just the two of us’ by Grover Washington and Bill
Withers.’ I offered.
‘I really don’t know who sang it but I know it was your favourite song. When we got married, you always moved around our fourth floor apartment singing it and I had no choice but to cram the words. They were something like, “I see the crystal raindrops fall, and the beauty of the dawn, when the sun comes shining through.”’ Tahir sang.
“To make the rainbow in my mind, when I think of you sometimes, and I wanna spend some time with you. Just the two of us.” I concluded the song for him and we burst out laughing.
‘See, I was right. It was your favourite love song, just see how easily you remembered the lyrics.’ He insisted.
‘It must have been yours too, because you remembered the words even before I did.’ I said.
‘Yes, but now it doesn’t matter whose favourite song it is, what matters is that it chased the thought of golf from my mind and set me in the mood for a cuddle. But there you are, all dressed up and surrounded by papers, pens and calculators. What are you working on?’ he asked.
‘Well knowing that your Saturday mornings are always dedicated to golf, I decided to use my lonely hours to agonise over the state of our nation. I mean look at the headline I gave you. It made me wonder how our country can ever develop with the level of kleptomania we see in high places. They said the Chief lawmaker, once sent an aide to deposit money in a bank fifty times in one day. I have wondered not only at the amount of dishonesty that made such a thing possible but also at how such a feat was achievable in a day.’ I observed.
‘What do you mean Bint. Are you saying you doubt the story?’ Tahir asked.
‘No I am saying that I feel amazed at the amount of corruption and desperation that made such a thing possible.  You see as someone who has been interacting with banks for over two decades, I know that even in the best of times, one can hardly go into a bank, fill a deposit slip, pay and come out in less than twenty minutes. But let’s say this particular aide was very lucky, each time it took him only 15 or 20 minutes to make his deposit and go. How many such trips can he make in one day before banking services close? Remember banking services commence at 8am and let’s assume the governor’s aide or two aides as some newspapers reported, started bringing in those deposits at exactly 8 o’clock. How many trips can they possibly make before 4pm when banking services close? Also recall that he or they were bringing in those cheques in figures of six hundred and nine hundred thousand each. So what I was trying to do with this calculator was to find out how many deposits were possible within banking hours and how many were possibly done outside them. I want to ascertain whether the banking staff also bent over backwards to accept deposits after banking hall was officially  closed, in order to humour the then state governor.
Otherwise I can’t see how those 50 deposits were possible in one day.’
I wondered.
‘Ok Bint so what will you do if you confirm to yourself that indeed those deposit were made after banking hours? Rush to the EFCC or the newspapers to say the bankers are also criminals who should be arrested?’ He demanded.
‘No, I will just convince myself that there was so much desperation to make that money disappear that many illegal steps were taken to achieve it. Like I said I was just trying to while away the time doing a brainteaser since I thought I was about to have another lonely morning while you were at golf. You know with Little Bint in boarding school, once I round up my morning prayer, recitations and supplications, my only choices are either to return to sleep or engage in some intellectual exercise like this one, before it is time to make breakfast. And since this was an issue that occupied my mind since the lawmaker’s trial started, I found it a worthy distraction.’ I explained.
‘Add to this the story of the former governors-turn-senators who are busy collecting pensions and salaries after making away with huge severance pay from their states, and you have the perfect picture of a country with morally bankrupt lawmakers. What a pity.’ He lamented.
‘Yes, it’s a real pity. When I made up my mind to do those calculations today, I couldn’t help recalling the Hadith that said some people are so greedy about worldly wealth that nothing can satisfy them but the sand of the grave. In other words, they will continue to strive and use all means, fair and foul to enrich themselves and until death overcomes them they will never be able to stop themselves.’ I pontificated.
‘That’s true, I hope they repent and reform themselves before they become real candidates for that grave sand.’ Tahir agreed.
‘I hope so too.’ I concurred.
‘Meanwhile we better forget those avaricious politicians and take advantage of this cool, rainy weekend morning. In other words, it’s time to cuddle.’ Tahir declared, rising from my bedroom chair to extend a hand to me.