Does sacrificing career help build successful marriage?

Some men think it’s demeaning for their wives to work under another man and be answering him ‘sir ‘ and as such resolved that their wives should remain at home. Or engage in petty businesses and take care of the home irrespective of her educational background.However, most career enthusiast believe that the two can be […]

Some men think it’s demeaning for their wives to work under another man and be answering him ‘sir ‘ and as such resolved that their wives should remain at home. Or engage in petty businesses and take care of the home irrespective of her educational background.
However, most career enthusiast believe that the two can be managed effectively and others are of the view that one is going to get the necessary attention while the other suffers.
Besides, women who have successfully built their career said both can be managed as it is dangerous to build one without the other.
For Stella Chinemere, a banker, her career and marriage are both important and also intertwined because you cannot have a successful marriage without contributing anything to keep the affairs of the family going.
Chinemere explained that despite the fact that she is in a demanding job, she is building her home to have a successful family, and at the same time also working to have a fulfilling career, which to her, connotes success.
“For me I don’t think I need to sacrifice my career because the only way you can enjoy a successful marriage is to have a booming career that will give you the satisfaction you want, and inner peace that will make you feel you have succeeded in life,” she said.
According to her, it is the satisfactions that one gets that make her happy and will also reflect in her running the home successfully.
Angela Emmanuel, a teacher in a private school said sacrificing career does not in any way portend that you will have a successful marriage but that having a successful marriage is when two people who are happy with each other work together to build the kind of home they want.
Emmanuel said: “If a woman is not doing what she loves doing, she cannot be happy with her situation and that will also reflect in her marriage because she will take out her frustration on her family members especially her husband and such can lead to a broken home.”
She explained that a woman needs her career to be able to face the world and be self fulfilled in life and as such she can contribute in running the affairs of her family.
“Gone are the days when they say a woman’s education ends in the kitchen. Now the world is agitating for women to come out and take key positions in government and contribute their quota to national development. An intelligent woman can build her career and also have a successful marriage,” she said.  
However, some women leaders have said women are largely relegated to more vulnerable forms of employment and are overrepresented in informal employment, with lack of benefits and security.
 Dr. Mary Odewala said that career and marriage are two different things but can complement each other. A woman who has a thriving career will be able to take her family to a greater height because she can help her husband in providing for her family which is the first step towards achieving a successful marriage, as the family has to be provided with all the basic necessities of life.
She said women have to be relevant in nation building and anyone who has a tasking career can always have a way to manage both with an understanding husband.
“If your husband is with you in building your career, then he will also be with you in building a successful marriage. So career shouldn’t be one of the things a woman needs to sacrifice to have a successful marriage, but you can sacrifice it on something more important, but not that it will be a backbone to build a successful marriage,” she said.
A former special adviser to President Jonathan on Gender and Development issues, and a Professor of Development Economics, University of Abuja, Prof. Sarah Olanrewaju Anyanwu said a woman doesn’t need to sacrifice her career in other to have a successful marriage.
Anyanwu  said after investment a woman doesn’t need to keep her potentials at home because she has to come out and contribute to national output. “We say we want development and to facilitate economic growth so if everybody stays at home, who will produce the goods and services that will go into our gross domestic output?” she said.
She said: “We shouldn’t allow that idea to remain in our head, this is an era of globalization. So we need to participate in what is going on in the world, we need to contribute our quota to national development at the same time have a happy home.”
According to her, what is required is time management; a woman should know how to manage her time, time to be at work, to be with her family and time to go out for programmes.
She said many women occupying leadership positions are happily married and doing well in their career and lots of them are honourable ministers, and in sectors like finance, environment, water resources and petroleum among others.
“I am also happily married and doing well in my career and excelling in every position I occupy. Honestly if we allow all the women to stay at home then the nation will not grow and there wouldn’t be any progress,” she added.
She explained that a woman can work to have a good career, be a good wife and have a successful marriage by making her husband and children happy. In addition she can look after their welfare, cook at the right time, prepare the children for the future and empower them by sending them to school and there wouldn’t be any problem.
Meanwhile, the growing momentum building around the world to advance women to higher levels of management has been generating lots of contributions from women and other stakeholders.
According to some studies, women are seeking “flexible solutions” to manage work and family time commitments as an alternative to being subject to special treatment or quotas. They are also calling for the address of the so-called “leaky pipeline” whereby women fall behind despite their high level of education.
The studies also suggest that national employers’ organizations can play a major role in increasing awareness of the company case for appointing women in leadership roles. “Having women in top positions is simply good for business,” says France-Massin, Director, Bureau for Employers’ Activities International Labour Organization (ILO).