Erasing Bukky’s sins

Dearest Buhari,  Albishirin ka! The senator they paraded as a thief in the market square and took to the Code of Conduct Bureau has been discharged and acquitted. They say he is no longer a thief. Sorry for diving in so quickly my darling, I just thought I should put it out there because it […]

Dearest Buhari, 

Albishirin ka! The senator they paraded as a thief in the market square and took to the Code of Conduct Bureau has been discharged and acquitted. They say he is no longer a thief. Sorry for diving in so quickly my darling, I just thought I should put it out there because it shocked me. How are you doing and I hope you are able to get some fresh air now and again. Try opening the windows from time to time. 

You know this Saraki’s acquittal reminds me of a famous verse in the Bible. I know you are not a Christian but I know you like hearing from other holy books. So, in Isaiah 1:18 it says: 

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

You know, I didn’t really get the full import of the verse until Sahara Reporters began the rumor that he made a deposit of about $2 million to the judge. You know how they are with their rumors. I think they saw the verse and took it literally and in their minds the Code of Conduct Bureau boss told Saraki: “Come now let us settle the matter, though your corruption may be like scarlet we shall make you white as snow.” Anyway, at least we now have a spotless Senate President and who knows he might even become born again and delete the Senate from his title. You know how spotless people can be. 

Hmmmm. Is it true that when Aisha came to London, she did not come and see you? Because that is the rumor that the people at Sahara Reporters are spreading now o. When I first read that you know what I thought? I was a bit happy because that meant you love me and are not seeing anyone but me. Even if this isn’t true, I like the feeling it gave me. No one can come between us. 

Thank you for allowing your deputy sign the budget my dear. I know you didn’t have the power to do so or anything, but it is good that you gave him permission. You know how a child can really choose to marry anybody they want and by law a parent cannot stop an adult child from marrying who they want but it is good to give their blessing. And that is why even grown children tell their parents first when they want to marry. 

Darling, you know what Governor Bello of Kogi told Dino? He said he lacked parental care as a child. I am not sure if he was there during Dino’s childhood but I am glad that Dino is making up for it with all the fancy cars (Dino 01- Dino 10) lovely theme parties, music videos, foreign degrees from institutions that have refused to confirm his status as a student (haters, they just don’t like the fact that he spent one week for a course) you know, all the things that in Governor Bello’s opinion Dino’s parents failed to provide. Darling, I am glad you are not like that. You provide for me even though no one has heard from you. You reach me on a spiritual level so I don’t need to be doing music videos and putting my name on number plates. Your love makes me secure. 

Darling, I know you are not feeling ok, but can you send the same guy you sent to tell your deputy to sign the budget to also allow the Shiite guy and his wife to be released? Especially since we are not charging him with any crime in particular and we have killed off almost all his children, and also since at least one court has asked us to release him on bail? I feel that since we are praying for you to get better, we might do a good deed so that God might also look upon you kindly and make you better. I know I keep saying this, don’t be angry, my dear. I just want us to do the right thing. 

These days when I drink fura, I do it with two spoons, one for you and one for me. I am in love like that. If you feel any better it is because of my prayers. I promise I am being faithful to you. 

Ehen, you remember that time that you said you will not treat the 5% people the same as the 97% people. Well some of your friends are attacking the 5% people o. They even held meetings to say they want to drive them out of our house. I know you meant well when you made that statement and you only wanted the 5% people to sit up and be more loyal, but some people are taking this too seriously. We need to do something about it. 

I miss you. Always. 

Yours,

Elnathan John