Extinguishing the fire of anger within

We all get angry once in a while at some point in our lives. But what makes or drives most of us to a point of destroying everything on our path and even our psychological being.I and a friend were at a clinic where she went to attend her ante-natal. She had told me all […]

We all get angry once in a while at some point in our lives. But what makes or drives most of us to a point of destroying everything on our path and even our psychological being.
I and a friend were at a clinic where she went to attend her ante-natal. She had told me all about the trouble most pregnant women went through on ante-natal days. As a journalist I decided to see things for myself and not depend on hear say.  The experience was really a pathetic one considering the hundreds of pregnant women that were present. What caught our attention was the way a particular nurse treated most of these expectant mothers and freely mouth washed them to her satisfaction. One would think she knew these women or had personal grudges with them.
She ran out of luck this particular day, when an expectant mother decided to give her a piece of her own medicine. There was chaos everywhere and that was the end of the ante natal as every pregnant woman decided to take it out on the nurse (they seem to have had enough of her careless and selfish attitude). Funny enough my friend and I sat and watched as the chaos continued and eventually died out. The nurse was in tears by the time all the women left. We walked up to her and asked ‘what is really eating you up, that you have to always take it out on these women all the time?’
From the discussions we had with her, it was clear she had a lot of carry over anger in her from home and the only way  she could get respite for herself was to let it out on others.
Anger we have been told could or very dangerous to our physical and emotional self. In the case of the nurse she was easily given to anger and always had a burning heart and was always willing and ready to take it out on anyone.
Anger is a negative and harmful emotion, if not well handled can cost us more that what got us angry. “Anger is a very terrible thing. We think it is just shouting and exchanging words or slamming of doors that depict anger? Yes it does to an extent but the real anger is the fire that comes from inside us. If we can always pause and reflect on what we say in the cause of being angry then we can tell the amount of fire that we have coming from inside us then. If we can do this sincerely we would realize that we instantly feel bad reflecting on the moment of anger” says Abdulhamid Suleiman a civil servant with FCDA.
We have instances when we are somehow unwillingly forced to get angry because an angry person directed his/her anger towards us. The hospital scenario is a good example of this kind of instance. But on the other hand we can protect ourselves from such missiles and fire burning within the hearts of others.
Hajiya Aisha Gambo Suleiman, member of FOMWAN, says “if we find ourselves in such a position where angry person wants to immerse us in their anger, the best remedy to give such a person is calmness and patience. Most times we allow those who are burning in their hearts drag us into their fire of anger, which could be very dangerous. If you are to reciprocate according to the attitude of the angry person you will end up doing worse because clearly the angry person has an issue of a failed dialogue. You are neutral and have no idea what they are going through or have gone through but they just want to drag you into their fire of anger to satisfy their ego. You should not allow this happen. If possible you should try to talk them out of it and make them see reason that they are destroying themselves by allowing the anger to eat them up. Both religions teaches that we should not allow others to burn in silence or ignorance but we should help them extinguish their burning fire”
Anger is an engulfing emotion, it starts from the heart, mind, and body and then it results in actions. But if we train our minds and heart to be calm and objective, anger can be minimized. “Anger really doesn’t speak well of anybody who frequently exhibits it. I was once a very temperamental person. I used to get angry at every slightest provocation and it took a negative toll on most of my relationships and once my father asked me if I was created from fire. That got me thinking and I realized that if I went on with my uncontrolled anger it would cost me a lot in life. I have been down that lane and to be sincere it is really not worth it because you will never have a life. What is it worth being a human being if you don’t have a life?” says Hanifa Ahmed, an Abuja based Estate consultant.
I have not heard of any person whose consistent anger got him/her anything positively done in life. Anger never get anything done but destroys all on its path. We need to work hard in extinguishing the fire within us or help those who are burning with the fire of anger.