‘Digging her own grave II’

‘No Atika, I didn’t do anything to  betray you, if anyone is to be blamed for this situation, it is you. You succeeded in digging your own grave in this matter.’ He argued.  ‘How can you say that? I was only joking and we’ve always shared jokes between us. How was I to know you […]

‘No Atika, I didn’t do anything to  betray you, if anyone is to be blamed for this situation, it is you. You succeeded in digging your own grave in this matter.’ He argued. 

‘How can you say that? I was only joking and we’ve always shared jokes between us. How was I to know you would take that seriously?’ I asked.

‘Well, like I’ve said before, it’s too late to stop anything now. I’ve done all the necessary formalities and my new wife will be joining this family in two weeks. Please, be patient and everything will work out right. Nadia is a nice, shy and sensible girl. You will get along very well, I’m sure. In fact I’ll arrange for you two to meet soon, so that by the time of the wedding you will no longer be strangers.’ He suggested.

‘No please, I do not want to meet her. She is coming here as your wife, so you are the one she needs to get along with. I’m sure I have no interest in her and what she stands for. And I hope she isn’t coming to live here?’ I protested.

‘No, we don’t have enough space here. And I don’t want you two to suffer any friction due to close proximity with each other. So I’ve got her a two-bedroom apartment in town. For now she won’t need anything bigger than that.’ He explained and then walked out of my room. For hours I stayed there wishing I was having a bad dream from which someone will soon wake me up. Of course I cried my heart out in the process. When the call for prayer was made, I rose from my bed and walked into the bathroom to make my ablution. But I couldn’t believe what I saw in the mirror. My eyes were read and swollen from all that crying.

 There and then I resolved to convince him not to go ahead with that marriage, I mean if I could cry like that even before she’s here, imagine how much more I will cry when she’s finally here. And my life will never be the same again, because when I’m sad it permeates every aspect if my life. My children will be affected and so will my parents and siblings.

 With that resolve I prayed and waited for him to return. But I soon found out that nothing I did or said could sway him. He brushed my arguments with the ease of someone who was well prepared to have his way. In the end, I stopped arguing with him and took my case to God. I prayed fervently for His intervention, and that was why I didn’t bother telling anyone at home because I didn’t want them to worry over what The Almighty could solve for me, if He wished. 

But last night Haruna came and presented these cards to me and said I should accept everything as the Will of God. He urged me to be positive about it and also handed me a check for half a million naira. He said it was a gift from him in case I wanted to renew my wardrobe. 

I didn’t say anything to him and after a while he left my room. But that was the point at which I decided to let you people know. I mean what is there to hide when cards have been printed and are being shared all over town?’ Atika concluded. 

‘I’m truly sorry Atika, this is really a hard test. But as with all tests, the pain will go with time, and you will regain your happiness soon, in sha Allah.’ I offered.

‘I hope so Aunty Bint. But remember what makes it so difficult for me is the fact that I am the architect of my woes. I more or less caused this on myself.’ She lamented.

‘No Atika, that’s one thing you really need to chase out of your mind. You did not cause this on yourself at all, even if it looks like that to you. The truth is that your husband likes the idea of taking a second wife and that was why your joke struck a chord with him. Do not blame yourself for something he did only because he wanted to, not because you had anything to do with it.’ I argued.

‘But Bint don’t let her think that way because in actual fact she is responsible for her plight.’ Maryam countered. ‘Atika toyed with her husband’s ego and like a typical man, he went straight ahead and taught her not to mess with him. Just put yourself in his place. Every man wants his wife to jealously guard her place in his heart and home. But to his great amazement, Haruna found his wife willing to share him, by even telling him to his face, that she’s found the kind of woman she feels is ideal for him. So what do you expect him to do? Sit still and nurse his bruised ego? No dear Bint, any man worth the name will show her that he is hurt, and that was what Haruna did.’ Maryam countered.

‘I still don’t think that makes her the reason he took a second wife. As far as I’m concerned he wanted to marry again and any excuse will do. If he wasn’t interested, I don’t think she’d be able to convince him even if she brought a beautiful girl and begged him to marry. My take on this is that Haruna is waging a psychological warfare on Atika. Every man who sets out to marry again feels guilty because he knows he’s going to hurt his wife in the process. In a situation where they had an ideal, peaceful marriage like Atika and Haruna’s, the guilt is even more pronounced. So to ease his conscience, he turns the table on her by saying that she made him do it, while in actual fact he’s only doing what he wants to do. So Maryam, allow your sister to know that she is not responsible for what her husband is about to do. The least you can do is to support her, pray along with her and encourage her to accept this as a divine trial for which the only cure is faith and patience.’ I advised.