Destroying people’s marriage plans with lies

A young woman who was a divorcee for many years got married recently, by not allowing the man she married to visit her in her parents’ house as custom demands.If she were to do that, according to her the marriage would not have taken place. She said some people in her area scuttled a lot […]

A young woman who was a divorcee for many years got married recently, by not allowing the man she married to visit her in her parents’ house as custom demands.
If she were to do that, according to her the marriage would not have taken place. She said some people in her area scuttled a lot of her chances of getting married by telling the suitors lies against her.
So this time around, she took her suitor to her brother’s house. Any time he wanted to visit her, he would tell her and she would go to the brother’s house.
The people in her area only learnt about the marriage few days to the wedding, it was too late for them to do anything about it, she supposed.
When I asked for more details, the explanation I got was that some young men and old men are the culprits. They told the young woman’s suitors that she was a prostitute and he should not marry her.
Then in another such case, such young men and old men kept sending suitors away from a young girl who is a student in a higher institution. They told the suitors that she was arrogant and so on and she only wanted to marry a wealthy man.
But why should people spend their time (men in this case) poking their nose into other people’s business to the extent of seeing who comes to see which girl so as to scuttle the whole thing?
Do such people carry a grudge against such girls, did the girls at one time turn them down, that is why they are bent on a revenge mission?
However, the irony is that a young girl told me, one old man offered the man he was discouraging to marry a girl his own daughter!
Since in getting married both parties or rather their parents investigate each other’s family, I don’t think it is enough to end a relationship when some people go to you and tell you horrible things about a young girl you want to marry.
A man should investigate more, besides, those people that you don’t know telling you about the girl should also be investigated to find out their motive. What do they have at stake, did they do that out of love  for you or what, shouldn’t they ‘love’ the girl and try to protect her interest  more than yours since living in the same local setting as neighbours, they are more like relatives?
Another case I know, it was not the neighbours who lied, but  an old boyfriend of the girl. In fact, she said when she saw how he wanted to go out with her to ‘relax’, she ended the friendship before it got further.
He kept track of her, and when he saw that she was serious about another man, he hired some people to go and tell lies about the girl to the man, such as that she was a prostitute.
But luckily, this man asked them to mind their own business. He threatened to call the police; they pleaded with him not to and told him the person that sent them.
This is to show that people should not act quickly on hearing such gossips, especially by somebody you don’t know, who claims to act on your interest.