Domestic violence at its peak

“How do you handle a situation where a husband beats his wife in the presence of the children? She goes to the office with bruises and gives excuses that she fell the previous day. The last was when he beat her because she allowed the children go out to play. This is really getting out […]

“How do you handle a situation where a husband beats his wife in the presence of the children? She goes to the office with bruises and gives excuses that she fell the previous day. The last was when he beat her because she allowed the children go out to play. This is really getting out of hand, he is my brother but I still feel bad as a woman and human being that my brother does this to his wife. She does not in any way deserve what he does to her. Was I wrong to have advised her to leave him because nothing we have said to him as a family has helped the situation?” 
This was an instance given by a friend, Aisha (Not real name) during a discussion about what happened in Lagos over the weekend when a man killed his wife. The story is still buzzing on social media and again, attention has been drawn to the increasing cases of domestic violence in the society.
Women are the most affected when it comes to domestic violence, men too are not left out as some also suffer domestic violence in one form or the other.
Aisha explained further that: “I’ve advised her severally but her excuse for not leaving is her children and that her breasts have sagged, so which man will be interested in her again. I don’t want her to be the next Ronke or other countless women who have died as a result of domestic violence. She is young, beautiful and very hardworking.”
Blessing Samson, a 39-year-old pharmacist, says: “Lesson from life is that age has nothing to do with our happiness. Why does she feel that her beauty is what will determine how a man treats her? She should be thinking of her children and not beauty, she is putting her priorities in the wrong order. She needs to get her head straight and start living for herself and her children. Also, no one has ever trained children from the grave.”
Adaobi Ani, a 42-year-old civil servant, wonders why a young lady of 28 would want to live and be killed in a marriage that has brought her no peace of mind. “I would advise her not to allow herself to be killed in marriage; she should love herself and her kids and run away from that hell she fascinates as being a home. If she is living in bondage for them then she can equally live right for them,” she remarked.
Hadiza Adamu, a 39-year-old accountant says: “I used to wonder if all those stories are actually real. What is the man giving a woman that she would prefer to stay in a violent relationship? Does she know the trauma her children are going through? Except the woman is enjoying the emotional trauma and beating (I hear some women do), I see no reason why she should be in such a relationship. The reason men treat women like this is because women allow them.”
She stressed that: “How can you allow a man treat you like an animal in the morning and then make love to him at night, what kind of mixed emotion is that? I’ll call it slavery of the 21st century as this isn’t love. It’s sickening; it’s a mental/psychological disorder for any woman to want to stay in a violent relationship.”