Five books for aspiring brides

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. It is a non-fiction self-help book and John Gray’s most famous book for couples who want to develop more satisfying relationships. It shows the phases of a marriage. This is a phenomenal book that helps a woman understand that men are different. As a […]

1. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray.
   It is a non-fiction self-help book and John Gray’s most famous book for couples who want to develop more satisfying relationships. It shows the phases of a marriage.
   This is a phenomenal book that helps a woman understand that men are different. As a young bride, I used to think something was wrong with my spouse because no matter how encouraging the stories I had to tell, he seemed engaged in another activity like reading Newspapers etc. It was much later I learnt that women are more emotional while men tend to be more logical.
2. Why Men don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps by Allan & Barbara Pease.
   This book written by a couple is one of the most hilarious books on my book shelf. It has appeared on this page several times. It gives me a reason to be joyous because it confirms to me a lot of the things I was suspicious about. For example, men are not able to follow a story through if it is being told by a woman. He keeps asking, “Where is the end of the story?” because as family custodians, women tell a better story always but men cut to the chase and remove bits of the story that would have made it more exciting. So yes, I agree, men don’t listen. Truly, women can’t read maps. I still can’t find my way and I’ve lived in Abuja for many years. Honestly, sometimes the roads look exactly the same and if I visited at night, I certainly won’t find it in the day time. I am directionally challenged and so are most women. As an aspiring bride, you have to say something like I say all the time, “Yes, I get lost a lot but that’s so little compared to the beautiful babies I make”. Be sure to let him know and acknowledge your strength earlier on so he does not take them for granted. Don’t let him look at you like getting lost is a disease. That’s the way some of us are wired. Challenge him instead to try and be a pregnant woman.
3. 3) Any good cookery book
   I tell you what, it is not a lame mantra that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. In the food department, they are fastidious. Show that you’re a keeper by giving him food from his place if you are from different ethnic backgrounds and food from your place to get him to appreciate your culture. Learn to make an international dish you have never tried before. Make your weekends a feast, fresh fruit juice, two different salads, fried and coconut rice. Invite his friends to join him. Trust me, men like to show off. Do this perhaps once every two months and then every other week, have a candle lit dinner. Just the two of you. Keep it sustainable. Get the favour back twice a year or something like that. Get him to cook for you.
4. Bridal Magazines and any other related ones.
   This is the time to call on your fashion senses in trying to get that one in a million dress that will make you a stunning bride. Read my lips, it really doesn’t have to be expensive. If it’s the asoke, find the one that suits your complexion. Get a style that suits your personality. If it’s a wedding gown, be sure not to leave too much to the imagination. You are a bride; your cleavage is not for the public. Your jewellery should be understated but captivating. Bridal magazines do half the work for you. From ideas to fashion to venues and vendors.
5.  It is important that you pay close attention to your in-laws; your husband’s to-be-temperaments, his passion and note what he really likes about you. Having studied this, you have gone half way in ensuring the success of your marriage. The greatest challenge in a marriage is financial management. The comment used to be, “what is yours is yours and what is his is ours”. Not anymore. You must particularly draw a mental map on how you intend to manage resources and how he intends to care for you. A good book about finances by Robbye Schroeder although western is “Managing the Marriage Purse”. This book entails a number of principles that intend to guide a couple on managing their finances. Also, it points out the idea of a couple having an attitude of gratitude towards the other but more importantly, it emphasizes that a partner makes an impact regardless of their value…Do what works for you.