Convenience not love

‘You are? Masha Allah, barakallah, who is the lucky guy?’ I enthused. ‘As if you need to ask’ Maryam said addressing me. ‘She is re-uniting with her beloved ex. Hurray, we have won.’ She added. ‘No Maryam I am not re-uniting with anyone you know, this is a brand new union and hopefully, a perfect […]

‘You are? Masha Allah, barakallah, who is the lucky guy?’ I enthused.

‘As if you need to ask’ Maryam said addressing me. ‘She is re-uniting with her beloved ex. Hurray, we have won.’ She added.

‘No Maryam I am not re-uniting with anyone you know, this is a brand new union and hopefully, a perfect match.’ Asabe countered handing each of us a copy of the restaurant’s menu. When she called last night to say she was taking us for lunch today, I had asked her what it was about.

‘Let’s see, it’s not pay day yet and it’s not any of our birthdays, so what are we celebrating?’ I asked.

‘Just be there tomorrow and you’ll find out insha Allah.’ Asabe had replied mysteriously. And here we are now at the receiving end of the most unexpected news.

‘But when did all this happen? I mean we were together less than two weeks ago. You said nothing about this mysterious suitor. Now out of the blues you are talking about marriage, where did he come from and when?’Maryam demanded.

‘Actually he’s been around but not as a suitor. Then when he became a suitor he said we shouldn’t waste time in a prolonged courtship. He wants to get married before the Ramadan season and so do I. I mean I have no problem with getting married in less than a month’s time. I am not after a big wedding, it isn’t my first and the whole thing will only be a day’s affair.’ She explained.

‘So you’ve got everything planned, without our knowledge.’ I accused.

‘And even before we know who the man is’ Maryam complained.

‘Actually you do know who he is. When I went back to work, after my divorce a couple of years ago, I remember telling you about a colleague who turned out to be my old school mate’s husband. When she died last year you two accompanied me to condole with the family ….’ Asabe explained, deliberately letting her voice trail away.

‘Jummai’s husband? You are getting married to Alhaji Hussein? But you can’t do that.’ I protested.

‘Why not? He is no longer married to my school friend, he is now a widower.’ She defended.

‘Yes we know but think of his motives, he is after someone who will take care of his children because his wife is dead. He will take you away from your own children and monopolise your time. Without you and Mansur around your children will end up the only orphans in the world with living parents. Please consider them and return to their father instead,’ I begged.

‘Yes and the haste with which this man is forcing you into marriage is itself suspicious. Why should he insist on marriage before Ramadan if he is not looking for a cook and a housekeeper?’ Maryam asked.

‘How many times must I tell you that I can’t go back to Mansur no matter what he claims? He pronounced our divorce thrice and as far as I’m concerned it is irrevocable. Whatever his latter-day scholars tell him about three becoming one cannot be effective with me. As for Hussein I will marry him regardless of his motives. Whatever he’s looking for in this marriage suits me fine. I am also looking for simple companionship and not much else.’ Asabe answered.

‘Really? It never occurred to me that you will ever settle for a marriage of convenience. You always believed in love.’ I argued.

‘Yes I did, but what did I get for my belief? I served love for 17 years and ended up divorced and despised. I went in blindly like all people in love and paid dearly for my sentimentality. This time around I have no illusions about what I am getting in for. He needs a wife, I want a husband. Period.’ She declared.

‘How does all this fit in with your children or don’t they count now that you have got a convenient partner?’ Maryam queried.

‘Oh yes they do. In fact they are the reason I am meeting you here instead of at home. I want to discuss his proposal with you before I talk to them. Hussain’s proposal is that I move along with all my children to his house after the wedding, while mine is that I stay right where I am so that his children wouldn’t feel intruded upon. God knows it’s difficult for them being without their mother, but to have me with all my brood on their doorstep, can be traumatic to their young minds. So I need your advice on this.’ Asabe appealed.

‘Well since you really mean to go ahead with this marriage we have no choice but to wish you the best.’ I said. ‘On this issue I want you to be realistic enough to know that you can’t take along all your children and have them accepted by even your new husband. You have the choice to either return them to their father or take the last three and send him the first three. In any case since the first three are in boarding schools and a university campus, then it’s only a question of telling them to now go to their father during holidays instead of to the home you once shared. But believe me this will break their hearts. Life is never going to be the same for you or for them. I hope you are ready for all that heartache.’ I warned.

‘Is this man worth it?’ Maryam demanded. ‘Is he really worth your breaking up your home just to give him a convenient Ramadan?’

‘Aren’t you forgetting something here Maryam?’ Asabe replied with feeling. ‘I did not break up my family. I never wanted a divorce, it was forced on me. I accepted my fate and decided to live on. In the last three years you have no idea what life was like for me. You can’t imagine how many times I went to bed exhausted with tears. You have no idea how painful it is to try to explain to my children why we had to live apart from ‘Daddy’, why he no longer steps foot into our home but will rather stay in the car and ask them to come out. Look I know what I went through these last few years and I will not allow you to blame me for what I didn’t do.’ She concluded.

‘I am sorry’ Maryam said immediately, putting a hand on Asabe’s shoulder. ‘I didn’t mean it that way. It was one last attempt by me to discourage you so that we could pursue the other end, that is a reunion with Mansur. But we all know what you’ve been through and all that you did for your children. Bint and I should be the first to say we are living witnesses to all the sacrifices you made for them. And like she said we wish you the best in your new marriage. It’s just not easy knowing that now your children’s lives will really be divided; but you can’t continue living for them alone, you have to live for yourself. I wish you all the happiness you deserve.’ Maryam concluded, oddly enough with tears in her eyes.

‘Thank you so much, and am sorry I was a bit hard on you. I suppose you touched a raw nerve because I was also feeling guilty about the whole thing. But I have prayed hard for guidance before making this decision, so I only hope that it’s for the best.’ Asabe replied, her own tears threatening to run.

‘Well before we make this a tearful lunch, let’s quickly make our orders and plan the big day.’ I said cheerfully, summoning a waiter.

‘Yes let’s do just that. And our new bride will order first’ Maryam said, urging Asabe to state her order.