Dancing the dance of self-deception

We should all be aware of self deception and not fall prey to it. We can be deceived in several ways.  Self-deception is probably more common in our lives than we realize. But the question is, why would we want to deceive ourselves and at very slight positive chance we have? What would be the […]

We should all be aware of self deception and not fall prey to it. We can be deceived in several ways.  Self-deception is probably more common in our lives than we realize. But the question is, why would we want to deceive ourselves and at very slight positive chance we have? What would be the gain and the purpose?

What is self deception in the first place? It is falsehood. It is being tricky and misleading in all you do or what you are. No body can exactly tell how much deception occurs between people. All we know is how much we deceive others or how much we attempt to do so.

But one thing that most of us do and do not realize we are doing is that we are living a life of deceit not just to others but to ourselves. We often do not know how much we deceive ourselves? And in what ways does this deceit occur? Are we aware, partially aware, or totally oblivious of these deceptions?

When we try to be something we are not, we are deceiving ourselves. When we try to be someone we are not, we can deceive ourselves. When we portray ourselves in a good, honest light whereas we know we are far from that we can deceive ourselves and others by our actions or behaviour. When we try to take credit for something we did not do, we can as well be deceiving ourselves and others. In various aspects of our lives, this act of deceit happens especially in the lives of women. Most of us tend to live a life of deceit and pretence and this attitude has brought about problems in our lives and the home. They tend to live above their means thereby giving a false impression about who they are.

The simple reason for these acts of deceit could be to appear better than we are. To appear more honest than we have been. To appear more heroic than we have been. To appear more friendly than we acted. To appear to be more intelligent or clever than we are. Probably because we do not want to lose face among our friends,  we try albeit negatively to live up to their standard in life. We try not to lose our position among our friends. We try not to appear weak, dishonest, or less than we would like to be seen.

And the person being hurt, being deceived is our self and no one else. Perhaps others see through our little games and just leave you to play on. Perhaps they don’t.  But do we realize the grievous harm we are doing to ourselves? And if we do, can we stop them or should we stop them?  The trouble often is the ripple effect. Start something far away and it will eventually wash up elsewhere. In time it will affect things even far away. Or in this case, will affect us in ways we did not realize or ever expect.

To live a life of self deception robs us of the experience of who we really are. Just like self criticism robs us by hitting and hurting us. By deceit our very actions make us actors/actress in our own play. But who is directing? Who is producing this effect?

So, to have a healthy experience without self deception is to enjoy ourselves. Be proud of who you are. Perform on your stage, in your life, to the best of your abilities. Do your best, by yourself and others. Grasp the nettle of life and move forward to claim your place in life and reach and fulfill your potential.

Truth-telling is the central challenge in women’s lives, the foundation of self-regard, and joy. At the center of a woman’s life is the quest to discover, speak and live her own truth, to cease living a life dictated and defined by others.

Leave self deception behind and you will be able to lead a free, enjoyable and satisfying life. One in which you can be yourself and yourself without fear or favor of anyone or from anybody. Be Proud of who you are and what you do. Proud of your interactions with others and the world you live in.  Be proud of your contribution to life.  Be proud of being you and living your life just the way you are and not living another person’s life just to satisfy them.