“Closer than a Garment: Marital Intimacy According to the Pure Sunnah”
Every person who intends to get married or is already married should own a copy of this book! I’ve actually ordered the whole “The Muslim Family” series but from different suppliers and Book 2 -”Closer than a Garment” was delivered first, so I started to read it, and can you believe it, I finished the […]
Every person who intends to get married or is already married should own a copy of this book! I’ve actually ordered the whole “The Muslim Family” series but from different suppliers and Book 2 -”Closer than a Garment” was delivered first, so I started to read it, and can you believe it, I finished the whole book in a day I didn’t want to put it down. It would have been beneficial if I was given these books when I got married, but in sha Allah khair, next time I hear of someone getting married I know what I’m going to get them.
“Closer than a garment” includes everything you need to know about marital intimacy. In the book you will find the Islamic etiquettes of intimacy, prohibited acts of intimacy (discussing anal intercourse, intercourse during menstruation, oral sex and exposing intimate secrets) , Janabah (the state you become after certain acts of sexual intimacy) and how to perform Ghusl (ritual bathing), the definition of the ‘Awrah for men and women and the obligations for covering the ‘Awrah, different forms of Zina (adultery and fornication) and their consequences, masturbation, homosexuality, other perversions and aberrations plus what forms of birth control are lawful in Islam and information about all available contraceptives. The book also includes two appendixes. The first on human sexuality, it includes diagrams of the anatomy of males and females, names and definitions, sexual development, the physiology of sex, sexual dysfunctions in regards to both men and women and information on sexually transmitted diseases. The second appendix is basic Arabic terminology, it contains information about translating and referencing The Qur’an and Hadith, the Arabic days and Islamic months and a glossary of common terms which would be beneficial to a reader who is new to Islam or is unfamiliar with Islamic terminology.
One other thing I loved about this book was the cover, it’s feminine, pretty in pink with pretty flowers, BUT I also think it could be a deterrent for potential male readers. “The Muslim Family” series is jam packed with information that is valuable to both men and women, so I have to question why they would use such feminine covers on this series. Maybe they should release it again in macho colours for men, or they could issue the next edition in unisex colours. It would be a pity for the book to be judged by its cover, but lets be honest the first thing that stands out is the cover and it was one of the reasons I purchased the set, it appealed to me as a woman, I thought ‘wouldn’t it look nice on my bookshelf’ and I can’t see a man on a train or bus, commuting to work reading a pretty pink book, that would draw attention.
I learnt a few new things from this book, for instance the Prophet Muhammad gave reasons to why a child is male or female and why the child looks like the mother or the father. The rulings on oral sex is also something new I came across, there are some topics that I’ve had to reference numerous books and fatawas to find a ruling on, and I have found them all in this book. Some Muslim/ah’s find it hard to approach someone else about sexual questions, or are embarrassed to buy a book about sex, so how are they going to know what to expect and what is permissible and forbidden? Once again I recommend this book, you need to at least have read one book on intimacy, this one has to be one of the best books on intimacy, it covers everything and brings proof to the table, so order it online for yourself your for your friend or family member.
I’ll leave you with a quote from the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s about intimacy with your wife being charity and surely it is proof that intimacy done according to The Qur’an and Sunnah is the best way :
Abu Tharr (r.a) reported that some of the companions of Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w.s) complained to him. “O Allah’s Messenger! The wealthy people have taken away all of the rewards. The pray as we do and fast as we do, and they give charities from their extra monies.”
He (s.a.w.s) replied:
“But has Allah not given you that which you may offer as charity? Verily, every tasbih (saying “Subhan Allah- Exalted be Allah”) is charity; every takbir (saying “Allahu akbar- Allah is the Greatest”) is charity; every tahlil (saying “La ilaha illallah- There is no true deity except Allah”) is a charity; every tahmud (saying “Al-hamdu lillah- Praise be to Allah”) is a charity; commanding good is a charity; forbidding the evil is a charity; and having intercouser (with your wife) is a charity. And all of those (charities) may be encompassed by two rakat that one would pray in the mid-morning.”
The companions asked, “O Allah’s Messenger, would one of us fulfil his desire and yet get a reward for that?”
He (s.a.w.s) responded:
“Assume that he directed it towards a prohibition (zina), would that not result in a burden for him? Therefore, if he directs it toward that which is permissible (his wife), he gets a reward for it.”
(Muslim, Ahmad and others)