Dads babysitting: chore or parenting?

Not too long ago there were funny photos which went viral of the most unthinkable things that children do when they are under the watch of their fathers. Some ate toilet roll. Siblings buried themselves halfway into the ground. One was trying to eat out of a dog’s plate; another was stuck up a wall […]

Not too long ago there were funny photos which went viral of the most unthinkable things that children do when they are under the watch of their fathers. Some ate toilet roll. Siblings buried themselves halfway into the ground. One was trying to eat out of a dog’s plate; another was stuck up a wall and held in place by adhesive tapes. The list goes on.
These photos provoked a lot of comments. Whilst some agreed that the photographs represented the true state of affairs, some others disagreed, saying that they were exaggerated.
One of such comments was particularly interesting as our reporter eaves dropped on the conversation as passengers waited to board their plane. A father of three said, his wife had been hospitalized along with his six-month old baby who had taken ill. Coping with the other two children, work and school runs as well as assignments weighed him down like he never imagined they would.
Eventually, after two long days, he had to go to the hospital to ask the baby be discharged so that his wife could return home to take care of the other children because he was, “going gaga”.
 “Daddy, this is not my pant.” And the father said, “put it on. Nobody will notice that you are wearing your brother’s own. The child then says, “But daddy it is not even a boy’s pant. It is Nike’s own. How can I wear a girl’s pant?”
Next, was, packing their snacks. “Daddy this is not my water bottle. Mine is the green one.” The father says: “water bottle is water bottle. What does it matter?” The child swiftly responds, the “green colour.”
It provoked laughter initially. After all that died down, one listener said, “but that was very unreasonable of you. How do you imagine your wife copes with all three of them and you, the biggest of all the babies?”
His response: “She’s a woman and has been specially blessed for the role.”
“Hmmm, specially blessed” was an instantly chorused response from two women in the group.
A general remark, by the other males, to ease the air this was, ‘it is amazing how women know and do these things effortlessly.
Clearly, taking care of children is still an unthinkable phenomenon in today’s Nigeria. Regardless of the evolution taking place in society regarding family life and relations, this part of family life has hardly been altered.
Even before the question was completely posed to him, Mr. Abraham Sorka cut in and said joking, “Don’t even think about it. Is that my job? I am the head and shouldn’t be the one nursing the children. After all, that’s why God had designated her as my helpmate. She’s to help me in that regard while I provide her the necessary facilities and environment to do so.”
Contrary to this, Mr. Felix Obote said, “When my children were young I took delight in bathing them, dressing them up for school and doing how work with them. This relationship which I developed with them from day is evident in how we relate now that they are adults.
Obote thinks, “ego more than anything else is the reason most men consider it a woman’s job to do things like change their baby’s diaper or give them a bath. I am in my 60s and this is something I began doing about thirty years ago.
For the father of one son and three daughters, “when fathers share in the nitty-gritty of taking care of their kids, it is all part of parenting. There is no big deal there for me. If their mother can do it, why can’t you as their father do it as well?”
Confirming this, his wife, Wuraola said, “When we had our first child, he was the one who did everything. Maybe It was the excitement of being a father for the first time. Even when our son woke up at night and needed to be changed or fed, he would cling to his dad not me. It was quite a relief to be able to sleep at night because of how much I did during the day.” 
When men perform such acts, it is usually considered extraordinary and out of this world, because it is a man who is involved. When it is a woman, it is considered her responsibility which does not necessarily warranty praise or commendation.
If this were judged against the expectations of society from mothers, it would be a lot less significant, if not completely invisible.
Although motherhood has been described over and over as the ‘most important job in the world’, the sight of a working mother tending to her hyperactive children while she shops or does other chores that require as much attention, is not likely to be viewed as extraordinary. But if a man were to be seen with a child held up in one hand, another being held by the hand as they take a stroll or do some shopping, the sight would be followed by great admiration followed by praise and commendation about how nice he is to take his children around.
In all, fathers spending time with their children whether babysitting, or simply chatting them up shouldn’t be considered a chore but simply an aspect of parenting.