Does going to the extreme salvage your marriage?

Obstacles are bound to happen in a relationship but does being fetish in the name of saving the relationship solve the problem? A lady once narrated how she had to resort to the use of charms and diabolic means to save her marriage from collapsing. She stated that: “My husband is a known ‘womaniser’ and […]

Obstacles are bound to happen in a relationship but does being fetish in the name of saving the relationship solve the problem?

A lady once narrated how she had to resort to the use of charms and diabolic means to save her marriage from collapsing. She stated that: “My husband is a known ‘womaniser’ and he isn’t apologetic about it when I confront him. It was beginning to affect our marriage as we always quarreled about it. I had to look for a means to curb his attitude and sought the help of a herbalist. Unfortunately, he saw the various concoctions I was given (to be used by only myself) and has asked that I move out of the house or he leaves. Was it wrong for me to have tried to protect my marriage by any means?”
Women are known to be the weaker sex and tend to get emotional when they feel their relationship or marriage is threatened, resulting in many of them going to extreme lengths to protect their marriages or relationships. The question many people ask is: Is going fetish the only way to protect a relationship or marriage? Respondents have varying opinions on the issue.
Amina Usman, a 36-year-old civil servant, says: “This reminds me of my days in the house of a man that I loved so much though I faced emotional and physical trauma from him on a daily basis. To keep my home, I sought the advice of people, many of whom advised me to go spiritual which meant being fetish. I almost fell prey but changed my mind at the last minute.”
She added that: “I decided to trust God and that worked for me almost instantly. Till date, I always preach to women who care to listen, that going fetish would only jeopardise your life in the long run. Going that way is not worth the pain. If your marriage is not working after all avenues have been exhausted, then the best thing to do is to walk away.”
Hajiya Hajara Saleh, a 45-year-old educationist, advises mothers to educate their daughters that their destiny, when it comes to marriage, depends on how well they coordinate their homes and challenges facing them.
“We need to understand that some friends are not after our good, where are they now in her time of trouble? Why do we always deceive ourselves that going fetish is the permanent solution to our problem in life? No man will take it if he finds out, no man! She went to the extreme,” she remarked.
Adenike Wilson, a 38-year-old nurse, wonders thus: “So now, I’ll like to know if the juju worked? Because if it worked even after he saw it he shouldn’t be angry, he should have been able to love her more.” She adds that: “The result means the juju did not work and she is now left to wallow in sorrow. Any man that you have to use juju to keep is not your own whether you are married or not. True love does not depend on being fetish. Being fetish has never had a positive result, I wonder why people still go ahead with it.”
Going to the extreme of being fetish only happens when women believe that being with a man is the only reason for their existence. The bottom line is that he is wrong but she shouldn’t have taken the advice of friends or relatives. He may be cheating but instead of going diabolical about it, why not try to involve his family members to persuade him to change his ways or better still threaten to divorce him and see if he would change?
At the end of the day, even if he forgives her and takes her back, the trust is already lost as he will keep being skeptical of her actions around him. It is important to note that taking extreme measures, especially being fetish never ends positively. The result is always more than whatever problem one tried to solve.