Every which way she lost

‘Now why do you look so sad and teary eyed? Did we lose anyone close to us today?’ Tahir asked, when he stepped into the sitting room, from work, and saw me looking gloomy in the parlour. ‘Not really but the story is bad enough I couldn’t help the tears that flowed,’ I replied. ‘If […]

‘Now why do you look so sad and teary eyed? Did we lose anyone close to us today?’ Tahir asked, when he stepped into the sitting room, from work, and saw me looking gloomy in the parlour.

‘Not really but the story is bad enough I couldn’t help the tears that flowed,’ I replied.

‘If no one is dead, what can be so bad as to make you cry?’ He enquired, settling on his favourite chair and placing his iPad next to him.

‘When a young woman sacrifices her life for a cause that isn’t worth it, and in the process jeopardizes her place in the next world, what can you do but feel absolute pity for her. I mean she has lost both ways and gained nothing in the process. ‘That’s the saddest part for me.’ I explained.

‘Is this young woman someone we know? And what cause did she make the ultimate sacrifice for? I mean for all you know, maybe you are the only one who thinks the cause isn’t worth dying for.’ He stated.

‘No Hubby dear, I think even you will not accept that the reason for her attempted suicide is worth it.’ I argued.

‘Attempted suicide? I thought you were talking about someone who accidentally lost her life trying to do something or save someone. But suicide, why would you shed tears over someone who deliberately tried to end her life?’ He demanded.

‘Mainly because it was a wasted effort, even though it came with lifelong consequences for her. In a nut shell the cause for which she almost killed herself isn’t worth the sacrifice she made. Yet even if she survives the harm she inflicted on herself, she is still scarred for life. You see, a young lady named Aisha in Zamfara state, decided to end her life when the young suitor she wished to marry told her parents he didn’t have the seventeen thousand naira they demanded as dowry. She was apparently very heartbroken because after years of courtship she didn’t expect him to say he couldn’t pay that meagre dowry. According to eye witnesses, who included Aisha’s younger sister, she went and bought petrol and a packet of matches and decided to set herself ablaze. Several times,  after drenching herself with petrol, the younger sister had snatched the matchbox from her, to prevent her from using it but she eventually got tired and left Aisha to her devices. Aisha immediately went ahead with her unholy mission. The moment she set herself on fire and began to feel the pain she ran outside their home, screaming for help. Some good Samaritans helped her put off the fire but not before it had burnt her severely on the face and many parts of her body.

Now she lies at home receiving traditional treatment because her own father had claimed that he had no money with which to take her to hospital. So I couldn’t help the tears that came down my face because every way you look at it she is the loser. If she survived this deadly attack on herself, she will be so severely disfigured that that young man will have nothing to do with her. The society will consider her a disabled, only suitable for begging. Even her own parents will consider her a liability from now on.

And if you ask me, that fool wasn’t worth her love in the first place. I mean any man who would openly proclaim that he couldn’t raise a miserable N17,000  to pay his bride price is clearly not interested in getting married. Even if he didn’t have the amount on him immediately, it’s certainly something he can borrow from friends if he really wanted to marry her. The report said they had been in a courtship for long, so why didn’t he save for this all-important eventuality?

So for all intents and purposes that young man wasn’t worth her devotion. Then comes the spiritual aspect. We all grew up hearing the Hadith that whoever commits suicide is going straight to hell. In other words taking one’s own life is a one-way ticket to jahannam, in a life that’s eternal. So imagine if this girl dies of her wounds, she would have purchased her one way ticket to hell forever, unless she used the period of her illness to sincerely repent. And these were all the factors I considered and felt truly sorry for her. To me hers was a wasted life both here and the hereafter.’ I concluded.

‘It really seems like that Bint, because she’s gained nothing from her act but raw pain. And like you said, that will gain her neither the man’s love nor his sympathy.  Then there’s the issue of her punishment in the next world. It’s total loss for her all round. How truly unfortunate. What worries me a lot these days is the way young women have grown so prone to violence. If they are not fatally attacking their husbands and brothers, as we have seen lately, then they are trying to take their own lives. I just can’t understand what is happening to them.’ Tahir wondered aloud.

‘Whatever it is, I think our religious scholars have a lot to do with it. They seem to have failed in their duty of preaching against societal vices. Young people have grown so prone to violence and the ulama have not made it a point of priority to preach against it and enlighten them. Like I’d said earlier, in our days we wouldn’t consider suicide out of fear of eternal damnation in hell but these young women probably have no idea that it’s wrong. They just see it as the easiest way out of their problems. Something has to be done to prevent more of them from treading the same path.’ I suggested.

‘You are right Bint. At your Ladies Parliament advocate that parents take the issue of preaching to their children seriously. Then we men will urge our imams at the mosques to be enlightening our youths against such evils, both during sermons and on the media. Hopefully we can stop this madness before it overtakes sanity.’ Tahir declared.

‘That’s surely the way to go Hubby dear. For now the result of Aisha’s suicide attempt is that every which way you look at it she is the loser.’ I concurred.

‘You just reminded me of an old Clint Eastwood movie ‘Every which way but lose.’ Tahir said with a nostalgic smile.

‘Yes, I too wondered why I found the phrase a bit familiar. I must have heard about the film somehow.’ I replied, smiling back.