Column No.6: If Eedris Abdulkareem opens his mouth…

Eedris Abdulkareem may not be too well-known to Gen Z, but he’s a folk hero of sorts for conscious Nigerians, especially those who love good music that carries a strong message. Arguably his biggest hit, ‘Jaga-Jaga’ in its day called out ills bedeviling Nigeria during the days of President Olusegun Obasanjo. The word ‘jaga-jaga’ is […]

Eedris Abdulkareem may not be too well-known to Gen Z, but he’s a folk hero of sorts for conscious Nigerians, especially those who love good music that carries a strong message. Arguably his biggest hit, ‘Jaga-Jaga’ in its day called out ills bedeviling Nigeria during the days of President Olusegun Obasanjo. The word ‘jaga-jaga’ is borne of Pidgin, and roughly means chaotic, or disorganised, or even worse. An urban legend has it that Obasanjo then retorted at an event when asked about the song, that it’s Eedris’ papa who’s jaga-jaga. Well, fast-forward to today’s reality, and that song would fit perfectly with what’s going on. Maybe too perfectly, even.

Take the issue of the day, for instance. Yes, the whole Dangote-NNPC-fuel-price-hike imbroglio. How can anyone with even an ounce of human feeling allow an increase in the prices of a key commodity twice in a year, and to astronomical proportions, and expecting no criticism or outcry, or even outrage? It boggles the mind. Of course we all know the rest of the story: Crashing naira, climbing prices of every single thing one can think of. But what has President Bola Tinubu done? To be frank, almost nothing. Can you guess the word that comes to mind? Yes, of course. Jaga-jaga.

For more chaos and confusion, look no further than the rising insecurity in the land, especially in the North, and in the South-East. So-called bandits have resorted to kidnapping, raping, and killing innocent people, while collecting ransoms and even going as far as putting levies in place for poor peasant farmers to pay. In the recent past, the Sokoto axis variants of the murderous scum even humiliated a whole emir, before finally killing him. Recently, I read the narration of a rescued person who said he saw them kill a victim and feed his flesh to their dogs. Never have I read of such bloodthirsty callousness and disregard for human life. If there is something beyond terrorism, then that’s what Bello Turji and his ‘colleagues’ are perpetuating in their wildernesses.

The exploits of the criminals in the forests of Kaduna, Zamfara, Sokoto, Kebbi, Plateau and many other states are jaw-dropping, as they display levels of cruelty that suggest we are dealing with beasts beyond simply criminal acts. Then add to everything the brazenness of the terrorists in the South-East, and you will find a Nigeria that is just inches from being brought to her knees. Some people would even argue that we are currently on our knees, and frankly that does not sound far-fetched at all.

• Column No.6: Food prices, and other Nigerian horror stories
• X-raying many missed deadlines of Port Harcourt refinery resumption

The whole razzmatazz of sending the Minister of Defense and Chief of Defense Staff to Sokoto ‘until the bandits are dealt with’ would have sounded like a breath of fresh air. But we all know that even though the personalities involved want to do the job as instructed, there is a ton of other things that will prove to be obstacles in their way. At this point all we have to do is that vey Nigerian thing: Prayer, to God, for their success, because right now that’s all we can do. But what the president can do is to make sure that beyond his order, everything goes smooth over there. Enough is enough.

At this point, I am going to borrow a leaf from an innocent girl on a now-viral who said her family suffered so much that government officials can steal everything, as long as she and her family can get food to eat. Ah, food, that essential without which no human can survive. Yet, every day it slips further away from the reach of the average Nigerian. Speaking of which, there is no ‘average Nigerian’ anymore. The current administration has practically obliterated the middle class and has created two classes: one poor, and the other, buoyant. No prizes guessing which kind of people populate the category of former. If we had any artistes with a conscience in Nigeria, I wonder what they would be singing about. I mean, they have enough material for seventeen double albums!

Therefore, Oga President Tinubu, lest Eedris Abdulkareem – that ferocious namesake of mine (full disclosure: he’s a personal friend of mine) – pens and sings a nasty call-out song, things need to be done to fix everything. While this hardship will not vanish overnight, it would be a good thing if those responsible are seen doing things to mitigate it. Like, really doing things, not optical illusions that will not go anywhere. A friend of mine texted me for financial help, and ended the message with “They have turned us all into beggars”. Of course we know who the ‘they’ in question are. Let them do the needful.