First ladyshipism

Examples are “First Lady of Soul Music” Aretha Franklin, or the “First Lady of Tennis” Serena Williams. In recent years, the title has been used even more liberally and bestowed upon wives of Church Pastors.  First Lady is also an unofficial title used for the wife of a Head of state. The title is not […]

Examples are “First Lady of Soul Music” Aretha Franklin, or the “First Lady of Tennis” Serena Williams. In recent years, the title has been used even more liberally and bestowed upon wives of Church Pastors.  First Lady is also an unofficial title used for the wife of a Head of state. The title is not normally used for a Prime Minister’s wife or other head of government who is not head of state.
Therefore  parliamentary democracies don’t have First Ladies. A Head of State and his wife are known as the First Couple. If they have a family they are collectively referred to as the First Family.  In Nigeria the title first lady is hardly used outside the political arena and has adopted its own connotations. Apart from the First Lady in the Presidency we also have first ladies in 36 states. The term lady actually originates from Anglo –Saxon or old English and is a civil term of respect for a woman. A lady is not simply a female but is defined as “a well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behaviour who is refined, polite and well spoken”, i.e. the female equivalent of a true gentleman.
The designation first lady seems to have originated in the United States with the presidential system of government. In the early days there was no generally accepted title for the wife of the president. Many early presidents’ wives expressed their own preference for how they were to be addressed, including the use of such titles as Madam President, Mrs President, and even Mrs Presidentress! Although historically the term first lady has generally been used to refer to the wife of a president there have been several occasions when another woman, such as the President’s daughter (as in the case of Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori) or sister (as in the case of President Evo Morales of Bolivia) has exercised the duties when the president was a widower or bachelor. Harriet Lane, the niece of bachelor President James Buchanan was the first woman to be called first lady while actually serving in that position. The position of first lady is not an elected one, carries no official duties, and receives no salary.
There is a strong tradition against first ladies holding outside employment but some have done so in order to keep themselves occupied while their husbands battle with the affairs of state.  Despite the Constitution of Nigeria making no reference to any ‘office of the first lady’ at any level, official funding and personnel have been allocated to first ladies since independence. As a wife to the President, the nation’s first lady is supposed to be the hostess of the presidential abode, and is expected play a role in social activism promoting welfare causes that are not politically divisive.  Any office of the first lady is meant purely to assist the wife to carry out her burdensome ceremonial duties of overseeing the organization of official social functions. Over the years four types of “first lady” have evolved worldwide. Firstly, those who simply remain housewives that lead public life, secondly those who become social activists, thirdly those who become social celebrities, and lastly those who become political interlopers.
In Nigeria our various first ladies tend to oscillate between the last two options and are becoming more high profile, influential and active in social and political affairs. They are increasingly becoming more ambitious, determined, and supportive of their husband’s in the political arena influencing their spouses not only in their personal and public life but also their political careers and social attitudes.  Apart from their so called “pillow influences” first ladies are now exercising control over speech writing, presidential appointments, and even campaigning.  However not all men allow their wives to exercise influence in political matters. One of our governors has made it quite clear that the position of first lady doesn’t exist in the Constitution and no law empowers the spouses of elected officials to hold office simply because they are the married to a political office holder.
No official duties whatsoever are assigned to any office of the first lady in his State. This commendable attitude protects spouses of elected officials from unnecessary public ridicule if by any chance they don’t possess the intellect or social graces to match their husband’s exalted position. In our culture it is considered very impolite and ill-mannered to disparage a man’s wife. Unless you are a family member or relation you really have no business discussing a man’s marriage. We only openly comment on another man’s wife when praising her.
Whatever her faults it’s just not our problem. Every man is entitled to marry whosoever he wants. In western nations men are even entitled to marry other men! Several national leaders, such as a former female Australian Prime Minister, were unmarried and “living in sin” with a partner while in office. The West recognizes the right of a man to have a relationship with another man, so we can all look forward to the day an American president is elected who is married to another man!
If the partners of these sorts of leaders interfere with affairs of state would the public be obliged to complain about the behaviour of the “First Lover” or of the “First Man”? The whole issue of the growing participation of first ladies in political matters in Nigeria is the clearest indication that our politicians lack the capacity to separate their domestic private lives from the public sphere.