Fattening room: Efik’s robust, fading culture

By custom and tradition, a woman is not considered ready for marriage even if she is at puberty and regardless of what her educational achievements are, until she has undergone the fattening room process. A girl who has not done so is considered crude and this rubs off negatively on her family. Many families in […]

By custom and tradition, a woman is not considered ready for marriage even if she is at puberty and regardless of what her educational achievements are, until she has undergone the fattening room process. A girl who has not done so is considered crude and this rubs off negatively on her family. Many families in the past believed that without this, their obligation to their daughter was incomplete. The eldest daughter of the family usually has a longer stay than her younger sisters. Christianity has changed all these in modern times.

In some instances, the fattening room training is divided into three stages: a few months before the marriage, a week before marriage and after childbirth. Among the Efiks, there are three known phases of the fattening room: the circumcision between age six and ten for a period of about three to six months. This is called nkuho eyen-owon.

The second phase is called nkuho-ebuah for circumcised women who become pregnant before marriage. This exercise follows closely after her delivery after which she is confined to a room in her family compound.

The most impressive and popular one is the one that comes just before marriage.

Dressed naked from waist to top with just a piece of cloth around her waist, her arms dangle with beads and bangles as some beads run across her chest.

The history of the cultural practice dates back to a period when the Efiks were said to have lived amongst the Egyptians. It is said that the Efiks had sojourned into Egypt and imbibed the culture of the Egyptians after staying there for about four hundred years. They also imbibed the tradition of the Egyptians. It is evident in the tradition of the mourning house which could be open for about a year in the Egyptian culture. The only difference with this custom as it is practiced among the Efiks is with mummifying the bodies. This may be as a result of the unavailability of the necessary herbs used in the preservation of the bodies.

According to Etubom Charles Ironbar, Head of the Ironbar House, “there is also a tardyon amongst the Efiks similar to the Passover whereby a lamb is slaughtered and the blood sprinkled on doorposts. This they practiced until their time with the Ibos in Arochukwu in the fourteenth century before moving on to Uruan from where they left in 1312. It is on account of this practice that the Ibos had to demand the Efiks leave their land.

“Following their stay in Egypt and their departure afterwards, the Efiks decided to emulate the beauty therapy of the Egyptian women can so that their own women can glow in the same manner. The Efiks decided to make this a marriage affair.”

According to the Efik custom, the fattening room ceremony is performed when a woman comes of age in preparation for marriage and in most cases, there must be a ready suitor. Being in the fattening room is to prepare the lady for life in her matrimonial home as regards her husband, in-laws, children and guests to her home.

Ironbar explained further. “In Efik culture in those days, the lady had to be sent there where she is fed, nourished and trained on how to take care of the home and how to appreciate her husband and also to teach her how to cook, prepare the home, and receive visitors. Another thing is that it is also an evidence to demonstrate that her parents have enough means to take care of their daughter. Also, marriage in Efikland is not as in other places where the bride price is so high as if one is selling a daughter. When the daughter is sent out to marry, it is purely for that purpose. In other words, the suitor who comes to marry her in her robust good health must take care of her in the same manner that her parents did.”

In the fattening room, the lady is treated with the highest level of care and sometimes, forced to eat even when she doesn’t want to. The rations given to her are usually that meant for three or four people. This is accompanied by the daily massage of her body using white chalk.

No man is allowed to go into the fattening room except her suitor; and even before he enters, she must be informed in advance of his coming. She is also not exposed to everybody and only attendants and members of her immediate family as well as her playmates have access to her.

After eating, she has to sleep and rest properly. She learns the Efik dance steps, the Ekombi, ntimi and ebak-idok from experts who are brought in just for the purpose of teaching her because on the day of her wedding, she will have to dance. She is also taught some craftwork like table and chair cover making so that when she gets to her husband’s house, she will make them to decorate her home and not have to go and buy.

A lot of training goes on there; all round training to make her a complete woman in her home. In many cases, the period of the fattening room could last up to one year or sometimes even more. At the end of the fattening room period, there must be an outing. She is dressed in the traditional outfit, atiai. This is a piece of damask tied around her waist, with beads running down across her chest. Her hair is designed in a specific way, showing that she is a fattening room graduate. She is then taken to the market. There will be some people making up a train specifically to show her off and how well her family has been able to take care of their daughter.

The climax of the fattening room is the graduation or ‘out-going’ ceremony as it is referred to where the damsel is paraded. In the course of this parade, there are donations made in admiration of what they see. Onlookers and admirers alike drop money out of their own free will with nobody begging or asking them to. “The intention is not to go and beg for money but people who see her appreciate what they see and shower her with money,” said Ironbar.

After this, the preparation for the marriage begins.

In spite of  inflation and change in terms of foreign exchange rates, over the years, the bride price has remained so because it is linked to the history of the Efik people which has been traced to the twelve tribes of Israel.

The twelve pounds Etubom Ironbar informed are significant in that they depict each of the tribes of the Israelites while they were in Egypt. “In following the custom, they have maintained that and never charge or receive more.”

As is customary in the course of the marriage rites, and particularly, to forbid her from looking beyond her husband for money, during the traditional marriage rites, the would-be husband is asked to pay something which is a denomination of all the monies in circulation. With the husband doing this, it means she has no right whatsoever to go out and look for money. This is forbidding promiscuity.

The term fattening room is not symbolic but actually refers to a room especially dedicated to fatten the lady. All she has there is a bed and a chair for the suitor when he comes around.

Unlike the notion that some of the girls sleep on a mat spread on the floor, an iron bed with poles which in the early days was a bed depicting wealth and affluence, is provided for her. Only those from poor homes sleep on mats.

“In those days, the Efiks were involved in trade from here and Britain and were quite successful in what they did. It would therefore be unheard off for children of such wealthy merchants to sleep on mats and especially not in a time as the fattening room period.  “The ground is too hard for you to keep a lady whom you are trying to nurture this way. It is only at funeral ceremonies that people sit on mats in Efikland as a sign of mourning. ”

There is no male version of the fattening room as there was no need to put the men through the same grooming process. Biased or chauvinistic would you say? As future husbands and protectors of their families, they are trained on how they can make money and provide for their families.

The bride is not handed over to the husband but to her father in-law whose attention will be drawn to the fact that she has been given to the family in the best of health and physic and she must be taken very good care of. He is asked to return her back to her family if she is found wanting in any way and the dowry will be refunded.

The fattening room was a tradition that was widely welcomed by all which all families took great pride in having their child fancied by someone. Even at that, it was not compulsory for girls to be sent to the fattening room and there were families who didn’t want it. But the fear was that if you didn’t do it, there would be gossip in town ridiculing the family for not being able to send their daughter to a fattening room and also ridiculing her size. Then, it was a great pride to be fat and robust. But on her own, a daughter did not have the right to decline going to the fattening room. In any case, it was the ambition of all young girls that time to be sent there.

This practice was also adopted by the Ibibios of Akwa-Ibom State who refer to it as Mbobo which is the period of circumcision. You cannot give out your daughter without circumcision which they do when the girls are fully mature and at the verge of marriage.

In many cases, girls as soon as they are born were betrothed to the sons of their fathers’ friends as a way of sealing the relationships. In some cases, the men after making their intentions known to a girl of their choice, would then go to their families to let them know. Such families would then go to the family of the girl to declare the intentions of their son.

Investigations are then carried out by the families to ensure there is no witchcraft, mysterious deaths, sicknesses and that the men are capable of taking care of their daughter.

Etubom Ironbar explained that, she is circumcised while in the fattening room. It is for this reason that the seclusion is necessary so that she recovers properly from the wound and then begins the training. In those days, the Efiks never believed in educating their daughters. That is why they had the time to go through the fattening room. Their belief was that if you trained a woman, when she marries, the family’s name will change. Another reason was that schools gave corporal punishment for misbehaviours. The bluebloods did not want their daughters to experience this.  To them the woman’s duty was in the kitchen.

The girls, even when with ugly body shapes were systematically massaged to improve their looks. White chalk was used to mop the body with the girl tying a piece of cloth from across her neck down.

Today, there is no such thing as fattening room. No woman who sees what another looks like being slim and trim wants to go and fatten herself. It is a discarded tradition. Also, the society is so different in modern times. Nobody is going to leave school to go and stay in the fattening room.

The training is not lost because it is a continuous process which already starts in the home. It is basically the same things they are taught in the fattening room that mothers teach them at home.

Before sending their daughters to the fattening room, families usually consulted oracles to ensure that there were no forces against them that could pose a threat to their child while there. Where it is revealed that it could cost her her life, the plan was aborted or something done to avert the anticipated tragedy.

Lessons learnt were well carried out in the matrimonial home even today. It is for this reason that Efik women are the most sought after in Nigeria. They ring it in their ears saying, “Before your happiness must be your husband’s”.

If at the end of the day the marriage is not successful, the husband is allowed to return the bride back to her parents on the condition that he returns her as in good a state as he took her. With the bride price costing so little, twelve guineas in those days or twelve pounds which comes to about three thousand naira today.

Gone through the fattening room process herself, Mma Eka Ekpenyong now in her eighties said, “It was all fun and excitement for us in those days, except for the circumcision part of it which was a real terror”, she added amidst a hearty laughter.

“I was maybe a size ten when I entered. By the end of one year I was what I would describe as an eighteen or sixteen at the slimmest. I ate until I was sick of eating. I would throw up at the initial stage but after a month my body began to get used to the portions and grew more tolerant of them. Unfortunately, I never lost the weight. But I was happy being married because my husband was happy with the way I looked and enjoyed asking me to come and entertain his guests. Later on, I realised it was more the sake of showing off my physique more than for my culinary skills.

I was kept in a room where on a daily basis, I was massaged three times, fed about six times with large portions of ikpang kukuo, eba, plantain, yam, fufu, along with assorted soups and meat. I also drank a lot of water and slept just as much. My mother when she came to visit would tell me my waistline had to grow because the bigger it was the better.

My mother had already begun teaching us how to cook and maintain a home right from when we the girls were about seven years old. The one thing I looked forward to when I was being sent to the fattening room was the massaging bit. I had heard so much about it from my elder sister and already impatient for my time to get there. I was looking very, very fresh; my skin was finer and supple and the pimples which used to scar my face almost all gone. Even I couldn’t agree less that I was a prettier woman at the end of my fattening room encounter.”

Everybody hears all the glorious tales of the fattening room experience. The gory tales are hardly ever let out. Some young girls did lose their lives as a result of obesity as Mma Eka stated. “I have an aunty who went in there and didn’t come out alive because of how obese she became. Knowledge was quite limited at the time and rather than get medical help, her family members believed they were being witch hunted and faced that instead of looking after her.”

Nowadays, nobody bothers with the idea of the fattening room because the younger women say they learn it all at home and have more priorities that take up their time than investing one year getting fattened up. “I am happy I wasn’t born in that generation,” says Mrs Ikpa Effiom. “I would have ran away from home to avoid being sent to the fattening room. It is a grave injustice to your body as a woman and especially in this age where we are all crazy about being fit and trim. I am married and I see from my husband’s reactions with the things I do at home that he is very pleased with all I do. Fattening room I believe was just a way of massaging men’s ego in that time.”

Today’s men don’t want to be married to a woman fattened up, says Charles Etim. “There is no way I will marry any woman who weighs more than sixty five kilograms and she must have some height. It’ll be punishment for me to marry a big woman in today’s world. I will be too embarrassed to take her out because she will be scattered all over the place. In any case, why would people want to put themselves through such hassles?”

Photos: National Museum, Calabar and National Council for Arts and Culture, Calabar, Cross River State