Curbing disrespect in children

Various factors that are responsible for children being disrespectful to elders or even their peers are often times overlooked by parents. Most parents take their children’s rudeness for granted by just laughing over their misbehaviour. They simply say ‘this child no go kill person one day.’ But should this be the norm? When should a […]

Various factors that are responsible for children being disrespectful to elders or even their peers are often times overlooked by parents. Most parents take their children’s rudeness for granted by just laughing over their misbehaviour. They simply say ‘this child no go kill person one day.’ But should this be the norm? When should a naughty child be reprimanded and how? Womanhood discusses.
At a function some weeks back, a child was being notorious and making a mess of everything at the ceremony. I saw him as being hyperactive and tried to draw his mum’s attention to bring him to order but she simply said ‘that is his character.’  A guest who couldn’t stand the kid’s naughtiness tried getting him to stop misbehaving but got the shocker of her life when the boy shouted back at her: “No, shut up, I’ll beat you, you are mad.” And the mum sat back and just laughed about it as if the child was a three or four-year-old, while he is actually 10. Surely, most African societies frown at this kind of attitude and think a well groomed child should always be obedient to adults.
Thirty-two-year-old teacher, Fatima Raji, says: “I believe a well brought up child with confidence, should be able to use words like ‘no thanks’ as and when due. There is nothing wrong in saying no to an adult but with politeness, but when a 10-year-old goes ranting at an elder, then that child is rude and should be cautioned by his/her parents. Not all adults will tolerate a child being rude to them. The adult sees it as her responsibility to caution the child and all she gets back is the rants?”
Aisha Abdullahi, a 37-year-old lawyer, notes that: “Children should be thought to say no when it is right to say no and to be polite when they are cautioned or when they know they have done wrong. It all depends on the situation. For a child to know when it is right to say yes or no to an adult is a sign of maturity. This child in question isn’t mature. My daughter says no even to me when you try to force her to do things she knows are wrong, she will cry and ask mummy why? I believe it is not rudeness but discipline. On the other hand, she understands when another adult tries to caution her, she remains silent and just stares. As parents we should learn to teach our children to give respect to people outside, at times saying no to an adult for just no reason can be rude.”
Mr. Obinna Ugwu, a 40-year-old civil servant states that: “I taught my kids to always speak out about anything they do not agree with. In this situation the child wasn’t given good training by his parents. At that age, he should learn to be composed and not to be causing chaos at an event. If you look deeper, you will find out that the child has been over pampered and so has grown to say different things to people not minding the consequences. Parents forget that such rude behaviour by children speaks badly of them as parents and even as a family.”
Marriage counsellor Mrs. Chika Emmanuel advises that: “Parents need to step up their game when it comes to teaching children when they cross the line with disrespect. There is nothing rude about teaching a child how to say no or speak up but when they do it disrespectfully, then there is a problem. The society is infiltrated by all sorts of people ranging from child molesters to paedophiles and so on. No is so essential in their upbringing but they need to be polite about it. In the case stated above, there was absolutely no need for it.”
She adds that: “Children learn how to respond appropriately by watching and imitating those around them. The most effective way to get your child to act respectfully is to treat them with respect and also to let them see you act respectfully towards other people. Remember ‘actions speak louder than words.’ Keep an eye on the type of communication your child is exposed to. Swearing on TV, negative attitudes in video games and even disrespectful lyrics in music can all be absorbed by your child and may filter into their vocabulary and behaviour.”
When your child is rude, don’t laugh it off as this will give him or her positive attention and encourage them to continue being rude. The right time to put a stop to such behaviour is now because if they grow up with that attitude, it will constitute a problem to their progress.