Finally the war on the media begins

– ‘They’, who are they?– Oh, stop pretending, the khaki boys.– Ha, what did they do?– You mean, you’ve not been following events?– No, my Amr has joined his ancestors and I have activated mourning mode.– Yes o, Allah ya jikanshi ya rahamta shi!– Amin thumma Amin.– The way these people are going, we may […]

– ‘They’, who are they?
– Oh, stop pretending, the khaki boys.
– Ha, what did they do?
– You mean, you’ve not been following events?
– No, my Amr has joined his ancestors and I have activated mourning mode.
– Yes o, Allah ya jikanshi ya rahamta shi!
– Amin thumma Amin.
– The way these people are going, we may soon be envious of the dead o.
– So, what happened now?
– Oga, soldiers have waylaid, seized and burnt copies of newspapers critical to the government. They are also accused of taking over some newspaper premises.
– Huum, papers critical to the government? Newspapers are expected to tell truth to leadership not show open partisanship. So naturally they should be critical, they serve as mirrors reflecting the views of society to the government in power.
– But why are they behaving the way Fela described them now?
– How did Fela describe them?
– Like zombies.
– It’s not an insult. They live a regimented life and do not subject orders to rationality like you and I. A soldier carries out orders without complaining…well, in these climes at least. But what is the problem?
– I think it’s over reports that some generals were under court Marshall for gun-running for Boko Haram.
– Well, I thought I heard some government officials alluding to that in their interviews with BBC as usual. It’s a big event if it happened, and if it did not, they should have taken it up with the relevant papers, using the same channel.
– Exactly, haba! They should have gone to the courts now, instead of taking the laws into their own hands, seizing and burning newspapers in the name of searching for unfounded ammunition is no way to behave. Since when did newspapers become weapons of mass destruction?
– But the press are armed and dangerous.
– How Oga?
– Anybody who can exhume and expose what you would rather hide is more dangerous than a suicide bomber. Reputation takes ages or lifetime to build, but can be destroyed by one word or a line. Soldiers are sensitive to issues of their command structure and trying ten generals in an army is like failed coup.
– Really?
– Oh yes na. But who court marshals the army for telling lies to the public?
– Nobody. But did they lie?
– Did the army information high command not say they had rescued all but a few of the girls abducted from Chibok?
– But it wasn’t Naija papers that broke the story.
– Yes, but they exposed the hypocrisy of a whole nation’s army in times of tragedy. Then, there are the issues of leaving scenes prior to attacks which suggests that some are in cahoots with the enemy. These things have never been investigated or denied. But I saw this coming, I said that the Oga at the top is getting impatient with incessant criticisms and name calling. His wife issued a warning; the secret police said they have refurbished the old NSO cells, all within a period of one month.
 The handwriting was on the wall, only the press were too overzealous and lost in their own world to take precaution. Politicians and the army makes you wonder if independent journalists do not subscribe to the same code of ethics as their colleagues in NTA, Radio Naija or NAN (not the baby food o). Small stealing, they call it corruption. They want to run government from behind their computer screens.
– Oga, on whose side are you?
– Which type of JAMB question are you asking in NECO? We need a patriotic press, like they have in North Korea.
– Haba!
– Chimamanda Adichie’s stories have made headlines of late. Did they not say that President Jones was going to Chibok and that they saw the recce team on ground in Haramistan?
– Somebody sold a dummy to embarrass the press.
– And they bought the lemon?
– But sir, armies embed journalists, why is ours different?
– You want to spoil the most lucrative business – defence spending?
– How?
– How much has your government confessed to spending on the insurgency this year alone, yet you hear that soldiers are starving and feel abandoned on the front lines.
– That is nothing but rumour, no soldier’s name was given.
– Okay, was it rumour that soldiers opened fire on their own commander?
– Ehn…
– So you want a recruit to become Edward Snowden in Naija? You’re listening to too much BBC. But generally, editors should subject other rumours to the plausibility rule. Don’t just publish stories from the beer parlour. Don’t be in a haste to print rumours because you want to be the first to break the news.
– But you just gave an instance of soldiers too giving false information.
– Pardon me for living in lalaland, I thought two wrongs did not make a right.
– So wetin go come happen now?
– Well, President Jones, the proclaimed importer of social media and the internet, will be fighting on all fronts.