Digital citizens: Effects of smartphones, social media on relationships

A smartphone is a present distraction. It accompanies us wherever we go, demanding our attention multiple times a day. A phone call, Facebook notification, instagram and whatsapp messages are just a very few. This gadget which was formerly affordable by only the affluent has become an everyday item. Because of the easy access, it has […]

A smartphone is a present distraction. It accompanies us wherever we go, demanding our attention multiple times a day. A phone call, Facebook notification, instagram and whatsapp messages are just a very few.
This gadget which was formerly affordable by only the affluent has become an everyday item. Because of the easy access, it has made us to become so immersed in our digital lives, thereby placing priorities over unimportant things. For example, is it really necessary to post a picture of your dinner on Instagram, rather than actually enjoying it and sharing your impressions with the person next to you?
Figures released by global technology consulting firm, International Data Corporation (IDC) quoted statistics by Technology Times that Nigeria was ahead in Africa’s smartphone market in the first quarter of 2015.
Besides,  according to IDC “Nigeria contributed significantly to the overall growth seen in Africa, with the country experiencing year-on- year growth of 135 percent.”
The firm also stated that Nigeria accounted for 14 % of all smartphone shipments across the continent during the first quarter of the year. The same report also states that South Africa comes next, experiencing year-on- year growth of 56%, accounting for 12 percent of all smartphone shipments across the continent during the quarter.
It was leant that Samsung, Tecno and Apple were the leading smartphone vendors in Africa during the quarter, with Huawei being ousted from the top three.
With this positive statistics, nevertheless, the gadgets are causing a lot of damages to relationships in the country today. Linked to this is the social media including Facebook, Whatsapp, Badoo, Instagram and Keek to mention a few.
No doubt, smartphones get in the way of our relationships, making it impossible for us to wholeheartedly devote our attention to the present moment and physical attraction. As a result, we lose many moments of wonder that are unique and never to be lived again. According to statistics, an average person checks his phone about 150 times a day averaging every 6.5 minutes.
There are clearly many upsides to social media, which include always having the ability to stay connected to people through your smartphone. But what is its impact on our face-to-face communication and the people around us? New data has shown that our smartphones could be destroying crucial relationships in our lives. Apart from its upsides, there are also downsides to it.

Lack of communication
Smartphones can cause a breakdown in communication especially among couples.  Intimacy is hard to achieve or maintain when your phone keeps beeping with alerts, notifications and email reminders. Being a constant, merciless distraction, our smartphones have replaced deep-felt, long conversations in view of non-urgent, shallow tasks; retweeting a fun tweet, updating Facebook statuses countless times a day.
Smartphones have a major impact on our social life. Who would have imagined that a family within the same house would communicate by sending messages on their mobile devices instead of talking face-to-face? However, looking at it from the positive side, you’ll see that it also allows families to be connected, especially when they are in different locations.
In fact, some people talk more about their relationships on Facebook, than they do face-to-face with the person they’re actually in a relationship with. There was a story of a lady who went to an eatery with her fiancé. While there, the lady kept pressing her phone even as her date was trying to tell her a story, but all her attention was fixed on her phone. He got angry and told her it was time for them to leave, she got up, still fiddling with her phone. He opened the door to prevent her from walking into it. Walking out, she went straight to another man’s vehicle instead of her fiancé’s. Leaning against the door of the other car, the owner of the car she leaned against came and had to practically snatch the phone out of her hand and yelled at her.
Out of embarrassment, the fiancé calmly walked to the owner of the car and apologized on her behalf, held the lady by her arm and gently pulled her away to their own car. What happened afterwards, no one knows but the “drama” that took place inside the eatery and within its premises must have made the young man make a certain decision. Perhaps, the lady might have been chatting via Whatsapp, Blackberry messenger (BBM) or even Facebook messenger. That’s by the way, but whatever means she chatted, it definitely changed her fiancé’s perception about her.
With the introduction of smartphones, social media and other technological advancements, we are living in a completely different world than the one in which our parents grew up. We’re becoming so obsessed over how our lives look to others through the digital glass, that we forget how significant it is to live, invest and relish in the present moment and the reality we’re in.
Generally, the social media has two sides: positive and negative. On the negative side, a student, Anne Musa, said: “The problem is with us. Because for as many times as my phone makes me a better person, it also makes me distracted or even a selfish person, because it distracts me from doing other things. If I am not reading, I’m either pinging or responding to a message on Whatsapp. My friends have complained about it several times.”
For Amos Obadiah texting while driving is one of the things that gets him angry on the highway. “Most Nigerians have cultivated the habit of texting and driving which is very annoying. This happens when they are either in a traffic jam or while waiting for the traffic lights.” He added that they become so engrossed in what they are doing that when the traffic starts moving, they do not know unless other cars start honking at them before they realize what is happening.
This reporter was told a story by a friend whose neighbour always argued with her boyfriend about the amount of time she spent on her cell phone whenever they were together. She said her neighbour always said that her boyfriend felt ignored, and they have been dating for five years. The source who didn’t see anything wrong in the complaints of her neighbour’s boyfriend said her neighbour was always on the phone. “She gives her phone more attention. Most of the time, it’s more interesting to browse Facebook or text than it is to interact in the present” she added.
Inevitably from this story, excessive smartphone use drives us away from each other and we only choose to communicate impersonally and for superficial matters. Somehow, so many people especially couples no longer find bonding and intimacy appealing, making it impossible to build any new, sincere relationships.
So the question is: Why choose to communicate through social media, rather than enjoy a friend’s company? Or better still; do something together, other than sitting side-by-side staring at the displays on your device?
Sustaining a relationship isn’t an easy task, hence maintaining it needs to be based on constant give and take, where we think about someone else at least as much as we think about ourselves,  but our smartphones have upset this balance. They can turn us into selfish individuals who are only worried how many “like” their Instagram photo received. We place too much emphasis on our digital lives, and we lose sight of the urgency and beauty of the everyday.
This leads to a vicious circle, where the more we interact with the digital world, the more we become indifferent to the real world and people, get attached to the meaningless approval of strangers online, try to seek validity and recognition from people we don’t know and make us lose the connections to the real world and real people.

Everyone is a Journalist
Another effect the smartphone has had on its users is that it has made everyone a journalist. This is as a result of one of its features called instant messaging. This feature comes in the form of applications that can be downloaded from places like Play store, Blackberry world, Amazon store among others. The moment any exciting or disturbing event occurs before the press get to write about it or even before the broadcast outfits say it in a professional manner, details of what happened has reached even the interior villages-All with the aid of smartphones.
But then it is not only about the negative side. There are also positive sides of owning a smartphone. One of such is that it facilitates trade between people. With just a phone call, a customer base can be built even outside where an individual resides. In terms of politics, it also plays a major role. Looking back at previous elections in Nigeria and the reactions that followed after announcing results, one would have thought that it wouldn’t have been a success.
Amongst the several platforms for engagement and discussions by Nigerians, social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter proved very effective. The effectiveness was as a result of the easy access and relative speed of dissemination of information by smartphones.

Improper method of writing
The smartphones has changed the way most people write today especially the young ones. Because of its ability to use codes, people have taken advantage of that feature and this has adversely affected the way many people write. Here are some examples:
“Please I want to see you tonight – Pls I wnt 2 c u 2night,” “I need a cup of water to drink – I nid a cup of water 2 drink,” “Halima is a sweetheart and a very good girl. I love her – Halima is a swthrt n a vry gud girl. I luv ha,” “I have some beautiful bags for sale, so tell your friends – I av sm biutiful bags 4 sale, so tell ur frnds,” and “Is this the road to their house – Is dis d road 2 deir ouse?” among many others.
Many words have also been shortened. Some examples include: Although – altho, There – Dere, Market – Mkt, School – Schl, Office – Ofis and Brother – Broda.
These are just some of the ways people write either in the form of text messages, Blackberry messages or even in letters, or while chatting via IM’s like Whatsapp, Facebook chats, 2go, etc.
It’s a well-known fact that without the smartphone or social media, the world would probably still be in primitive era. No one knows what it would have been. According to James Ibe, although the social media and smartphones have their disadvantages, he was still thankful that the world had made technological advancements.
“Despite the disadvantages of the social media and smartphones, these devices and the social media have made things easy for everyone today, because it has helped businesses to grow, rekindled friendships, and even provided a means where people could form new friendships,” he said.
So, it all depends on how you look at it and how well an individual uses the gadget. A device is not bad, but it is how you use it. It would either exalt you or relegate you. Just use it well!